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What if the missing piece in your healing journey wasn’t another tool or strategy — but radical self-honesty?

In this vulnerable and deeply powerful conversation, I’m joined by my dear friend — best-selling author and spiritual teacher Gabby Bernstein (back for her third appearance on the show!) — to talk about her most revealing book yet, Self Help.

We go deep in this one. Gabby opens up about truths she’s never shared before, the outdated healing narratives she’s here to disrupt, and the life-changing power of getting real with yourself in order to truly transform.

Press play to discover: the personal insight Gabby shares in her new book (and why she’s finally ready to say it out loud), how to practice radical self-honesty (and why it changes everything), the essential difference between self-checks and inner child work, the best way to communicate with your partner, how to feel safe in your body and mind (and why that’s the real foundation for growth), how to show up energetically for your kids and your work, and what to do when you’re ready to heal… but your partner isn’t.

Gabby never fails to blow my mind — and this conversation is no exception. Expect mic-drop moments, practical strategies and powerful daily tools you’ll want to try immediately. 

So if you’re ready for real growth — the kind that feels grounded, honest, and deeply empowering — then press play now… this one’s for you.

About Gabby Bernstein

For more than eighteen years, Gabby Bernstein has been transforming lives — including her own. The #1 New York Times bestselling author has penned ten books, including Self Help (publishing December 31, 2024), The Universe Has Your Back, Super Attractor and Happy Days. 

Gabby was featured on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday as a “new thought leader.” The New York Times identified Gabby as “a role model for a new generation of spiritual seekers.” She is a regular guest on Good Morning America, Today and Live with Kelly and Mark, among other leading media outlets. In 2023 she launched the innovative ‘Gabby’ coaching app to democratize spiritual self-help and be your coach — anytime, anywhere.

In this episode we chat about:

• The most vulnerable truth she shares in Self Help — and why she finally felt ready to reveal it (3:25)
• The simple 4-step practice that can radically shift your day (4:35)
• How self-checks differ from inner child work (and when to use each one) (9:24)
• The outdated healing myths she’s calling out — and what needs to change in the self-help world (10:27)
• The powerful communication technique that will instantly improve your relationship (11:44)
• Why radical self-honesty is the key to deep personal transformation (13:39)
• Why it’s critical you feel safe in both your body and your mind (15:17)
• How to show up as your best self at home and work (16:08)
• The powerful practice that helped her rewrite the narrative of her past (17:55)
• The #1 tool she recommends for anyone starting out on a healing journey (23:28)
• What to do if you’re ready to heal… but your partner isn’t (25:11)
• The surprising manifestation practice she’s loving right now (26:25)
• Her personal definition of success — and why she’s intentionally seeking fun (28:18)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
• Gabby Bernstein (website)
• Gabby Bernstein (Instagram)
• Gabby Bernstein: Manifesting Masterclass (Get your tickets for Brisbane)
• Gabby Bernstein: Manifesting Masterclass (Get your tickets for Melbourne)
• Gabby Bernstein: Manifesting Masterclass (Get your tickets for Sydney)
• Self Help by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Judgment Detox: Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back from Living A Better Life by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Spirit Junkie: A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Miracles Now: 108 Life-Changing Tools for Less Stress, More Flow, and Finding Your True Purpose by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Add More Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness by Gabrielle Bernstein (book)
• Dear Gabby (Listen in Spotify)
• Gabby Bernstein: Biz & Motherhood & A World-First Announcement About Her New Book (podcast)
• Start Doing What You’ve Been Dreaming Of with Gabby Bernstein (podcast)
• The Key To Healing Trauma & Inner Peace with Dr. Richard Schwartz (podcast)
• Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming The Parent You Want To Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy (book)
• Make Money Easy: Create Financial Freedom and Live a Richer Life by Lewis Howes (book)

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The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

Melissa: [00:00:00] The Melissa Ambrosini Show. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, open, wide, comparisonitis and Time Magic. And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word. Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change.

Your own life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready? Beautiful. Beautiful. Hey, beautiful. Welcome back to the show. I’m so excited about this episode because I have Gabby Bernstein back on the show for her second time. Her first episode was episode 5 0 8. If you haven’t listened to that one, do yourself a favor and also listen to that episode after this one because it is amazing.

And for those of you that have never heard of her, she is incredible. She’s such a [00:01:00] lightworker in this world. And for more than 18 years, she has been transforming lives, including her own. She is a number one New York Times bestselling author and has penned 10 books, including her latest book, Self-Help, which is out right now.

