melissa ambrosini, mastering your mean girl

The Power Of Ease And Grace PLUS A Sneak Peek At Mastering Your Mean Girl

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On January 1st of this year, I sat with my husband — as we do every New Year’s — and set our intentions for the year ahead. EASE and GRACE were the two words that sprung to my mind. I had a strong desire to move through my year — in fact, through every moment — with these two qualities as my constant companions.

But easier said than done, right?! With the endless daily perception of pressures all around us (like work, family and friends) it’s enough to rock even the most experienced zen goddess right off her meditation pillow. And then add to that, of course, the crazy pressure we (our Mean Girl) place on ourselves… it’s enough to make anyone pop.

I knew this year was going to be BIG, especially with my first published book Mastering Your Mean Girl coming out. Not only that, but I was hosting weekly Goddess Groups, launching the MA Academy Business Bootcamp, writing on my blog each week, keeping up with social media, emails, and speaking gigs around Australia, and being a step mama, wife, friend, sister, daughter etc… Then, a few short months into the year, I was also dealing (trying to cope) with my best friend passing away and my own health stuff too.

There was a while there where life felt really, really hard. So as you can see, I get it — I really do. I know what it’s like to feel completely snowed under, like you’re treading water with massive waves continuously crashing down on you. But, my dear friend, even in the most overwhelming of circumstances, we always have a choice: you can choose to move through anything with ease and grace, or you can choose to spend your time suffering. Even when you’re scrubbing the toilets and doing the housework, even when your to-do list is as long as the Thames, even when you’re filled with soul-wrenching when-will-this-ever-end grief… there’s always a choice, and I was committed to making it — no matter how far-off or far-fetched it seemed.

As I put the finishing touches on my book, I held that feeling of ease and grace, and I never worked on the book until I was in that state. Why? Because everything is energy, and if I am stressed and overwhelmed while I’m writing, you can bet your sweet tushie that you — my precious reader — will feel it in the end product. There ain’t no escaping it.

I was determined to carry this intention into every part of the book launching process too (which is notorious in the industry for being a ridiculously stressful time). And so far, this commitment has paid off. Despite still having a to-do list that’s as long as I’ve ever had, I’ve been surrendering to the process, relishing how the journey is unfolding, and upholding my choice every day… even when shizzle gets a little cray-cray.

Even when you’re filled with soul-wrenching grief, there’s always a choice to choose love.

Case in point: A few months ago, I had a 3-day photo shoot for the book. We’d identified loads of different photos we needed both in-text and for promotional purposes, so our call time was 5 a.m. each morning, and we shot until sun down. Each day included multiple locations across Sydney, at least 10 outfit changes (with different hair and makeup for each one), various props that needed to be coordinated, and a whole heap of different angles that needed to be captured. And as anyone who’s ever done a shoot before knows all too well: all of this is being juggled with one eye on the sky, chasing and racing the light, trying to get the best outcome possible… It’s a very full-on process!

melissa ambrosini, mastering your mean girl

On top of all of this, to be honest, I actually wasn’t feeling my best. I’d been excited about the shoot for months, and then just before go-time, a few health issues began to flare up and I started to feel… well, kind of flat! BUT, let me say unequivocally: these are the times when all that energy devoted to self-work and soul-growth genuinely pays off. Almost immediately, I became aware of my Mean Girl, of the stress threatening to well up, and of the feelings and emotions in my body. So before I got on set, I had an internal conversation and made a pact with myself: Girlfriend, I said, Do this with ease and grace, or don’t do it at all

And the effect was amazing.

melissa ambrosini, mastering your mean girl

The day before I’d felt immense pressure. Everything was on me: I’d written the call sheet, I needed to make sure we were getting all the looks, I needed to make sure everyone was fed, hydrated and happy, I needed to make sure we didn’t run out of time, or go over time, I needed to make sure that I was showing up fully for the shots. I’d placed so much pressure on myself, but in that one conversation, I decided to drop it like it’s hot. I wanted to enjoy the process. I wanted to laugh with the epic team I’d assembled. And I genuinely wanted to do the whole thing with ease and grace. Which is precisely what we did.

melissa ambrosini, mastering your mean girl

And I firmly believe you can sense this vibe in the end product… (Seriously, how stunning are these shots? My beautiful soul sista Bayleigh Vedelago is a freaking genius!

melissa ambrosini, mastering your mean girl

So today, I want to encourage you to make a similar choice in your own life. Where can you add more ease and grace? Maybe it’s with your work, at home, with your health, or even on your yoga mat. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below (and also what you think of the pic’s!)

As always, thank you so much for being here, beautiful. Your willingness to step into your true power inspires the heck out of me. I love-love-love having you here.

