5 Lessons I Learned The Hard Way That Changed My Life Forever







  1. Why it’s so critical to be impeccable with your words and thoughts.
  2. How the art of surrender can save you a whole lot of time and energy.
  3. The #1 truth that will help you experience life more fully.


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Ever had the Universe smack you in the face with a lesson you didn’t see coming? 

I certainly have: from small lessons, to big ones, to the kind that completely turn your life upside down — or right side up, depending on how you look at it!

Today, I want to get real with you about five truths that hit me hard at the time, but that changed my life forever. 

I’m spilling the beans on these nuggets of wisdom because I’ve seen them work wonders in my life, and I bet they can do the same for yours. 

Curious? Let’s dive in…

#1. If you don’t like the life you’ve created, create again.

This was one of the first lessons I learned after I hit rock bottom in 2010 — and BOY was it a biggie.

Lying in that hospital bed with a laundry list of health problems, a job I no longer liked, and a raging inner critic, I felt so defeated. 

At the grand old age of 24, it felt like my life was over: how was I ever going to dig my way out of this hole?

I’m so incredibly grateful that through reading spiritual books, going to practitioners, making new friends and working on myself, I came to realize one of the most powerful truths on the planet: If you don’t like the life you’ve created, you can create again. 

In fact, you can create again and again, over and over. You can start creating a new life for yourself right now, in your next breath, if you wish. 

The first step? Be soft, kind and loving to yourself. Not just because you deserve it, but because it’s the only thing that will allow you to move forward.

Then take a breath, and start creating from your heart..

Remember, every moment is a clean slate from which you can create anew. And it’s NEVER too late to make another choice, take a different tack, and create a brand new future.

#2. Polarity will always exist.

N009 - Life Lessons - Image #1Sitting with the polarity of motherhood

Nothing is all ‘good’ or all ‘bad’. Life will always unfold with equal amounts of support and challenge. Yin and yang. Black and white. Up and down. Hot and cold. On and off. Masculine and feminine. Love and fear.

This means you can let go of the notion (and the pressure!) to be happy all the time, to win all the time, to feel ‘on’ all the time… That’s not how life works, and trying to attain it is a waste of your precious time and energy.

It also means that if you’re going through a tough time, you can take comfort in the knowledge that it too shall pass — just like everything else on this mortal plane.


Hot tip: In recognizing this dance of opposites, you allow yourself to experience life more fully, knowing that each moment, whether light or dark, is part of the fullness of your journey.

#3. Change what you can, surrender to what you can’t.

There are some things that are completely beyond your control. (Including, but not limited to: the past, the future, the weather, the traffic, the economy, and how many comments you get on your last Instagram post. )

Many people spend their time railing against issues like these, wasting precious time and energy, when if they only accepted them, they could start creating meaningful change in other areas of their life.

#4. Wear ‘Solution Spectacles’. (Not ‘Problem Pants’.)

It’s easy to look for problems, to make excuses why you can’t change your life, to find a million reasons why you shouldn’t even bother trying…

…and I should know! I spent years of my life living that way. 

But you know what I eventually realized? Finding problems is easy.

What’s harder — but way more rewarding — is to find solutions, even when it feels like everything’s against you. That requires guts, heart, and a spirit that won’t quit.

So, get rid of those ‘problem pants’. Slide on your ‘solution spectacles’. Look for ways to make things better. When you catch yourself thinking, “This won’t work for me,” start asking, “How can I make this work?” instead. Then watch how quickly the momentum of your life shifts.

#5. The Universe has ears.

The Universe has ears. It’s always listening to your thoughts and words, and it will give you more of what you affirm. 

So if you’re always saying how tired you are, guess what? The Universe will keep giving you more of that. 

If you always say that you have no money, or will never get out of debt, or will never find your soulmate, then the Universe is going to serve up more of that on a silver platter. 

So be intentional about how you speak and think. Choose words that paint the future you desire. Because the Universe doesn’t just listen; it echoes back what you send out.

#N009 - Life Lessons - Image 2

And there you have it — five hard-won lessons that have shifted the very ground I walk on. 

Take these lessons, tuck them into your toolbox, and use them to build a life that not only lights you up, but inspires the people around you too.

So what’s the first lesson you’re going to action?

I’m all ears, and I bet the Universe is too. Let’s make some magic happen, together. ✨

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Til next time, sending so much love,

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  1. Denisa says:

    Hi Melissa, I really enjoyed reading that. I completely agree with everything you said. And you’re right, the universe sure does seem to listen. I used to think I was the unluckiest person ever. After having my first daughter, I kept telling myself, “I’m so busy, I can’t handle this,” and lo and behold, that’s exactly what the universe gave me – more of that. It wasn’t until later that I realized I needed to stop using negative self-talk and start thinking and saying what I actually wanted in my life. It’s not easy, but it is possible. Most people don’t realize that everything that happens is a direct result of our own thoughts. But, well, sometimes it’s hard to admit..

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Hi Gorgeous, I'm Melissa.

Multiple bestselling author, #1 podcast host and TEDx speaker.



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