Now the universe has your back. Super attractor and Happy Days are all some of her other amazing books. She was also featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday as a new thought leader, which is pretty incredible, and the New York Times identified Gabby as a role model for the new generation of spiritual seekers.

She’s a regular guest on Good Morning America Today, and live with Kelly and Mark among other leading media outlets. In 2023, she launched the Gabby coaching app, which is basically self-help and spirituality and having a coach in your pocket anytime, anywhere, which is pretty amazing. She also has her weekly podcast, dear Gabby, where she offers real-time coaching, straight talk and conversations about personal growth and spirituality.

Now, she had very humble [00:02:00] beginnings and she started hosting intimate conversations with about 20 people in her New York City apartment. And now she has grown to be speaking to tens of thousands of people in sold out venues throughout the world. She’s amazing. She’s such a light in this world, and I’m so excited for you guys to hear her for the second time.

Now, for everything we mention in today’s episode, you can check out in the show notes and that’s over@melissaambrosini.com slash 6 4 9. And you’ll also hear that she’s coming to Australia, and you can grab your tickets@melissaambrosini.com slash gabby, G-A-B-B-Y. You can head there and grab your tickets.

Now. Without further ado, let’s dive in and let’s bring on the incredible Gabby Bernstein.

Beautiful. Gabby, welcome back to the show. I’m so excited to have you here. But before we dive in, can you tell us what you had for breakfast this morning? 

Gabby: I have my everyday smoothie, so it’s [00:03:00] keefer, so like the yogurty, keefer protein powder, almond milk cord decept, lion’s mane, and L-glutamine powder. That sounds like mine.

And then I had a coffee Americano with steamed almond milk. What’s better than that? Yum. Delicious Breakfast of Champions. 

Melissa: Yeah. Yeah. Well, welcome back again. This is the second time you’ve been on the show. The first episode was episode 508, and I am so excited to have you back here to celebrate your 200th book.

I’m just joking, like, what number is this now? 10 Babe. You are amazing. Self-help. It is amazing. It is such a great book. I absolutely loved it. And you’ve said that this book is your most honest and revealing yet, so what was the most vulnerable truth that you shared in self-help? And what made you finally feel ready [00:04:00] to say it out loud?

Well, 

Gabby: I think that this one actually feels to me like. One of the greatest contributions because what I’m doing is I’ve taken this therapy that changed my life and helped me heal and gave me so much inner strength, and I’ve made it into a self-help practice and it’s a therapy called Internal Family Systems Therapy.

And so I’ve taken this world renowned trauma therapy that heals, heals people all throughout the world, and it made it easy for people to access. Wherever they are. They don’t have to have the therapist, although it’s very different experience with the therapist, and I think that throughout this I’ve also revealed a lot of my own truths that led me to this practice that led me to deeper recovery and deeper healing as a result of living this practice, which is a four step self-help check-in practice based on the principles of IFS therapy.

Melissa: Yes, I love it. Can you go through those four steps with us? Because I think. This is such a beautiful contribution. It is [00:05:00] such a gift to be able to give this to people to do whenever, wherever. Like you said, they don’t need a therapist, so anyone, no matter if you wanna spend the money on it or if you don’t like, it’s available to you.

So can you talk us through those four steps? 

Gabby: Sure. So in IFS, I’ll start first with what it, what we’re doing. So we all have these. Protection mechanisms that we are oftentimes judging, right? So parts of ourselves that we often are really most disappointed in. So the parts of ourselves that we feel are maybe addicted or beliefs of inadequacy or beliefs of not feeling good enough, or feeling unlovable or, or patterns that are somewhat destructive, like judgment or controlling or workaholism.

And these patterns that have probably been around for most of our lives. When I look at the destructive beliefs and patterns in your life, you could often say, if you ask, how long have you been around, you’re probably likely to say forever, as long as I can [00:06:00] remember. And these beliefs and patterns have really just been protecting us, and they’re really called protector parts.

And who are they protecting? They’re protecting us from the very, very young parts of ourselves, from moments in time, from our childhood when we experienced some type of trauma big to your small t. And it could have been a moment where you were bullied on the playground. It could have been attachment breach, it could have been an alcoholic parent.

It could have been abuse, whatever it was for each of us individually, doesn’t really matter, but all of us built up these. It matters only that, that we have this wound and the wound was not tended to. And so we built up a protection mechanism to never have to feel that wound again. And we built up many protection mechanisms.

