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Do you ever feel like a fraud? Like at any moment, everyone might see through you?
Welcome to the world of Impostor Syndrome.
If you’re familiar with this sneaky saboteur, there’s good news: not only are you far from alone, but there are proven techniques you can use to overcome that crushing self-doubt.
Press play to find out how…
In this episode we chat about:
- Why no one is immune from Imposter Syndrome — not even world class performers and high achievers (3:01)
- The mindset shift that helps you own your success without downplaying your wins (3:41)
- How to eliminate the shame around Impostor Syndrome (and why you’re not alone) (4:59)
- The powerful reframe that helps you rewrite your inner critic’s narrative (6:15)
- Why comparison is quietly draining your confidence — and how to stop it (7:10)
- A grounding somatic technique that calms your nervous system fast (8:37)
- This Beyoncé-approved move will help you instantly feel more courageous (and it’s simpler than you think!) (9:53)
- Why perfection is not the goal — and what to aim for instead (11:24)
Episode resources:
- SheLaunch (join here)
- Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
- Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
- Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
- Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
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The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.
[00:00:00] The Melissa Ambrosini Show. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, open, wide, comparisonitis and Time Magic, and I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word. Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in.
Your own life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready? Beautiful. Beautiful.
Hey, beautiful. Welcome back to the show. Today I wanna talk about imposter syndrome because. This has come up so much inside She launch and just in my circle, so many people have experienced it, are experiencing it, their clients are experiencing it, and I wanna [00:01:00] talk to how to finally overcome it. So if you have ever felt like a fraud or if your clients are dealing with imposter syndrome, or your children or your friends, this episode is going to be so powerful for you because if you are familiar with that sneaky saboteur.
There is good news. Not only are you far from alone when it comes to this, but there are proven techniques that you can use to overcome that crushing self-doubt, and I’m so excited to share them with you now. When I wrote my first book, mastering Your Mingle, that was in 2015 that came out. Imposter syndrome hit me like a freight train.
My inner Ming girl was saying things to me like, who are you to write a book? Why would anyone care what you have to say? When is everyone gonna realize that I wasn’t a real author? Now, those feelings plagued me throughout the entire writing process, and I’ve written four bestselling books since then, and that feeling, it comes up, but it’s just a [00:02:00] little part of me that feels like an imposter, but it’s not the truth of who I am.
So even when I would physically see my book sitting on the shelf in bookstores, I still felt like a fraud. I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word author out loud for a really long time, and I’d do everything to kind of skate around it. Somehow it felt easier to say that I’d written a book than to own the title of author.
Now, that’s just one of my experiences with imposter syndrome, and I have many, many, many more, and I’ve had to do work over the years to overcome. That doubt and to own my achievements. And over time I’ve figured out the best strategies and techniques, the stuff that can genuinely rewire your thought patterns and stop the downward spiral into self-doubt.
And this is what I teach my clients. So I want you to grab a pen and paper or open a new note in your phone and take some notes. This is what I’ve found to be the most [00:03:00] effective. Number one, recognize that your perceptions aren’t facts. So some of the world’s brightest minds, including bestselling authors, Oscar winning actors, and successful entrepreneurs have all experienced imposter syndrome.
Every single one of them now of these high achievers are experiencing it too. It is clear it isn’t about actual skill level, but it’s about our perception. So my sweet friend, I want you to remember that your perceptions are not facts. Really embed that in your mind. My perceptions are not facts. Okay? So that is the first step.
The second one is you have to own your achievements. Every time you achieve something, whether it is big or small, I want you to write it down. I keep a note in my phone called 2025 wins, or you can put 20, 25 achievements, whatever the year is. [00:04:00] So every time I achieve something or something feels like a win to me, I add it to that list.
And whenever I’m feeling down on myself, or I’m doubting my ability or my strength or my courage, I read that list. And at the end of the year, it’s really beautiful to share that list with Nick. So write down your achievements, celebrate them, whether it is finishing a task, whether it is launching your offer, whether it is.
Getting positive feedback, whether it is getting your clients to their goal, or even if it is a parenting win that made you smile, write it down. Then when that self-doubt starts to creep in, I want you to take a look at your win list or your achievement list. Open it up, read it because right in front of you is hard evidence of your greatness, hard evidence of your achievements.
So when you have that, you can go look, imposter, look in a mean girl. This is how great I am. Okay, so that is the step one. Own your achievements. [00:05:00] Number three, talk about it. Most of us have a tendency to stay silent about imposter syndrome. There’s a lot of shame wound up on it, and we don’t want others to know, and it is crazy, but everyone feels it.
And funnily enough, opening up can be the best antidote. If you are brave enough to share your feelings with those around you, or even just one person like your coach or your best friend or your partner, I guarantee you’ll be blown away by how many other people have felt like a fraud too. And sharing your feelings like this can offer a fresh perspective.
Plus hearing other people’s stories might give you that ah moment when you realize just how common these feelings truly are. So talk about it. Open up, share that you feel like an imposter in this situation, or whatever it is, because I can guarantee my friend that almost every single person on this planet has felt like that at some point in their life.
Okay, so that is number three. [00:06:00] Talk about it and choose who you share with. Like, I’m not saying you have to talk about it with everybody. You have to talk about it with people that you feel comfortable with, that you trust, that you feel safe with. Okay. So that isn’t step number three, talk about it. Number four, reframe your thoughts.
Our thoughts have power. I say this to my clients all the time. Your words and thoughts become your reality. And if you find yourself thinking or even saying, I don’t know how to do this, so I must be incompetent, I want you to try reframing that too. I haven’t learned how to do this yet, but I can and I will, and I am.
