Closing off. Shutting down. Sliding into the dark. Hanging out in fear town with your Mean Girl. Feeling like the walls are caving in on you. Life all of a sudden feels really tough, like everything’s against you. Nothing flows. Small things become burdensome. Your shoulders feel weighted. Your muscles are tense and rigid. It’s cold and lonely. Your throat is tight. Life is effortful, hard and scary. This is what it feels like when we close down.
When we shut off our life force and choose fear instead of love. It’s not fun. Actually it sucks—big time! But there’s an alternative… Expansive. Open. Light. Effortless. Juicy. Free. Calm. Joyful. Golden. This is what it feels like when you choose love. Love is our birth right. Our natural state. Yet so often, we shy away from it. We close down completely because it’s the easier path. The path that we’re used to. But let me tell you, although it might feel normal to close off, it sure is not natural.
The choice is yours. And you will be tested. Time and time again. Like everything, choosing love takes work. Choosing love over fear is a practice that you need to commit to. Daily! However, I invite you to begin to see the fun in it. See it as a game. “Oh goodie, another opportunity to choose love when I would normally close off.” This is the work. It needs to be done daily in order for us to grow and evolve. It’s uncomfortable, I know. But we must be willing to shimmy through the discomfort in order to get to the other side, because on the other side is evolution.
Normal and natural are two different things. It is normal to choose fear, but it isn’t natural.
One of the common ones I see is us ladies closing off in our relationships. Something doesn’t go our way, we get disappointed, we have an expectation hangover then we close down. Shutting out our love and the world. When this happens I want you to remember this saying, nothing good comes from closing, ever. Let that be your guiding mantra back home to yourself.
When I am tested, I play the game. If I feel that old familiar urge to close off, run away and shut down, I consciously choose a different path. Instead, I open my chest, drop my shoulders, and vision a white (or golden) light beaming out from the center of my heart. I repeat to myself, “Now is the time to open up, beautiful. Go on, you can do it.” I sit in silence, eyes closed and let the feeling wash through me. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But what’s more uncomfortable is hanging out in fear town with my Mean Girl. Don’t be scared to sit in it, it’s all part of the process. And remember, “this too shall pass.”
Next time you want to shut down and sip martini’s with your Mean Girl, I invite you to open up instead. You won’t believe the difference this one, tiny shift can have on your life.
Do you have any helpful tips for when you shut down? I would love to hear them, so share with us in the comments below.
Thank you so much for the insights you leave in the comments. Reading them really warms my heart.