And so, you know, some examples for me it was like the controller, like I lived, I grew up feeling very out of control, feeling like I didn’t have the support that I needed. And so I built up a belief that if I’m not in control, I’m not safe. That controller has been running my life for 45 years until up until [00:07:00] recently, you know?

So the work in this book is about relating to befriending and connecting to these beliefs and patterns. That have been running our lives so that we can help them soften and then establish a connection to ourself, our inner healer, our resourced, undamaged self. It’s like an internal parent that we all have inside.

And so the four steps that I guide you through are four steps of compassion, curiosity, connection, to give you a re new relationship to these aspects of yourself. In doing so, a new energy starts to be revealed, and that new energy that is revealed is self. It’s the truth of who you are. It’s your God nature, your Buddha nature, your love nature, your spiritual presence.

It’s the parent inside. It’s your inner coach, your inner healer, your inner guide. The steps are simple, so it’s like you notice that belief or thought that’s holding you back or pattern, right? The one that’s been around forever. [00:08:00] Instead of checking out and kinda like being like, I don’t wanna do that anymore.

You checking out with it. Like, I’m gonna go drink and pick up that pattern. I’m gonna go eat or I’m gonna avoid you. Check in. You choose. You choose to check in. That’s the first step. You focus your attention inward and you choose to check in with that part of yourself. And the second step is to become curious about it.

And so you start asking questions towards this part. So what do I know about you? Where do you live in my body? How long have you been around? Are there any thoughts or feelings or sensations connected to it? The third step is to compassionately connect to that part, and that’s where we might start to ask, what do you need?

And the final step is to notice the shift inside. And the shift inside is gonna be a feeling of calmness or a feeling of clarity or feeling of connection to the part or feeling of confidence might come forward. And courage. Creativity, all those energies of those see [00:09:00] qualities that self, that’s your higher self.

That’s the truth of who you are coming through. 

Melissa: I love that. It’s so simple and I feel like everyone should just write those four steps on a post-it note and stick it on your bathroom mirror or stick it on your computer somewhere where you can regularly see it and just have that reminder because it’s a daily practice, which you talk about and I talk about too.

It’s a daily practice. So I wanna know how is this different to like inner child healing work? Or is it very similar? 

Gabby: Well, it is healing your inner children. There’s lots of children inside. They all need our attention. They need our focus. There’s protection mechanisms. There’s many of them. And they need our focus.

They need our attention, they need our clarity, they need our compassion, they need our connection. And when we start to do that, we start to feel like there’s a trust inside. Self-trust, trusting that there’s a self inside that can help us. That’s why the book called Self-Help, it’s similar to different types of inner child work, but [00:10:00] it’s unique in that it’s about, it’s based on a therapy that’s really a divine therapy, particularly for trauma.

Melissa: Yeah. I’ve had Dr. Richard Schwartz on the podcast who created IFS, and it’s amazing. It’s been a game changer for me as well. When I first learned about it, I was like. Why does not everybody know about this? It’s so powerful. So I love that you are spreading this message. It’s so powerful. Now, in your book, it redefines how we see the journey of healing and growth.

So what outdated ideas in the self-help space did you feel called to disrupt? Ah, well 

Gabby: one that there. Isn’t that it’s some quick fix that we can just do with like a simple tool. I think it’s actually quite different. I think that it’s not a quick fix, it’s a daily small action. It’s daily inquiry. But that I could also take something that’s proven, that’s science backed.

Richard Dick Schwartz is a [00:11:00] very good friend of mine. He gave me the blessing of this book to be, you know, I really asked his permission like, can I take your work and democratize it? With his permission, it’s taking a a proven science backed approach to therapy that works and making it a tool that you can do for yourself.

Now, there’s a lot of self-help techniques that are effective, but they may not be as long lasting because they might be one little method or one quick trick or a quick breath practice. But this is about. But reorganizing the way you relate to these very afraid, scared young inner children inside of us.

Melissa: So when we are experiencing something, say it’s with our husband or you know, someone else, like for me with Nick, I will express to him like there’s a little part of me, an inner child, part of me that is feeling really hurt or scared [00:12:00] because of this. And. Having that terminology has literally transformed our relationship because we have stopped projecting our stuff onto each other, stopped blaming, stopped.

You know that whole, I’m like this because of you and blaming each other, and we are able now to take responsibility. So if someone doesn’t understand this. Can we share it with them or will they kind of look at us like, what are you talking about? Like what’s the best way to communicate? 