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  1. Hayley says:

    You have had an incredibly massive year angle, and truly, it’s been inspiring to observe you stepping up – again and again and again to what is in front of you. Totally, absolutely inspiring. Thankyou for being such a delicious example of love, ease and grace!

    I’m certain your year was everything you could have imagined and more.

    In the cracks, there is light.

    Sending you so.much.love.

    -Hayley x x

    • Melissa says:

      Love you so much Hayley. Thank you for your beautiful words darling you really are such an angel.

      Sending you loads of love.

      xx

  2. Kelly Hensley says:

    Flip!!! Best post ever. I so love logging on & seeing new posts. You are such a goddess. Good on you for honouring you. It’s so easy to sit back and thing what a glorious life you have but heck you’ve had a full year and totally aced it with ease and grace. I am so proud of you!! Lovr you so much! xx P.S. Those photos are seriously freaking amazing, you are totally glowing, radiant and kicking mean girl ass!!!

  3. Jocelyne says:

    There is so much beauty in your pictures. I really looooove your aura! Honestly I am a little jealous of your shining being. But this is what I want in 2016. I want to fully commit to myself. I have to look after myself… And this is what I need the mostin my life right now =)

    • Melissa says:

      Don’t wait until 2016 my darling, start right now, commit to loving yourself and flexing your self-love muscle today. Let me know how you go angel.

      xx

  4. Laura says:

    Dear Melissa,

    Blown away by your magic words, strength and wisdom once again <3 You speak so much truth 🙂

    Biggest high five and hug on living this year with ease and grace! That's not always the easiest to do – even if we are meditating and practicing self love – I feel mean girl takes over in the most unexpected moments. Thank you so much for reminding us what to do in those situations!

    Congratulations on the stunning photos and book launch!
    Will pre-order it asap 🙂

    I could definitely use more ease and grace towards my health and work. Perfectionist girl keeps popping up every now and then – even though I know that it's just an irrational fear that who I am or what I make isn't good enough… Ha, I really can't wait to read your book 😉

    Have a wonderful day in Sydney!
    Love + Cozy Winter Vibes from Northern Europe! xo Laura

    • Melissa says:

      Angel you are going to LOVE my book.

      P.S. Make sure you pre-order before December 14th so you get my bonus meditations. I don’t want you to miss out 😉

      xx

  5. Michelle says:

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!! Amazing photos

  6. Alessia says:

    Oh Melissa, I absolutely love this message ( and of course the photos are stunning!!). One of my favorite posts ever, I think we really need to remind ourselves to move on with ease and grace especially in this moment of the year, very stressful and full of deadlines. In the next few weeks I have lots going on, and I don’t feel at my best, but I will remind myself to face each moment with ease and grace, it already makes me feel lighter. Alessia xx

  7. Kate says:

    Mel, Thank-you so much being you and giving us SO much endless love, energy and inspiration. Thanks for always being honest and sharing your journey with us. You are truly amazing.

    Kate xo

  8. Tess says:

    You are a beautiful lady with a beautiful heart. Your words of support to the fellow sistahood will leave a lifelong imprint on each and every one of us I’m sure of that. You inspire me in many ways. Thank you Mel xx

  9. Sarah Thornborough says:

    The photos are just stunning! Can’t wait for my copy of your book to arrive! Eep!
    As a new mumma I can definitely be practising more ease and grace with how I go about caring for my little prince and my self. I went through a horrific week last week because I got so stressed and worried about my little guy because he’d lost weight and it started turning into a downward spiral of despair, which made the situation worse then it would have otherwise been. If I had handled the situation with ease and grace and reminded myself to do all things with love not fear, the week would have gone much smoother and we would have got back on track sooner. Thank you for this post. It is such a great reminder, wish you were with me each day to remind me!
    Love you and you message! Xx

    • Melissa says:

      Darling girl, well done for catching your Mean Girl, better late than never 😉

      I want to see pic’s of your little man. We miss you so much at The Goddess Group and can’t wait to see you soon.

      And p.s I am always with you angel, just tune in to Goddess Group On Demand for your daily dose of love from me.

      xx

  10. Bec says:

    Thank you for being such an AMAZING inspiring person and for constantly opening up and sharing your journey in such a positive way. You are totally changing my life!

