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We often talk about the boundaries we set with others, but what about the ones we set for ourselves?

Personal boundaries are lines in the sand drawn *by* you, *for* you, that you commit to not crossing.

It doesn’t matter if you’re exhausted, having a rough day, or facing temptation; these boundaries are non-negotiable.

Now, if you’re thinking, “But isn’t that a bit restrictive?”, let me stop you right there because setting personal boundaries can actually give you *more* freedom and help you achieve your goals with more ease and speed.

Intrigued? I thought so! 

So let’s dive deep into the transformative power of personal boundaries…

In this episode we chat about:

  • Understanding the power of personal boundaries (1:04)
  • The boundaries I’ve set for myself that help me live in alignment (1:33)
  • The best-ever strategy to avoid decision fatigue (5:38)
  • The surprising interaction of personal boundaries and your identity (7:26)
  • How to harness the power of ‘lines in the sand’ to help you achieve your goals (8:08)
  • Tips and techniques for setting and sticking to personal boundaries in your own life (8:59)

Episode resources:

  • SheLaunch (join here)
  • Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
  • Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
  • Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
  • Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
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The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

[00:00:00] This is episode 572, where I am sharing with you why you need boundaries and how to set them for yourself. Grab your pen and paper, my friend. We are diving deep. Because boundaries are so important so that you can live in alignment with your core values as the leading force. Let’s dive in. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini show.

I’m your host, Melissa, best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, and Time Magic. And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word. Each week, I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life and become the best version of yourself possible.

I love you. Are you ready? Beautiful.[00:01:00] 

Hey, beautiful. And welcome back to the show. I’m so excited about this conversation because boundaries are so important and we all need healthy boundaries. And I’m going to share with you the power of them today and why and how you can set them. But first I just want to share like what are personal boundaries.

Basically they are rules that you set for yourself to keep you in alignment with your highest values at all times. So some of my personal boundaries are like, I don’t eat gluten or refined sugar, and it doesn’t matter if it is my best friend’s birthday, if someone has baked me a cake, or if I’m visiting the world’s most famous pastry chef.

I simply just don’t do those two things. The negative impact that that has on my stomach and how I feel, my energy, my brain, it just isn’t worth it for me. So I have drawn a hard line in the sand with that. And now I just simply [00:02:00] don’t do it. That is just a personal boundary of mine that I don’t cross.

Another one is I don’t drink alcohol. Like I don’t care if it’s a wedding, a milestone birthday, or if someone has poured me a glass of 10, 000 champagne. I just don’t do it. It is a hard line for me and I don’t cross it. It does not serve me, and to be honest, I really don’t even like the taste of it. I stopped drinking alcohol in October 2010.

Holy moly, that was a long time ago. And I’m just so much better without it. I don’t enjoy it, I don’t like the way that I feel, so for me that’s a personal boundary that I just don’t cross. Another one is I move my body every single day, like I don’t think about it, I just do it. Now, sometimes it’s an hour of walking or 20 minutes of walking, like a weight session, Pilates.

Other times it might just be 10 minutes of gentle stretching or running around with my daughter. It doesn’t matter what it is. I just aim to move my body [00:03:00] every single day. That is a personal health boundary of mine. that helps me thrive in my body, mind, and soul. Another one is, is I don’t look at social media first thing in the morning.

I know that doing that sets me up to feel frazzled and scattered, and so I simply do not do it. I don’t do it. I will turn my phone on, but I will not open social media until I have done my most important tasks for that day, in my work, that is. So once I’ve started work, I will do what we call in time magic, the time magic tasks, which is the three most important things that you need to do that day to move the needle forward in your business.

So I do those. And then when it is my social media time, that is when I open social media. So I do not do it first thing in the morning. Try that personal boundary for yourself and see how it feels. So that’s another one of mine. And another one is that I only drink high quality, clean, filtered water. I care so [00:04:00] much about my body and my cells and my microbiome to drink what I call junk water.

So this is a hard boundary for me. If I am out and I’m thirsty and there’s no clean water, I will just wait till I get home. Like there’s just no crossing that boundary for me. And you might be thinking, Oh my gosh, Melissa, that’s so extreme. But it’s just a personal boundary that I love myself so much. I love my temple so much.

I love feeling good and these things make me feel good. They make me feel good. My body, my mind, and my soul, they make me feel good. So, your personal boundaries could be completely different to these, and that’s okay. I’m just sharing them with you so that you get an idea of what some of mine are. But you need to think about and find what works for you, not for someone else.

So please don’t feel bad if mine look very different to yours. Each person’s personal boundaries are as individual as they are. So I want you to take a moment [00:05:00] to type in your phone or write down in your journal, like what are your personal boundaries? Because when you know yourself so deeply. And you love yourself so deeply, you will have a list of them and you will honor them.