Gabby: Well, I think what you are describing is quite beautiful because you’re speaking for the part rather than as the part.

So you’re saying, Hey, Nick, a part of me is super activated right now. I might be acting out in X, Y, Z ways, but that’s because I’m feeling triggered or because there’s a young part that’s activated even in a, to take that to another level. Would be to check in with the part first and you find out what the part needs and try to give the part what it [00:13:00] needs, and then speak for the part, because then you’re already in self and you can even have more of a ground and state, or you might even be able to work it out for yourself before you even have to bring it to him.

And so the thing I would tell somebody who feels like they’re not there, I would just say, go read the book. Go practice the steps and be curious about it. Don’t try to force it, just be curious about it. Just be open to it. That’s it. Yeah. 

Melissa: Beautiful. I love that. And yeah, like you said, there’s so many times where I’ve just been able to resolve it within myself and I don’t even have to have a conversation with him, which is like the ultimate goal.

That’s self help, right? That’s self-help, yeah. Yeah. So you talk about getting real with yourself in order to heal, which I love. So what does radical self-honesty actually look like in practice, and why is this so essential for transformation? 

Gabby: Well, through the beginning of the book, I really helped the reader get honest to help the reader look at the patterns and [00:14:00] beliefs that are blocking them.

And then for, you know, for most people they come to me and they wanna learn how to manifest and they wanna learn how to attract what they desire. But I really have a chapter in the book is that’s all about how we manifest what we believe and the core, it’s called core beliefs. And when we don’t tend to the core beliefs that are blocking our manifestation.

We’ll never really attract what we desire. We might maybe attract something, but then we won’t keep it because we won’t believe that it’s, that we’re worthy of it. In fact, let me see if I have a copy of the book right here. I would read that part. I’ll just describe it. So pretty much what it would say is you might be going and trying to attract that desire and you know it comes into your life and it then goes away, or you keep be hitting a, a roadblock.

Why? Because we manifest what we believe. So this practice is about healing the core beliefs. And in doing so, we start to feel different. We start to feel more courageous. We start to feel more confident, we feel more calm. We feel clarity. We feel creative energy that all that [00:15:00] self energy is the energy that attracts more self energy.

So the secret to manifesting is to get into self, and that’s why this book is my greatest manifesting book, even though it might not. At face value. That’s what it’s about, but it really, it’s the absolute greatest of all for manifesting. I love 

Melissa: that. You talk a lot about internal safety, so why is feeling safe in our body and our mind the true foundation for any kind of growth?

Gabby: Well, so much of our life is just living in this reactive state of protection. And so we bounce from trigger to protector, and it’s a really shitty way to live because we feel at all times kind of like a burdened by the world or burdened by these patterns and destructive behaviors and sort of ways of acting out.

And we just, we, it really takes us down. And so I, I believe that. That this process of tending to the inner world is the way to establish freedom [00:16:00] and harmony inside. And that inner harmony is what the goal is really. That’s the inner that that’s the goal. Yeah, 

Melissa: absolutely. And I feel like with children as well, like they tune into our energy.

Like I just had my second baby. Congratulations. Did you just have the baby? Like when? Four months ago. Yes, 

Gabby: you’ve got the glow. 

Melissa: So I feel like with my energy literally dictates the energy of the home. Like the mother is the heartbeat of the home. So it’s my responsibility to do this work for the peace and the harmony in this home.

But there’s times where I’m like, oh my gosh, it feels like such a weight and so much for me to do as a mother, working mother. What would you say to that? I would say that. 

Gabby: Do the best you can because it’s not an easy time when their child is so young and there’s two children and you’re working. So I think that [00:17:00] the first thing would be to really let yourself off the hook and to do the best you can and to check your hormones regularly, and to check your mood regularly and to be really on top of that because it’s a very fragile time postpartum and your hormones are all over the fucking place.

And the best advice I wish I’d given myself, or I wish I’d had postpartum. Supposed to check my hormones because your progesterone and your estrogen is just stinks. And it’s just, that’s what, where, that’s a lot of the reasons for depression and for anxiety and insomnia and all of that. So I just want you to keep that in mind.

And then, you know, just keep, keep it simple, right? So do the practices that are accessible, that are easy for grounding your energy and keeping you feeling safe because. There is a lot of pressure to be the energy of the home, but it’s also a time to rely on your partner even more and to ask for help and to get the support that you need and to take the time that you need when you can and keep it simple.

