All my life I have played small in order to not make other people feel insecure. I never wanted to stand out and I would go to great lengths to avoid that happening.
Case in point? Back in 2005 when I auditioned for the Moulin Rouge in Paris, I got down to the last five girls. But my best friend (let’s call her Naomi) didn’t. I felt awful. I was so worried about protecting her that I even started deliberately not dancing as well. I didn’t want Naomi to feel inadequate, so I pulled myself right back. In that moment, I was shrinking, clamming a lid over my light.
When I found out I got accepted, I remember my first thought being “Oh no, I hope Naomi is ok!” I didn’t even really stop to celebrate the fact that I had just been accepted into the Moulin Rouge in Paris — it’s a massive deal in a professional dancer’s world and I completely missed it.
This ‘playing small’ business has been a bit of a recurring theme for me. A few months ago, I had a reading with Ophira — one-half of the amazing Astro Twins. The session was awesome, with loads of aha moments and potent insights. But one of the most profound things she said to me that really hit home was that in my past lives, I was always the second best, the supporting actress. Never the star but always the sidekick, I never got my turn to shine. She then informed me that I have come back in this lifetime to learn how to be okay with my own greatness. To figure out how to sit comfortably in my own personal fabulous-ness and finally let myself shine.
This all resonated so deeply with me. I could feel the truth of her words echoing in my body. I asked myself how to improve your life Melissa?
After my session, this quote by the amazing Marianne Williamson came to mind:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
Even as I sit here and write this post, I feel uncomfortable.
- “What if people think I’m bragging or that I’m up myself?”
- “Maybe I shouldn’t post it? “
- “Maybe it’s better if I shrink down and delete this post?”
Shhhhhhhhh, Mean Girl!
Celebrating how truly great you are can be a massive challenge. In fact, it can trigger a lot of stuff to start bubbling up — in both yourself and those around you. It’s tough to let your light shine, to really own it.
But the thing is, it’s really necessary if you want to step into your power and embody your full self.
Now, this doesn’t mean you need to be the best at everything, or that you need to suddenly live your life in the spotlight. All I am saying is that you need to shine and celebrate your greatness, whatever that may look like for you.
We also need to start celebrating our greatness every day, not just when we kick big goals like launching a product, finishing uni, buy our first home or getting married. Celebrate the little things that happen. Like letting go of an old limiting belief. Closing the door on your Mean Girl or choose love over fear when you would normally be swept up in anxiety.
Those precious small-scale moments are equally as important to celebrate as the big ones. And they’re a truly powerful way to start allowing yourself to expand into your full potential.
Now my question to you my darling is this: Do you shrink in order to make sure others don’t feel inadequate? Open your heart, be vulnerable and share with me in the comments below.
I want to challenge you to shine brighter today. Let your greatness pour out of every cell in your entire body, feel that flow of energy and revel in your divine feminine goddess greatness. And if there’s someone in your life who you feel could benefit from stepping up and owning their light, please spread the love and share this article with them.
Thank you so much for being so generous in your comments. Your insights help so many others in our tribe.