We all have a Mean Girl. She’s that negative fear-based voice inside your head that lives in the past or future, keeping you stuck in the deep dark woods of struggle city. And it ain’t fun! Life’s tough there. It’s effortful and actually really boring.
But, my sweet friend, there is another way to live…
So, what does your Mean Girl tell you?
Maybe it’s…
You’re too fat to fall in love.
He doesn’t love you.
You’re stupid
No one cares what you think.
You’re too old to even bother trying.
You’re such a fraud.
Everybody’s looking at you and thinking how ugly you are.
You’re never gonna get a boyfriend.
Who could possibly love you?
You’ve been stupid since high school and you’re always going to be stupid.
Have you seen the size of your butt lately?
You always screw up your relationships.
You’re not pretty enough or thin enough or popular enough.
You’ll never be as good as her.
You say the dumbest things.
You don’t earn enough.
You’re a failure.
Oy… it exhausts me just typing it!
When it comes to mastering your Mean Girl, inspired action is where it’s at. So let’s dig in right now: Write down the top five things your Mean Girl says to you the most. (Don’t judge yourself here, simply write them down.) Then, I want you to pick the one that has the most ‘charge’ around it — you know what I mean: the one that really stings, that you’re secretly afraid is true, and that keeps you seriously stuck. For the next week, your challenge is to master that Mean Girl thought by following my simple, super-effective Mastering Your Mean Girl 3-Step Process:
- Awareness. Become aware of when she pops up and tells you that you’re not good enough, thin enough, whatever enough. Most times we are so unconscious and not present that we aren’t even aware of her internal dialogue, so bringing your awareness to her words is the first step.
- Gently close the door on her. Once you are aware that she has popped up, you can now choose to gently close the door on her. It’s not about fighting her, or waging an inner battle — that’ll just cause more pain and suffering. Instead, it’s a gentle, grateful act that comes from a place of peace.
- Choose love instead. Once you have gently closed the door on her, choose to come back to your heart and choose love instead of fear. It’s so much more fulfilling when you do.
Follow through on this method for a week, and you won’t believe the spaciousness you’ll feel inside your head and the peace that’ll pervade your heart — it’s life-changing, on all levels.
Mastering your Mean Girl will change your life and rock your world.
Of course, overcoming one fear-based thought doesn’t mean the journey’s over — far from it. Then it’s time to choose another one of your Mean Girl’s criticisms and keep going through the process until she is no longer running the show and ruining your life. (And let me just say, the deeper into this work you go, the more incredible and soul-stirring the rewards — seriously.)
Now, because putting words down is WAY more powerful than just thinking them in your head, I’d love you to share with me in the comments below the biggest thing your Mean Girl says to you. Don’t be shy — I guarantee that what your Mean Girl says to you, we have ALL thought at some point. You are not alone, and no — you’re not weird. We all have these same fear-based thoughts, but you no longer need to let them control you or your life. So share away in the comments below… I can’t wait to read them.
As always, my precious soul sista, thank you so much for being here. For truly wanting to master your inner Mean Girl and live the life of your dreams. I bow to you!
P.S. What do you think of the trailer? Share with me in the comments below, and if you want to inspire the women in your life to master their inner Mean Girl and live the life of their dreams, share this trailer with them right now using the social media buttons below. Let’s make this go viral and help inspire millions of women around the world to master their inner Mean Girl. I can’t do this alone I need your help, so share away beautiful.
I can’t tell you how much this speaks to me! I am currently devouring the glow kitchen, and I’ll be ready for round 2 soon 🙂 xxx
Freaking love that trailer!!!! Am getting better as mastering my mean girl …. today she was absolutely screaming but I kindly told her to shhh and it totally worked. I felt less anxious & the minute she quietened down my phone rang with the news I was waiting for. Thank you Mel for inspiring so many to live such beautiful happy lives
High fives to you Kel, you’re AMAZING!!!
I love the trailer Melissa!
Can’t wait to take a sink my teeth into your book, Ange tells me it amazing xx
I have tears in my eyes honey! Wah! Love you xo
Just gorgeous Mel! I can’t wait to have her in my hot little hands and help you share her with the world! x
Hi melissa
I am so glad I follow you again!!! I was triggered at some point because of food, my mean girl was telling me you were right with your choices and I was wrong because I enjoy capuchinos!!
Now i am more at peace!!
I love so much your trailers, I wanted to preordered the book but I live in Guatemala and taxes are almost the prices of the book!!