I think that’s the biggest thing. Keep it simple. 

Melissa: Yeah. There’s a little part of me that in this season of my life, [00:18:00] yes, I know I want to reach out to Nick more, lean on him more, ask for more, and then there’s a part of me that’s like, you should be able to do all this on your own. 

Gabby: That’s the part you would check in with.

So that’s the part, that’s a young part that’s been around for how long? Probably since I was like six. Right? Very young. Do you wanna check in with that part? With me? Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s do it. Okay. So we’ve already done the first step, which is to choose to check in. You said, yeah, let’s do it. So that’s choice.

And focusing your attention inward. Choose to check in with that. That 6-year-old part that’s kind of like. But I gotta do it all. And from a scale of zero to 10, how high is it right now? 10 being the highest. An eight to eight. Okay, great. That’s the plot to work with. That’s great. Okay. So focusing your attention inward towards that part.

Notice the second step is curiosity. So notice where it lives in your body and just let me know. Chest, [00:19:00] like upper chest, heel, upper chest. Yeah. And are there any other images or sensations connected to it? No. Are there any thoughts or memories or storylines that you wanna reveal that, that are connected to this part right now?

Melissa: Yeah. It’s my mom. She did everything for everyone else. Put everyone else before herself. Okay. 

Gabby: And the little, I mean, know that this is a young part that’s six years old. Anything else that it wants us to know? It’s actually saying, it doesn’t have to be this way. So you have a lot of connection to the part right now.

So that’s the sign to me that we can go to the third step, which is to compassionately connect to this little girl inside. And I want you to ask her, what does she need? Love and support. Nice. She needs love and support. Nice. Okay. Place your hand on your chest where you feel hurt. Take a deep breath into that space [00:20:00] and let that go.

Take another nice deep breath into that space. Let that part, let that release. Does she know that you’re here? Yeah. Nice. Now, how do you feel? She’s saying 

Melissa: like, can you really let it go? Like it’s so deeply rooted, can you 

Gabby: really let it go? Okay. So she’s a little cautious. She’s a little cautiously optimistic.

That’s expected. Nice. Does she feel connected to you right now? 

Melissa: Not so much. 

Gabby: How do you feel towards her? I feel like I 

Melissa: could definitely give her more love. 

Gabby: Okay. Do you feel compassion towards her? Yeah. Yeah. Compassion and love. Do you feel, so you want more connection? Yeah. Yeah. And do you feel curious to know a little bit more about her?

If she wanted to reveal more? Oh, cool. Feels [00:21:00] scary. Okay. That’s okay. Not now. We’ve got curiosity, we’ve got compassion, and we’ve got connection. Feel a little bit more calm in this moment. Zero to 10. Where are you with this feeling and this connection? Like a six to come down from an eight to a six. Nice.

And do you have a little bit more clarity about her? 

Melissa: Yeah, she just is saying that’s what you witnessed and were was modeled that women do 

Gabby: it all on their own. Would you be open to making a commitment to her to just check in with her for like a moment, a day, one minute, two minutes a day? Yeah, definitely the four steps.

Okay, nice. All right, so let’s let her know that and thank her for her courage to connect to us today. And is there anything you wanna let her know before we give her a break? Just that I love her and I’m here for her. Nice, nice, nice. So let that [00:22:00] message sink in. Take a deep breath. When you’re ready, you can just relax and open your eyes.

Beautiful, beautiful. So the compassion and the connection itself, and it’s. Very beautiful that it’s slow, it’s a titrating. You know, you’re not gonna be able to like rip off the bandaid and be like, we’re fully exposed and feel better today. It’s just checking in frequently and the more you check in, the more you let her know that help self is inside and you let her know that self can help and you can calm her in those moments because you are the inner parent that she’s been waiting for.

You’re the one she’s been waiting for. 

Melissa: What if she’s very judgmental? Like what if there’s a lot of judgment? Do we just keep going through that process? That’s another part so you could check in with the judgment. It’s such powerful [00:23:00] work. It’s quite simple, yet so powerful and profound and takes time and yeah, I just love it.

I love that it’s. A little check-in. That can go a long way. 

Gabby: Yeah, a little check-in. That can go a long way. That’s a good Amazon review. Gimme an Amazon review with that one. A little check-in. That can go a long way. Yeah. 

Melissa: It’s so powerful. It’s so powerful. You’ve done so much work, gab, like you have been in this space for so long, for someone who’s just like starting their journey.

