No matter where we are on our personal journey, we all have that little fear-based voice inside our head. You know the one I mean — it’s the voice that’s always whispering negative things in our ears and is determined to keep us stuck in Fear Town instead of soaring in the stratosphere where we truly belong. I like to call that voice your Mean Girl.
Though we all have one, not many people are aware of it or understand how to master it. But the truth is, my sweet friend, you don’t have to listen to that voice or let it rule your life.
After working with thousands of women across the globe to master their Mean Girls, I’ve identified certain negative statements that crop up again and again. Here are the 7 most common fear-based thoughts we tell ourselves on a daily basis, with key action steps to help you overcome them.
1. You’re Not Smart, Sexy Or Skinny Enough
How many times have you looked in the mirror and scoffed at yourself? How many times have you doubted yourself, your abilities and your achievements? Undermining yourself in this way is destructive and does nothing but keep you small and stuck. Make peace with where you are at this very moment and give yourself permission to forge onwards and to shine.
2. You’re Not As Good As Him/Her
Comparing yourself to other people will put you on the express route to unhappy land. Whether you’re measuring yourself against your bestie, your colleague, some random on Instagram, or a Victoria’s Secret model, our Mean Girls are wired to pick up the faults in ourselves, while seeing only the crowning achievements of others. Ditch the ‘comparisonitis’ by keeping your eyes on your own game and switch off from social media if that’s a big trigger for you, you can return back to it once you have dissolved your charges.
3. You’re Too Old To Even Bother Trying XYZ, Launching Or Starting Your Dream Business
This is such a common excuse, but you know what? It’s a massive cop-out. There are people all around us doing amazing things regardless of their age — whether it’s launching a business at 50, running a marathon at 60, or taking up painting at 70. Age is an illusion. So gather your own evidence of people doing awesome things, let go of the number, and simply follow your heart’s desires.
4. You’re Such A Fraud
Can I tell you a little secret? Everyone who’s ever taken a risk has felt like they’re a fraud at some point or another; like they’re not fully ‘qualified’ for the role. Whether it’s becoming a mum, publishing your work, or stepping up as the CEO, it’s always scary to try something new and to step outside our comfort zone. But this is yet another example of your Mean Girl attempting to keep you ‘safe and small’ by stopping you from following your heart. Don’t listen to her! No one knows how long we are here on this earth for. It could be a short period and our dreams are waiting to be realised. Take that leap and watch the Universe catch you.
You’re such a failure’ is one of the top 7 phrases we MUST stop telling ourselves TODAY.
5. Who Could Possibly Love You?
We all know that you have to become bursting with love within yourself before you can truly open your heart to your soul mate. But of course your Mean Girl doesn’t want that. She wants you to keep playing small and renting the penthouse in Fear Town, but that’s totally boring! Being bursting with love is way more fun.
6. You’re A Failure
Every time you ‘fail’ there’s an opportunity to grow. It’s time to start seeing your ‘failures’ as opportunities to pivot, adjust, and expand instead of letting your Mean Girl beat you up and tear you down.
7. You Say The Dumbest Things
Give yourself a break, sista! Everyone says things they think maybe weren’t the most supportive at times, but you need to let that go. Besides, in the big picture of life, everything is always perfect just as it is, and when you choose to see things like that nothing is ever wrong or dumb. It’s just your judgment on it that’s keeping you stuck. Let go of the past and come back to this beautiful present moment right here right now.
Let’s all commit to mastering our Mean Girl and choosing love over fear instead. By ditching these 7 phrases from your inner vocabulary for good, you are already well on your way to mastering your Mean Girl and living the life you desire.
Now I would love to hear from you. Which of these phrases do you say to yourself? Or do you have another one that is common for you? Please share with me in the comments below. And remember millions of beautiful souls visit this neck of the interwebs every week and your words could be the one thing that ignites massive inspiration within their heart and life. So don’t hold back.
As always thank you so much for being so open and loving and sharing your insights with me in the comments. I love reading every single comment and just so you know yes I do read every one.
P.S. Want to take mastering your Mean Girl to the next level? Get my book Mastering Your Mean Girl TODAY! Your dream life is waiting beautiful.