I am french and see on the french amazon that it would be available in march 2016
so i have to learn patience!!
Hi darling,
I wish I could get it to you faster my love but it will be worth the wait.
Thank you for being patient.
xx
I can’t WAIT to get this book!!!!! ****Excited SQUIGGLY SQUIRM!***
It’s shipping! It’s shipping! It’s shipping!!!!!! It’s been months and it’s finally on it’s way!!!!! I can’t wait to read it and confirm what I know to be true—it’s going to be awesome!!!
😉
Mel!!!!!
I fall in love with he video, like wow you can’t believe how much it resonate in myself.
I jus can’t wait to read your book.
So my biggest mean girls favorite is:
YOU GONNA FAIL. Try and try again; I will watch you fall into the floor until and then stay there.
This one is playing as a background in my mind, no mater what I do, the background still there until headache. And then come back even stronger.
Thank you for everything you do for us
Much love
Charlotte
Yes!!!! How wonderful!
I have been on my journey solid everyday for 6 months now and I have lead by example and got all my friends into it, I have accomplished 100000 things and have started bouncing out of bed! I had started creative living and found my passion! I work towards it everyday! I practice meditation twice a day for 40 min total and yoga!
I have terrible days and can turn them around so much quicker!
My mantra “my life moves with ease & grace, all is well & I am safe”
You have helped guide me here every step of the way and you are a huge part of my life gorgeous!!
Thank you so very much!
My book is already ordered! Canny wait for the meditations.
Have an wonderful Xmas xxx
I LOVE you!!
I LOVE this mantra Mary, I am going to borrow it 😉
I am so proud of you darling, you’re AMAZING and should be so proud of your beautiful self. Keep going, you totally got this.
xx
Wow, the trailer is amazing! So much radiance, love and natural beauty. Seeing the vibrant way of life you are living is so inviting – who wouldn’t want to live a life similar to that! I can’t wait until your book is released!! So much love for you xx
The trailer is simply gorgeous Mel! I am smiling to myself right now as the timing was divine. I was reading A Return to Love on my way to work this morning and it was so clear that I need to keep working on my mean girl thoughts to take my relationship with my husband to the next level. Our love for others has to begin with the greatest love and respect for ourselves. Can’t wait to have Mastering Your Mean Girl in my hands!! So excited for you xxx
Exactly right honey it all starts within. When we are overflowing and bursting with love within ourselves we can then show up fully. Giving from THAT place is super fun 😉
xx
LOVE LOVE LOVE the trailer and am so freaking excited for your book!
Xxx
Lady I lOVE THE TRAILER! I am so excited for you and all the beautiful souls that you will help with this book. It honestly speaks to all women. I can’t wait to share this with my friends and clients, I know it will really help so many of them and give them the extra push they need to step up and master their mean girl . Much love xx
It sure will darling. I am so excited for you to read it 😉
xx
My mean girl says just about all those things! I will definitely be working on closing the door to her this week! SOo excited for your book to come out Mel <3 and those photos- your absolutely glowing! Ease and grace definitely shining through xo
My inner mean girl has been holding me back from living my dreams and desires for too long. It’s why I am always stuck in fear and keep repeating the same situations and never seem to break free or move past it. Love the new book. Definitely going to be reading it! It’s a big focus for me right now
LOVE THIS!
I can not wait to have your book in my hands 🙂
You’re amazing Melissa xx
Ahhhhh the trailer is amazing!! It’s funny, even after all my self work and being a coach myself, as soon as I watched it my mean girl piped right up… even more reason to read your beautiful book Xx Frances
‘Tears’…..wow this speaks volumes….. currently a huge struggle for me with my ‘mean girl’. A very inspirational trailer Melissa, thank you! Can’t wait for your book to arrive – bring on December 14 – it will be a super day (it’s my birthday too so will be great all round!)
Whoooo hoo what a great pressie for yourself 😉
xx
I have preordered your book and cannot wait to get it. My mean girl is so loud. some of the things she says is
-You can’t cope
-You don’t deserve to rest
-You’re a stay at home mum so the house duties are all up to you
-you’re not fit enough
-you’re too anxious/highly strung
-if you only schedule “slow movement” you’ll gain weight
That’s just a few. Since having my baby and spending more time with my own thoughts, she has escalated so much so I really hope your book and the bonus meditations help me to put her back in her place.
You’re very inspiring.
Thank you for all that you do Melissa. The kindness that comes through your blogs is amazing. X
You’re very welcome honey. Thank you for your kind words.