Would this be the tool that you give them or is there anything else? 

Gabby: Oh yeah. Nice question. Well, I don’t know. I think this is definitely a great place to start if you’re really willing and you’re like, because I think that you can, you start where you’re willing to start. So. You also will [00:24:00] read it when you need it.

So you wouldn’t even open this book if you weren’t ready for it, because even just at face value, the word self-help might freak you out, right? So it’s a book for the willing, it’s a book for the folks. It says, this is your chance to change your life. So that may be intriguing. Maybe you open up and you just read the book.

Maybe you practice the steps. It’s absolutely applicable to anyone who’s brand new on their path, but I think that. They, that person may also find their way to another one of my books because it feels more, a little bit more of a relaxed process, or it feels a little bit more spiritually aligned rather than therapeutically aligned.

So I think that I. Trust what you’re guided to when you’re first starting out on your spiritual path. Trust the teachers that you’re guided to trust. What comes up in your algorithm, like the universe is guiding you. So you know, if you’re listening to Melissa, like that’s because you’re resonating with Melissa.

1. Or if you listen to one of these episodes and you’re like, wow, that thing that they talked about was so major for me, then don’t, don’t be surprised if you see that book pop up on your Amazon tomorrow, and then [00:25:00] it’s gonna keep showing up until you show up for it. So just present yourself and just really the simplest first step is to be willing to just receive guidance and willing to heal.

That’s it. 

Melissa: What is your advice for someone listening who is diving in, they’re loving this, they wanna do the work, but their partner may not be. Is there anything we can do besides lead by example and be the embodiment of what we’re talking about? Is there anything else that we can do to inspire our partner to also do this work?

Gabby: The best way to inspire somebody to do this work is to do this work on your own. Because you know your friends and your people are gonna look at you and be like, what the hell are they doing? I did this 21 day challenge inside my app right now, it’s called the Trust the Universe Challenge. And I’m doing it.

I’m on day eight and like the craziest shit is happening. Like the most wild synchronicities, the most amazing universal support has been [00:26:00] flooding in and I’ve been telling my team about it, blah, blah. And they’re like. Oh yeah, we should be doing that too. Like they designed it. They made it, and I’m like, yeah, get the fuck in there guys.

You know? And so it, it’s one of those, it’s like attraction, not promotion. You know? That’s what the greatest method messages in a 12 step is attraction, not promotion. And so just be it. Just be it. You don’t have to promote it or shout it from the rooftops, just be it. 

Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. Can you share one of the manifestations that has come into your world since doing your challenge?

Gabby: Just yesterday was like the universe was like, it was day eight for me, and it was spiritual proof to start looking for the spiritual proof from the universe, and I didn’t have to look very far. Some starts the day, like I’m driving into my apartment in the city and I like get a parking spot and the exact visualization I had of the exact spot that I went like pulled right in.

It was like effortless. And I went to, I was staying in a hotel later in the week and it was like the, I showed up and I was like, Hey, I would, can I get an upgrade? And they’re like, you already got, we already gave you one. And I was like, amazing. Okay. Then, [00:27:00] you know, a few hours later I was sitting in the coffee shop and I sat down and I’ve been like really wanting the universe to send me more support.

And so then this message comes in and it’s like, we would like to pay you this ridiculous amount of money just to show up at this event that I would’ve gone to anyway. Okay. So just these little moments of winks from the universe. And then I’d had this one really strong. I’m re-releasing the universe as your back in May.

And it’s being rereleased with a new cover and a new forward. It’s, you know, all coming up on 10 years. And so we pitched some media around it and there was one placement we really wanted, but I was like, whatever, you know, trust the universe. Like it’s really more just like the universe gimme support and carrying my message.

So then today I’m on the call with my chief of staff and she’s like, holy shit like that came in, you know, and like along the way more came in and it’s just not. It’s not about the things that are happening exactly as I planned, but it’s actually better than I planned. Like things that are far better than I planned.

But it’s winks from the universe saying, you are supported. You are not doing this alone. You have a mission. You want support. You’re tuning in every day. You’re asking for help. You’re [00:28:00] asking, and it is given. That’s the vibe. That’s the whole thing. So the trust, the universe challenge. Wow, it works. I gotta tell you.

Melissa: I’ll link to it in the show notes ’cause I definitely wanna do it like that. Sounds amazing to have all of those little synchronicities and those little winks from the universe. I love that so much. Tell me, at this stage of your life, you’re married, successful business, you got a beautiful boy. How old is he now?