And every time you do step over or break one of those boundaries with yourself, you are eroding that trust that you have with yourself. You’re telling yourself that you don’t trust yourself. So take a moment and work out what your personal boundaries are. And share them with your partner or share them with your kids and help hold each other accountable.

Okay. So I want to now chat about the benefits of personal boundaries because there’s so many. Number one is they help you avoid decision fatigue. We all have a limited capacity of making decisions each day, right? And once that bucket is depleted, making good decisions can feel extra challenging. I know you know what I’m [00:06:00] talking about.

One cool thing about personal boundaries is that they actually help you bypass the decision making process. So say you have a personal boundary that you don’t work on weekends. If you are ever asked to take on a project that demands weekend work, like your response becomes effortless. It’s a simple, straightforward, no, no, I can’t do that.

Now, of course, there are times where you may have to, like if you’re in the middle of a launch or you need to get something done, of course, if this is a really strong boundary of yours and your boss has asked you to work weekends for the next six months, and that’s a really hard no for you, then the response becomes effortless.

It’s simply a straightforward. No, I can’t do that. So there’s no internal struggle. There’s no weighing up the decisions. There’s no feelings of guilt. It’s just pure alignment with your personal boundary. How liberating is that? Yeah. So, this is why you need to get clear on what your personal boundaries are.

What are your personal [00:07:00] boundaries in your relationships? What are your personal boundaries with your health, with your work, with your phone, with your children? Go through every area of your life and work out what your personal boundaries are. There’s a whole section on this in Open Wide. Go and re read that section of the book and get clear.

on what your personal boundaries are in all the different areas of your life. Yeah. So number two is they help shift your identity. So when you set a personal boundary and you stick with it for long enough, it becomes part of your identity. So let’s say that you gave up smoking years ago. If someone offered you a cigarette today, your answer would be a no brainer.

Nope, I’m not a smoker. So see how that last sentence is about your identity? You’re not having to make a choice. You’re just being who you are, which makes it a breeze to stay true to what really matters to you. And in alignment with your core values. [00:08:00] Values. Yeah? So, it helps shift your identity. That is another powerful byproduct of setting healthy boundaries.

Alright, number three, they help you reach your goals. So say that you have a goal to write a book and you’ve got the idea, you’ve got the passion and you just need the time. Then you make a game changing decision that you’re not going to watch TV at night anymore. so that you have that space to write your book.

This is your new personal boundary. Now, it might take some willpower and discipline to follow through on this at first, but soon enough, it will become so second nature that you start thinking of yourself of the type of person who is so laser focused on their goals and who just doesn’t watch TV, right?

And so if your partner or your roommates are like, let’s watch TV. You’re like, Nope, that’s not me. I’ve got a book to write. Every minute counts. Okay, so setting healthy boundaries in all areas of your life help you reach your goals. So how do [00:09:00] you put this into practice and harness the power of personal boundaries in your own life?

The process is super simple. Think about your goals that you set for this year. Now, ask yourself, what personal boundaries can I set that will help me align with and achieve those goals? And I want to share with you some ideas to get your creative juices flowing, okay? So the first one is, like, you don’t stay up past 9pm.

You don’t look at your phone or your computer after 6pm. You get up at the same time every day. You only eat organic or spray free food. You only use toxic free products in your home and on your temple. You only drink high quality water. You move your body every day. You meditate. You rest. They are some ideas for you to get your creative juices flowing.

And if you get stuck, try asking yourself these two questions. Number one, what sort of person do I need to become to achieve my goals? And number two, what sort of personal boundary would that person have? Okay? [00:10:00] So take yourself through this. with every area of your life, my friend. And once you’ve done it, share it with your partner, and you will have set yourself some very healthy boundaries in all these areas of your life, which only makes you live more in alignment with your true highest self.

And that is what we all need more of. Okay. So there you have it, a guide to setting healthy personal boundaries that aren’t just lines in the sand, but lifelines to your best, highest, most aligned self. Now these boundaries aren’t about confining you, they are about defining you. Think of them not as constraints, but as tools to unleash your greatest potential.

So take a moment now, grab your pen and paper or type in your phone and get started. I would love to hear what your healthy boundaries are in all areas of your life. So jump on over to Instagram at Melissa Rambrosini and tell me, I would love to hear from you and connect with you. And before I go, I [00:11:00] just wanted to say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you.

You rock. Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy, healthy is liberating and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.

P.S. If you’re looking for a high-impact marketing opportunity for your business and are interested in becoming a sponsor for The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, please email pr@melissaambrosini.com for more information.

P.P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.

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Hi Gorgeous, I'm Melissa.

Multiple bestselling author, #1 podcast host and TEDx speaker.



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