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Why is it that the person we love the most can also trigger us the most?!
Why is it so easy for relationships to get derailed by petty arguments and bickering?
And how can we get back on the same page as our partner, so that we can experience more of that divine, aligned, heart-bursting love and happiness we all dream of?
To answer these questions, I’m joined by Bruce Muzik — a.k.a. the ‘Couples Whisperer’, a world renowned coach who’s built a reputation as being the guy that marriage therapists refer their toughest clients to.
Tune in to discover his genius “broken toes” concept (and how Nick and I have used it in our own marriage), the real reason why relationships fall apart, what you should do BEFORE you communicate with your partner, how to get your partner to open up (even if they tend to shut down and withdraw), his personal experience with cheating, a beautiful technique to avoid misunderstandings and silly arguments, how your childhood can be secretly impacting your adult relationships, and the #1 mindset shift that virtually *guarantees* more connection and growth in your relationship.
About Bruce Muzik
Bruce Muzik is the founder of Love At First Fight. With more than 25 years of coaching experience under his belt, he is known as “The Couples Whisperer” (although his marriage advice is rarely whispered).
Direct experience working with thousands of couples — from Hollywood movie directors to NFL Football Players — has confirmed his belief that even “hopeless case” relationships can be saved with a dose of loving connection.
His TEDx talk has more than 3 million views and he has been featured on the BBC and Financial Times to name a few.
In this episode we chat about:
- The hilarious moment that led Bruce to become a relationship repair expert (02:57)
- Feel like your relationship has lost its spark? Try THIS mindset shift to switch into growth mode (05:12)
- Are your childhood experiences of attachment and trauma secretly impacting your adult relationships? (13:01)
- His genius ‘broken toes’ method, and why it’s so important for a healthy relationship (25:18)
- The main reason why communication falls apart — and how to avoid these pitfalls in your own relationship (33:50)
- The single most effective way to overcome misunderstandings and bickering (this technique is SO powerful) (37:55)
- The life-changing books that everyone should read before getting into a romantic relationship (48:34)
Episode resources:
- FREE Relationship Help Course ‘Stop Fighting, Start Connecting & Get On The Same Page Together’ (course)
- Love At First Fight (website)
- Getting The Love You Want Workbook by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt (book)
- Keeping the Love You Find by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt (book)
- Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch (book)
Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.
P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.
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I loved this episode so much Melissa! Thank you. xxx
Pleasure honey. How awesome is Bruce! What are your biggest takeaways?
The ‘broken toes’ analogy is SO amazing and makes so much sense. I am married to my husband and soul mate/best friend (we have been together since college)…but we definitely have some broken toes! Also loved how there are different types of partners (I am the chameleon/he is a wolf) And I also loved the ‘naming’ of the fight (e.g. car bomb!) to diffuse it a bit before it happens and escalates. I also loved his little ritual of just making coffee for his wife. That is actually how I started drinking coffee later in my life. I was taking sips off of my husband’s coffee years ago (because he made it so good) and he started making me a little cup in the mornings on our days off. Now I get my own, but I told him about it and this morning he actually brought me my coffee and he made it with my almond milk and stevia…and knew it would make me happy! It is the little things for us…xxoo The whole podcast was so amazing! Thank you both for sharing so openly and honestly. Helps so much.
Oh honey I am so glad you loved it and it resonated so deeply. I loved it too and have implemented many of his tips and it’s been amazing for Nick and I. We have to keep working on our relationship if we want it to grow. Well done you for doing the work. So proud of you honey. xx
Oh My Gosh! Thank you so much Melissa for sharing this. I was in complete awe and loved listening to every second of this conversation with Bruce. I agree whole heartedily that this is so important to teach this to high school students or even earlier from the age of 7. We carry around our inner child wounds and unknowingly pass them onto our children and end up with so much emotional baggage to unpack because we were unaware of the “broken toes” we have until we are in our 40’s and 50’s and have a divorce under our belt, something that might have been prevented had we known these wonderful tools and insights about ourselves and how to navigate the problems. I love your concept of CCC and how important it is to first feel connected. I am so fascinated by human design and attachment theory that now I find myself wanting to reach out and help others, especially when I hear conversations about relationships. Most people do not understand why they are being triggered or can appreciate the gift that has been bestowed upon them, the mirror that is reflected back at them within the container of their relationships. It is easier for them to blame the other person (especially if they are a narcissist) and run away, end the relationship and then they wonder why the same things keep popping up in future relationships, rather then looking within and going deep, working through their wounds.
Exactly honey. I’m so glad you loved this conversation as much as I did. We have to keep showing up and doing the work on our relationships so they grow and thrive. Well done you for doing the work. xx