Eight. Six. Six. So what is your definition of success now for this season of your life? 

Gabby: I define my success based on how much fun I’m having. If I’m not having fun, I failed. 

Melissa: I agree. How do you bring more fun to your everyday life? Like what do you do? Is this something you actively seek out? Actively pursue?

Tell me. I. 

Gabby: I’ve been really active about bringing more joy into my life. So I’m doing, I do two therapy sessions a week. I’ve got a parenting coach. I’ve got [00:29:00] my self-help practice, I’ve got my spiritual practice. I’ve got my morning routine of just waking up and just offering everything up to the universe and just focusing on what everything that’s working and thriving in my life.

I meditate with my cat, which is really like real resonance. Like when you meditate with a pur, it’s like wild. I need to do a meditation where I record her and then bring it in. I think it’s so powerful. I’m exercising wildly. I’m in perimenopause, so I’m on HRT, so I’m taking hormones to really support my brain and my body, and that’s very effective for me.

I’m very mindful of that. I’m eating all the protein, lifting heavy weights, exercising, walking multiple times a day, just doing everything I can do to just optimize and maximize my, my, my joy and my wellbeing. Beautiful. I love 

Melissa: it. So what is bringing you the most joy in your life right now? I. 

Gabby: I think being with folks, like being with the audience members and so I’ve been on my tour, I’m coming to Australia, I’m coming to Sydney and Brisbane and Melbourne in May, the [00:30:00] second week in May.

And I think being like being back on stage and being with folks to just see the transformation live in the room and to be the expression of that work, it’s my greatest joy. 

Melissa: Yeah. Yep. You are powerful on stage. I love coming to your events. Now, let’s pretend you have a magic wand and you could put one book in the school curriculum of every high school around the world.

So for that 16, 17 year olds, and it’s for females and males, would you recommend self-help for them? So pick one of yours and one of someone else’s. 

Gabby: Probably self-help would be the book that I’d put in there for them. Definitely. And someone else’s book. Let’s see. Good inside. Dr. Becky’s good inside. Even though it’s for parents, I think that it, that kids need to read that remembering how good they are inside.

Melissa: Oh, I love that. I’ve not read that. I’m definitely going to check that out. I have a parenting coach as well, and I think as the child grows, like there’s different things that you are moving through like, and right now, like I need to actually have a session with mine [00:31:00] because I’m really struggling with.

How, you know the dynamic where Bambi has had me to herself for almost four years, and then you bring another child in and most of the time it’s all good. And there’s times where she’s like, I want you and I’m trying to put my son down. I want you to put me to bed, mama. And I’m just like, I need advice on how I handle that situation in the best way.

Gabby: Yeah. Yeah, I mean based on my, what I’ve been studying for Dr. Becky, it’s just telling her I believe you and I see you, and I know you need me. And I hear you. Like I really get that. And in this moment I’m gonna take, I’m gonna put the baby down, but I am always here. The words, I believe you. I believe you is really big.

I believe you. 

Melissa: Yeah. That’s so beautiful. So beautiful. And I definitely have not done that in moments I’m like. I’ll be there in a second and I’ve lost it. And it’s [00:32:00] just like, 

Gabby: that’s okay. You just repair, you know? Well, you’re gonna lose it. That’s normal. You’re also postpartum. Like you’re good. That’s okay.

You’re gonna lose it. 

Melissa: Yeah, that’s it. And I get into bed and I pray for her forgiveness and I repair with her always. And I just send her so much love and trust that daddy’s got it handled. Exactly. Exactly. It’s been beautiful actually, to watch their relationship deepen even more. Oh yeah, it will. It really will.

Yeah. Okay. What is your current routine? Talk us through a quote unquote typical day in your life. I wanna know all the things you do. I love hearing about the little biohacks. Go for it. 

Gabby: Well, in this moment I’m working on three different time zones. I’m working, well, four actually, I’m working on like British time with my chief of staff.

I’m eastern time, Western time with my marketing team and then like now Australia time. So I’m like kind of spanning the day. But I do wake [00:33:00] up and express tremendous connection and, and align with the divine guidance that is within me and around me every day. And then I do my smoothie, which I shared. I walk after every meal for 10, 15 minutes.

