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Have you ever felt like a dark cloud is hanging over your head? Or like a heavy weight is on your shoulders? Or perhaps you can relate to that stomach-churning feeling of being weighed down by fear?
If any of these sound familiar, join the club sister!
All of us experience ruts from time to time — it’s part of the natural ebb and flow of life. However, when you’re bogged down in one yourself, it can be easy to believe that you’re all alone, and that everyone else has their shizzle together while you’re the only one struggling in Fear Town.
Let me be the one to tell you that that’s simply not true! Today, with social media and the interwebs, it’s easy to believe that other people’s lives are ‘perfect’. After all, most people only share their highlight reel with the rest of the world, so it’s easy to convince yourself that others never experience anything but overflowing joy and ecstatic happiness. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone — including me — experiences anger, frustration, sadness, and grief at times. I’ve definitely been stuck in my fair share of ruts, sometimes to the point where it feels like I’m buried in a deep, dark hole and can’t get out. But over the years I’ve gotten better and better at pulling myself out of those not-so-fun ‘down’ times thanks to these 13 super-powerful tools to bust out of a rut…
1. Have A Pity Party Dance Off
If you’re down in the dumps, it’s important not to dismiss how you’re truly feeling. But it’s also super important that you don’t hang out in Fear Town with your Mean Girl for too long. Throwing yourself a pity party dance off is a great way to acknowledge the emotions coursing through you, and quickly process and release them so you can swiftly move back into the present.
2. Remember, This Too Shall Pass
When you are stuck in an all-consuming rut, it can feel enormous — like the ground is going to open up and swallow you whole. But reminding yourself that ‘this too shall pass’ can be incredibly powerful. Sometimes, if I’m having a particularly icky time, I’ll even write it on a Post-it note and stick it on my computer, that way I can be reminded of it all day long.
3. Get Outside Into Nature
One of the quickest ways I have found to get out of a funk is to get outside and connect with Mother Nature. Her divine healing powers physically change the biochemistry of your body. Take off your shoes and walk barefoot on the grass or sand, breathe deeply, and let yourself connect with her.
4. Meditate
I know the last thing you feel like doing when you’re in a rut is sitting and meditating, but after years and years of practice, I can tell you this: I have never once regretted a meditation… EVER! Even those times when I have had to drag my butt to my meditation cushion kicking and screaming. In fact, they are usually the most potent, ground-breaking sessions, where your heart expands and true growth happens.
We all get stuck in a rut sometimes, it’s how you bust of it that counts.
5. Dive Into The Ocean
Similar to point #3, there is something so healing about diving into the fresh water and washing away all your worries. The ocean is incredibly cleansing. When I dive under the first wave, I visualise any worries, stressors, fears or concerns literally washing over and away from me. The power of visualisation and Mother Nature combined is truly dynamite.
6. Laugh With A Child
I know that when I can find the awareness to stop, be present and laugh with a child, no matter how dark the rut I am in, it always subsides. Never underestimate the power of laughter, it’s the best (and cheapest) medicine.
7. Move Your Tush
Exercise releases endorphins (the feel-good hormones), which are exactly what you need rushing through your body if you’re feeling funky. So get your body moving. Whether it’s yoga, pilates, boxing, a walk or jumping on a rebounder, just shake it out and move your buns. I love pumping this song really loud and dancing my heart out in my lounge room. Give it a go — you won’t be disappointed.
8. Open Up
Nothing good comes from closing off. Your Mean Girl will tell you to stay closed off but the best way to move through any icky-ness is to open that big, beautiful heart of yours. It will feel scary. You will feel incredibly vulnerable. But on the other side of that is growth.
9. Talk To Someone
I personally prefer to go inward and work on my ‘stuff’ for myself, however there are times when talking it out with someone you love and trust — like a coach, healer, partner or soulie (soul sister) — can be very helpful. They may even help shine some light on something you weren’t aware of. However, tune in with yourself and do what feels right for you. If talking to someone doesn’t feel intuitively right in your bones then don’t do it.
10. Soak Up Some Soul Fuel
I am constantly reading, listening to podcasts and watching inspiring videos like The Goddess Group On Demand, to keep my motivation high and creativity flowing. I find when I stop doing these things creativity, inspiration and motivation dry up. The good thing is it only takes one video to bust you out of that rut and get you back on your path.
11. Have A Bath
I love mixing coconut oil, clay, essential oils and epsom salts in a bath and soaking my worries away. Try not taking anything into the bath with you — no book or phone — and just close your eyes, breathe, and let your worries melt away.
12. Make Love
Like connecting with Mother Nature, making sweet love to your partner can literally change the biochemistry in your cells. Those times when you don’t want to open up and be vulnerable are usually the times you need to do it most. Stay open and present and feel your body chemistry lift and your cells start to dance.
13. Journal It Out
Uncensored writing really helps me get clarity and lifts me out of my funks. Remember, no one is going to read it, so open your heart and write from a space of truth. It’s incredibly therapeutic and great for your soul.
So there you have it — my top 13 tools for busting yourself right outta that rut. Next time you’re feeling crappy, or like a dark cloud is hanging over you, try one of these techniques and watch the weight of heaviness subside. And remember, happiness is a choice — your choice — and you can choose to suffer or choose to live. It’s up to you, beautiful.
