Blocking Your Success

The 3 Imaginary Rules That Are Blocking Your Success







  1. How the rule of permanence is blocking you from true fulfillment ⛔
  2. What most people get wrong about confidence
  3. Why being liked is overrated (and what to aim for instead) ✅


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Are you living your life according to imaginary rules? 

Are you operating under assumptions about ‘how life works’ that simply aren’t true?

If so, you’re not alone.

So many people are unwittingly following a set of self-imposed “rules”, without ever realizing that:

  1. These rules aren’t real, and
  2. They’re blocking them from success.

There’s good news though: 

If your mind can create these rules, it can also dismantle them.

So let’s talk about how to do that by examining 3 of the most common imaginary rules I see in my coaching clients…

Imaginary Rule #1: The Rule of Misguided Commitment

How This Shows Up: “It’s Too Late To Change Course, I’d Better Keep Going”

Many of us feel locked into the path we’ve chosen – whether it’s in our career, our business, our relationships, or something else.

We think, “I’ve invested so much time and energy here; I can’t change direction now.” 

But the journey to success is rarely a straight line, and sticking with something that’s not lighting you up (or worse, that’s actively sucking the life out of you) isn’t doing you any favors.

Break this rule by listening to your truth, embracing impermanence, and accepting that growth is not linear. 

Remember: it’s not just “okay” to change tack as you learn more about yourself, it’s actually the fastest path to fulfillment.


Hot tip: Beware of Sunk Cost Bias. Are you hesitating to change course because you fear that if you do, you’ll have “wasted your time”? This is a classic example of the sunk cost bias — the idea that you should continue doing something simply because you’ve already invested in it. But here’s the thing: time that’s passed and resources that have been spent cannot be recovered, and they shouldn’t dictate your future decisions. The key is to make choices based on what promises the best outcome moving forward, not on recouping past investments. So give yourself permission to let go of what is no longer serving you — even if it’s been part of your life for a long time. It may take guts, but doing so will open the door to new opportunities that align better with your current goals and aspirations.

Imaginary Rule #2: The Rule of Total Confidence

How This Shows Up: “I Must Feel 100% Ready Before I Start” 

Waiting until you feel fully prepared and 100% confident BEFORE you do something is like waiting to get wet before you jump into a pool. It’s backwards. 

The truth is, confidence is a result of action, not a prerequisite. 

Successful people didn’t start something because they felt “ready”; they started because they were willing to learn and adapt along the way. 

This willingness to step into the unknown is what leads to high level success and personal growth. 

So embrace the idea that readiness comes from taking action towards your goals, not from endlessly waiting on the sidelines. 

Every step, no matter how tiny, builds the very confidence that you’re seeking.

Imaginary Rule #3: The Rule of Universal Approval

How This Shows Up: “I Need Everyone To Like Me” 

The harsh reality? 

Not everyone is going to like you, no matter what you do. Even the most admired people in the world still have “haters”.

So instead of stressing out over what other people think of you, why not fully embrace being yourself? 

Being authentically you is not only less stressful, it also sets you up for real success. It’s what makes you remarkable, irreplaceable and truly unique. 

The next time you catch yourself trying to be more ‘palatable’ so as not to offend anyone, remember this: being liked isn’t as important as being true to yourself. Your own approval is what really counts.

The Bottom Line

These imaginary rules aren’t just barriers; they’re mirages. They seem real until you examine them closely and realize that they were all smoke and mirrors in the first place.

So which of these rules have you been following? 

More importantly, which are you ready to break? 

Let’s shake off these invisible shackles and step boldly into a future where we consciously and intentionally define our own rules.

You’ve got this, Beautiful! ✨

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Til next time, sending so much love,

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Hi Gorgeous, I'm Melissa.

Multiple bestselling author, #1 podcast host and TEDx speaker.



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