I usually walk uphill on an incline, wear a weighted vest. When I cook, I, I do a lot of weird things. I sweat every day. Most days in the sauna, I hydrate. I take lots of great supplements and foods. I’m really trying to optimize my health. I’m about to put on a glucose monitor and track that so I can get a good handle on what’s spiking my glucose and.

Yeah, I wind down usually around the same time my son is winding down, so we do, like, our bedtime is almost at the same time. I go to bed like an hour after him, so I’ll go, I’ve got about 15 minutes before he goes to bed, so I’m gonna say goodbye to you and go up there and, you know, and then I do a lot of biohacking before bed red light compression boots.

I, I’m just like a, I’m like literally like a cliche Instagram girl who’s like doing all the things that you would do to optimize, but I’m doing it for. [00:34:00] Predominantly for hormonal balance and fucking feeling good at 45, you know, 

Melissa: whatever works and all of those things. They’re so good for you. So yeah, do what feels good.

Yeah. And if you can 

Gabby: do one thing, if you could just walk every day, that’s perfect. You know, I’m frankensteining myself back together. I went into perimenopause a year ago and just like literally the shit hit the fan. Like I get tsunamis with hormonal things like tsunamis and just test your hormones, you know?

Melissa: I heard you on another podcast talking about how you get your lessons in tsunamis, and I loved that so much because I was like, I feel like the same for me. Like some people get these like little nudges from the universe. Like I get the semi trailer, like I get the 

Gabby: Yeah, yeah. We’re equipped to handle it.

Yeah, exactly. 

Melissa: Yeah. Okay, let’s wrap up with three rapid fire so you can get to your baby. Well, he’s not a baby, but he’s still your baby. He’s my baby. Yeah, he’s your baby. So let’s do it. What is one [00:35:00] thing we can do for our health today? Just one walk. Beautiful. What’s one thing we can do for our wealth?

Read my friend Louis House’s book Make Money Easy. Haven’t read it yet. Sounds amazing. And what’s one thing we can do for more love in our life? 

Gabby: Self-help. Check in the four steps. 

Melissa: Yeah. 

Gabby: Beautiful. 

Melissa: This has been so amazing. Is there anything else you wanna share with us or any last parting words of wisdom?

Gabby: I just wanna welcome everybody in Australia to join me live May. I’m gonna be in Brizzy, I’m gonna be in Sydney. I’m gonna be in Mels. Is that what you say? Mels Melbourne. I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be all over your country, and I’m coming a long way, and so I wanna invite people to join me. And right now we’re doing something really beautiful, which is when you buy your ticket, you get a $270 digital course.

We’re doing for people because I’m doing a whole course. I have a course on releasing the blocks to your manifesting so that when you show up, you’re primed for [00:36:00] this workshop that we’re gonna do together. So dear gabby.com/events, all the events, all the details for those events are there, and I just wanna invite as many people to be with me in the room when I come that far and be with you.

So I hope you can come. 

Melissa: Yes. It’s gonna be so fun. I’m so excited for it. You are helping. You are serving, you are supporting so many people. So what can we do today to give back to you? 

Gabby: I just carry the message about the event. You know, I think that for me, I wanna be able to touch as many souls as I can in the room at one time.

And so just tell your friends, come show up. If you can’t afford it, email support@gabbybernstein.com. We can work something out for you. Just catch your but in the seat. 

Melissa: Beautiful. I’m so excited to be there to see you again. It’s just gonna be so amazing. The energy in the room is always beautiful. So thank you for being here and for coming back on the show again, and for all the work that you do, you are such a delight and a delight in this world.

Gabby: I love you. Sweet. 

Melissa: Enjoy that, baby. [00:37:00] I will. Thank you darling. Bye. My love.

That was amazing. I hope you got so much out of this conversation. Please dive deep into this part’s work. It is a game changer. It will change your relationship with yourself and others. Dive into it. Grab her book. Listen to my other episode with Gabby, and also Dr. Richard Schwartz, who created the Internal Family Systems and dive into this part’s work.

It is powerful stuff. So if you love this conversation and you got a lot out of it, please subscribe to the show and leave me a review on Apple Podcasts if you haven’t already. And when you do, send me a screenshot of your review to Hello at Melissa Ambrosini and I will send you my wildly wealthy guided meditation for free.

As a little thank you for taking the time to leave me a review. Now come and tell me on Instagram at Melissa Amini, what you got from this episode. I love [00:38:00] connecting with you and hearing from you. Now before I go, I wanna say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest, and the happiest version of yourself, and for showing up today for you.

You rock. Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy.

Healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

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