Now I would LOVE to hear from you. What are your go-to remedies to help lift you out of a rut? Share with us in the comments below. And remember, your comment might be the one insight someone needs to hear to make dramatic shifts within their life.
Thank you, as always, for being so open and loving in the comments. I love you to the moon and back.
Thank you so much for the inspiration Melissa, your advice always appears at the perfect time! Through difficult times having beautiful people around me to remind me of the beauty in life always helps 🙂 reading and realising that all great people (we are all great!) do especially well after challenging times. We must be grateful for the challenging times because they make us realize what is really important in life, they will pass, and it is those times which make us grow into the amazing individuals we are 🙂
Please keep up the amazing work and let’s thrive, enjoying this short life we live!
You’re exactly right Siobhan. We must value each second of this beautiful life.
xx
Loved this Mel!
Been so overwhelmed and on edge lately that sometimes even the smallest of things makes me trip.
For me what really helped was just having a good cry.. I think that its so important to release the energy, cause thats just what emotions are.. energy buzzing around the body.
Stretching and candles is also amazing, just putting on some quiet music and stretching.. Its soothing and put you back into a heart-centred way of being rather then letting the mind control the situation.
Very true though.. everything passes with time. Its easy to make things appear so big and scary in the moment, sometimes taking a step back and not reacting to it but rather just seeing it for what it is is so beneficial. But all of these things makes a stronger. All the situations we are faced with are meant to be felt.. We are here to experience it all <3 Love you Mel xx
Exactly honey, you’re a wise little munchkin 😉
I love your ideas of stretching and candles I am going to try it.
xx
Some fantastic ideas and I also love Cayla’s stretching. I do the same with candles and just curl up and look at all the beautiful light around me.
I find hugs and squeezes can be great too if I am feeling a bit down, especially from my man or my beautiful soul sisters.
Another thing I have found is to give someone else love, someone who means a lot to me and I know loves and supports me. Making someone else happy and doing something lovely for someone else can also make me feel warm and happy inside if I do it because I want to not to get something in return though.
The other thing I love to do is go to a beautiful organic market and surround myself with the vibrant colours, sounds and smells. Plus they usually have pretty flowers, which I buy to also lift my mood – then when I am home I can look at them when I have my candles on 🙂
My final thing is to get up and see a sunrise or noticing a sunset. Putting this together with yoga, tai-chi or moving meditation is so incredibly powerful and such a heart warming, soul cleansing experience.
Thank you again Melissa for such an amazing post. Loads of love and biggest hugs xoxo
I LOVE these Pippa. Such beautiful ideas. I am going to implement them also.
I can’t wait to give you a big squeeze 😉
xx
HI MELISSA HONEY 🙂
WHAT A GREAT ARTICLE. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING YOUR STUFF AND ALSO LISTEN TO YOUR MEDITATIONS TWICE DAILY AND GODDESS GROUP DAILY AND WHEN IM DRIVING. IT IS CERTAINLY HELPING ME OUT OF A RUT AND I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR THAT BEAUTIFUL GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT I FEEL FROM YOU. YOUR ENERGY IS AMAZING AND IM FINDING AS I PUT THINGS INTO PRACTICE IN MY EVERYDAY LIFE WITH EVERY RELATIONSHIP I HAVE THAT ITS ALL COMIMG TOGETHER AND FLOWING BEAUTIFULLY. ITS VERY CONTAGIOUS FOR OTHERS ALSO!
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU 🙂
IS THERE ANY WAY AT ALL THAT YOU COULD DO A TALK ON HOW TO DEAL WITH HEARTBREAK IN RELATIONSHIPS? OR DEALING WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE WITH SEVERE DEPRESSION?
I FIND ALL THE GODDESS GROUP TALKS INSPIRING AND GET A LOT OUT OF THEM,ESPECIALLY THE (MASCULINE/FEMININE!) WHAT A GOODIE THAT ONE WAS RIGHT!!
BEING IN A SAME SEX RELATIONSHIP THIS REALLY MADE SENSE TO ME.
THE THING IS I HAD TO LEAVE A RELATIONSHIP NOT BECAUSE I FELL OUT OF LOVE BUT BECAUSE WE BOTH HAD SO MUCH SELF DEVELOPMENT TO DO AND HER DEPRESSION TOOK OVER STRONG AFTER SO MANY YEARS I HAD TO SET MYSELF FREE TO SET US BOTH FREE IN ORDER TO GROW AND BECOME THE BEST WE COULD BE.
ITS BEEN A HARD THING TO LEARN TO LET GO OF ESPECIALLY WHEN I WANT TO ENCOURAGE HER PATH TO WELLNESS.
JUST WONDERED IF YOU COULD RECOMMEND WHICH GODDESS GROUP TALK TO LISTEN TO OR IF YOU COULD ALK ABOUT IT.
SENDING LOTS OF LOVE YOUR WAY!
MARY JAMES XOXOX
I REALLY HOPE YOUR HEALING PROCESS IS GOING WELL.
Hey beautiful Mary,
I read this beautiful quote once in Conversations with God,
Let your love propel your beloveds into the world—and into the full experience of who they are. In this will you have truly loved.
I love that you and your ex-partner could see that you needed to set each other free in order to grow. That takes courage so well done honey.
Thank you for suggesting those topics for The Goddess Group. I will add them to my list. And in terms of other sessions there are so many nuggets of wisdom in every goddess group so make your way through them all. You will LOVE them.
Sending you so much love.
xx