I am so excited for you to read my book and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
xx
I love this! You have hit the nail on the head by calling it a mean girl, it so is and I never thought of it like that before. It’s like free therapy (but works). This is exactly what I need to sort myself. I have only been on this journey for a few weeks, but have been reading so much and learning, a lot of it makes sense and some of it is confusing.
However I can already see signs of change. I still have a ton of work to do and have to be in certain situation to test myself when I am anxious and afraid but the mind set is there and working.
It’s hard,it’s very hard – but nothing worth while in life is easy. As you have said I have 40 years of junk to rid, it won’t happen for a while, but I feel so much better already and am ready to make changes. I am really looking forward to getting my hands on your book! Have a beautiful day!
It’s all about putting one foot in front of the other honey, don’t worry about the destination enjoy the journey, that’s where the magic happens 😉
xx
Ok Melissa you can say all that,but look at yourself. You are so beautiful,so fit,you do not have a big butt.You have a husband,you are healthy,you are smart,people love you,you have a good job,you have enough money.What else could you ask for,but for those who don’t live the perfect life you do, Mean Girl is totally true
Hey Romee,
That’s YOUR perception of me and you have no idea what my life was like before I turned my life around. I have worked a lot at mastering my Mean Girl to be where I am today and I will never stop mastering her, because I believe living our dream life is our birthright and it’s our duty to master our Mean Girl to create the life of our dreams.
xx
Wow Melissa I can’t believe how powerful this is…except I can because you’re amazing!! What a beautiful message and can’t wait for the book to release here in the U.S. already pre ordered, as a gift from me to me!! XO
What a beautiful gift my darling.
xx
Hi Melissa
I relate so much and would love to read you book when it’s out, but will it be available worldwide or just Australia? I’m from South Africa.
It will be available in Australia and New Zealand first then worldwide from March 2016.
You can order the Aussie version now if you wish also 😉
xx
This came at the exact right time Melissa. I am 16 years old and I am currently in Germany on a 5 month exchange. I can’t exactly help putting on weight as I am only eating what my host family feed me and I am going to the gym 4 times a week, trying to keep the weight down and stay fit because I really dislike that feeling when I am unfit and putting on weight. Anyways, so seeing as I have put on quite a bit of weight and can’t really lose it until I get home in January, my mean girl has been turned up quite loud saying “everyone’s staring at you because your legs are so fat and weird” or “everyone thinks your just a fatty” when in actual fact, I actually am SO PASSIONATE about health and wellness. They say it’s totally normal to put on weight as an exchange student but my mean girl is always criticising me and telling me to worry about what others think of my appearance. It’s really not nice. However I have been trying to quieten her down and not let her worry me but I’ve gotta admit it’s harder than it sounds! Now I have some useful tips to guide me so thank you Melissa. I believe that I found your post at this time for a reason and I am so thankful. xx Kate
I am glad it resonated honey.
Be careful of your diagonal and the mantras you are telling yourself, ie ‘I can’t really lose it until I get home in January’. Be careful what you tell yourself every day and bring your attention to your words. Become aware of your Mean Girl thoughts, gently close the door on her and return back to love. Try this every time she pops up and let me know how you go 😉
xx
I. Love. The. Trailer. It couldn’t be more on point- absolutely inspiring!
I am in the US- waiting until March, however, I have many of your goodies keeping me on track (goddess group and get your glow on).
Thank you for all you do for our tribe!
((Hugs)) Demetra
Awesome honey. I can’t wait for you to read it 😉
xx
Fabulous Melissa! Really inspiring work. Your book cover is gorgeous, and trailer is fantastic. Much love. Brilliant!
LOVE IT!
Gave me goosebumps actually.
I’ve just pre ordered my copy & am also very excited about the 10 step meditation!!!!
Enjoy my darling. Let me know how you go 😉
xx
Wow ! Melissa, your book is the best Xmas present I have ever received. I experienced so many emotions today as I worked through your “The Great Expectations” chapter. I definitely have many that have been keeping my Mean Girl well nourished ! As hard as it was, it has been wonderful to recognize & start releasing them. I can’t thank you enough for your valuable insights & your honesty. I have read many inspiring books, but this one is life changing. I am looking forward to finding out what the next chapters hold & also seeing you at your Brisbane preso. Love & Blessings xxx
Awesome news Dahlas. I am sooooo glad you are loving it and getting so much out of it. Keep me posted with your insights, I love hearing them 😉
P.S. I can’t wait to see you at my Brisbane event.
xx