  11. Tamsin says:

    Beautiful post Hun! You have had such a big year and you do an amazing job inspiring us all. P.S It has been way to long since I have seen you. I think I will have to fly up for a goddess group! Much love xxx

  12. Paula Gowland says:

    thank you for sharing – you are such an inspiration and I love the information you share! I met you at an EUP earlier this year on the Sunshine Coast and I love how you really walk your talk and share your journey in such a beautiful way. Your photos are stunning! Lots of love to you. Paula XX

  13. Cayla says:

    Love this! And so true- in each moment we either choose love or fear. We’ve been conditioned into a fearful mindset and that makes choosing love difficult. So easy to get stuck in your own mind- focussing on what is wrong.. To survive when we live in the cave men age we needed to focus on what was wrong. The realisation that the only constant in life is change allows for ease and grace. There will be shit times and there will be incredible times. The thing that differentiates those times are your perspective.. And on that lovin thought, love you always babe xox

  14. Helene says:

    Mel honey, congratulations on your book! I am now living in New York, still writing on beauty and nutrition for a lifestyle website: http://www.justmywild.com. Would love if you ever get the chance to read! I can’t wait to read your book (hopefully I can get it sent to me!). Your emails bring joy to my day and are always a great reminder to live more in the moment and be less focused on getting my own outcome

    • Melissa says:

      Hey Helene,

      Thanks so much for your kind words. My book will be in stores in New York in March 2016 or you can pre-order the Aussie version now. It’s totally up to you.

      I will check out the site.

      P.S. I will be in New York in March next year 😉

  15. Catherine says:

    Wow Melissa, it’s funny how just reading this I began to feel ease and grace inside of me … I love the way you so genuinely share your life with us. Thank you for this wonderful post. The pictures are so beautiful! I can’t wait for the book to come out! xxx

  16. Erika says:

    Melissa,

    You look absolutely gorgeous! The pictures came out great and I am over the moon excited to read Mastering Your Mean Girl. You’ve accomplished so much this year and I’m looking forward to all you have to share in 2016. You go girl!

    Rock on,
    Erika

  17. Merrina says:

    I would just like to say how inspired I am. Wow. I found this website and was instantly attracted to it. Every single word on this blog is the embodiment of love and meaning. This site really helped me too. At the age of fourteen, I had a problem with picking at myself. I was picking at my outside and my inside. My life was stressful and I was constantly filling myself with negative energy. This past year has been tough but your inspirational posts have kept me going like fuel. You are my absolute idol and I just would like to say thank you.

  18. Nicola says:

    Thank you Melissa … I have just read this today & it was exactly what my heart needed to hear.

    Much love xo

  19. Natalie Browne says:

    A huge CONGRATULATIONS Melissa on your amazing and beautiful book!!! You are such a true inspiration and such an authentic human being! I love your honesty and the way you share everything so beautifully!! Thank you, thank you for all you do!! WIll your book be available in Europe?…really would love to get it as a start to my New Year…
    Happy hugs,
    Nat x
    P.S – You look fabulous in all the pics and your husband’s new release “Little Lover” is magic! You two are an amazing duo!!!

    • Melissa says:

      Thank you so much Natalie, you’re such a treasure.

      You can get my book on Amazon have you checked that out yet sweetie?

      P.S. How beautiful is Little Lover 😉 Keep an eye out for more coming soon.

  20. Mel says:

    OMG, so freakin excited. I loved this post, it seems every time I come onto your page the universe directs me to the exact pages I need to help put my reasoning back into perspective. I have been following you for years and can say your words truely help me chip away at my mean girl. I’m so excited to have your book in my hot little hand to read over the holidays. Eternally grateful for your inspirational ease and grace blog. Love Mel xxx

    • Melissa says:

      Thank you so much for your beautiful words Mel. I am beyond grateful to have you on this journey with me. You’re a treasure!

      Keep mastering your Mean Girl beautiful.

      xx

  21. Vanessa says:

    Oh Melissa, where to begin.. I searched your blog posts this afternoon for some wisdom and inspiration. I don’t mean to sound like a heavy weight so I’ll break it down for you. My sister has been diagnosed with late stages Melenona Cancer, I’m in my final year of a full time Counselling Degree, working, managing to maintain a relationship with a wonderful man while internally my mean girl is running my show and because of the stress, my hormones are back to front and inside out – Yep, I think that paints the outline of my circumstances nicely. What’s important to me though, is knowing that I can come to this blog page and feel like I’m not walking alone and that my heart felt dream of becoming a world class Counsellor/ business antripanure doesn’t have to be put on the shelf collecting dust. In this time in my life, I’m so encouraged by inspiring women such as yourself who lead a life with Love at the forefront of everything you do. Who arnt afraid to be brave and authentic and who guide others generously. So thanks, you’ve helped me today and today will make my tomorrows a little easier.

    Ness

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Hi Gorgeous, I'm Melissa.

Multiple bestselling author, #1 podcast host and TEDx speaker.

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