Your words and your thoughts create your reality. They are so powerful. So changing the narrative from one of self-doubt to one of growth and potential can make all the difference. So if you feel like you are stuck in a rut, check your thoughts. Check your words, your words and your thoughts are a direct reflection [00:07:00] of your manifestations.
So if you feel like you are in a rut. Check your words. Check your thoughts. Okay, so that is number four. Reframe your thoughts. Number five, stop comparing. Stop comparing yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but scrolling through social media, it is easy to start thinking that no one else feels the same way that you do.
But I promise you, we are all human and we all feel the same thing. Yes. So remember, you are seeing the highlight reel, not the reality. Comparing your behind the scenes to someone else’s shiny moments is like comparing apples and artichokes. They are two completely different things, so keep your eyes forward on your own lane.
Celebrate your unique journey and remind yourself that everyone has their own path and own pace. You cannot compare your chapter six to someone else’s Chapter 26. [00:08:00] Okay, so stop comparing. That is number five. Stop comparing. If comparison is something that you really struggle with, I want you to grab my book Comparisonitis, and it outlines a proven step-by-step strategy to help you break the cycle of comparison, free up mental bandwidth, and live life on your own terms.
This is one of my bestselling books, comparisonitis, how to stop Comparing Yourself to others and be genuinely happy. And I know that you will get so much out of it. So head to comparisonitis.com if you wanna grab yourself a copy today. So that’s number five. Stop comparing. Number six, ground your sweet self when you are feeling like a fraud.
Sensations can become overwhelming and anxiety can take hold. I’ve been there. So the simple solution is to ground yourself, babe. An easy way to do this is the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique and this is how it goes. Identify five things that you can [00:09:00] see. Five things you can see right now. Let’s do it together so I can see a crystal, my computer, my camera, my lights, my keyboard, and my microphone.
Yeah, four things you can touch. Do that now. Four things you can touch,
three things you can hear,
two things you can smell, and one you can taste. This simple technique brings you back to the present moment and away from spiraling thoughts. Okay? So try that. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Technique, ground your sweet tush whenever you are spiraling into imposter syndrome. Okay? Ground yourself, number seven. Create an alter ego.
So I talk about this a lot inside she launched, but [00:10:00] Beyonce famously has an alter ego. So in moments where she feels too nervous or scared to go out on stage, she will step into the shoes of her alter ego, Sasha Fierce. Who is always ready to rock the mic and blow the audience away. So I get my clients that are struggling with putting themself out there on social media to create an alter ego for themselves, and it works.
They love it, and they get the results. I. So coming up with your own secret identity can be a powerful tool to tackle imposter syndrome. Now, when you activate this identity, you unleash a more powerful, confident, kickass version of yourself who is always primed to tackle obstacles and overcome resistance.
It’s kind of like wearing armor against self-doubt. And seriously, if it’s good enough for Beyonce, it is worth a try for us too. I want you to just close your eyes. If you’re not driving, I want you to think about the most confident BS version of [00:11:00] yourself. How does she hold herself? How does she speak? How does she enter the room?
Do you wanna give her a name? What is she wearing? Really visualize her, and whenever self-doubt or imposter syndrome creeps in, I want you to step into your alter ego. So that is number seven, create an alter ego. And the final one, number eight, aim for progress, not perfection. The point of these strategies is to not eliminate all moments of doubt.
We are human right and doubts may pop up, so I don’t want you to freak out when they do. By embodying these strategies, those moments stay just that fleeting moments, not defying beliefs. Okay? So just aim for progress, not perfection. Keep taking imperfect action. Let go of the word perfect and perfection.
Delete that from your vocabulary and just keep [00:12:00] showing up every day. This is one of my superpowers. No matter what is going on in my life, I keep showing up. I do not let whatever is going on behind the scenes in my life block me and stop me. And my clients are the same because I embody that. So take imperfect action every single day, no matter what is going on in your life.
Okay, so just some key takeaways for you. Imposter syndrome can be tenacious, but remember, it’s built on perception, not reality. By actively challenging and reshaping these perceptions, you can rewrite your internal narrative Today and every single time you challenge your imposter feelings, you reclaim a bit more of your rightful confidence and self-belief.
And over time, you’ll find not just a reduction in self-doubt, but an increase in genuine grounded self-assurance. And it’s not just about having all the confidence and zero self-doubt, it’s about moving forward [00:13:00] despite having those feelings. And remember, your dreams aren’t waiting for perfection. They are waiting for action.
Imperfect, messy action. So just to recap, number one, recognize that your perceptions aren’t facts. Number two, own your achievements. Number three, talk about it. Number four, reframe your thoughts. Number five, stop comparing your beautiful, unique self. Number six, ground yourself. Number seven, create an alter ego.
And number eight, aim for progress, not perfection. Remember, you are not alone if you have these feelings of imposter, but you can live without them, and please don’t let them stop you from sharing your light with the world because the world needs you and your magic. I. I hope you got a lot out of this episode, and if you did, please subscribe to the show and leave me a review on Apple Podcasts because it means that [00:14:00] we can inspire and educate even more people together.
And when you leave a review, send me an email to hello@melissaramini.com and I will send you my wildly wealthy meditation as a thank you gift for taking the time to write a review. Now, if there is someone in your life that you can think of, maybe a friend or even your clients. Anyone that this episode will benefit, please share it with them right now.
You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy. Healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.
Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.
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