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The Mantra That Changed My Life

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When I feel my heart closing down after a fight with my lover, I stop for a moment and say to myself ‘Open Wide’.

When someone cuts me off at the traffic lights, honks his horn and gives me the finger out the window, and my immediate reaction is to flip him the bird right back, I stop, soften and open wide.

When I have just prepared the most delicious dinner with so much love, and I place it in front of Leo and he screws up his face and says ‘Gross, what’s that?’ and in that moment all I want to do is close off and cry, I take a deep breath, soften my heart and open wide.

When my parents trigger me, I soften and open wide.

When my girlfriend forgets my birthday and my Mean Girl tells me to ‘dump her’, I soften and open wide.

When I am mentally running through my to-do list while my lover is kissing my neck, I soften and open wide.

When my nephews want to play and all I want to do is check my emails, I let go, soften and open wide.

When the checkout assistant is going too slowly for my liking, and I feel the frustration building and my blood starts to boil, I soften and open wide.

When I’m in a rush and I run into my sweet elderly neighbour, who dearly wants two minutes of conversation and human contact, and yet my mind is pinging with tasks and reminders…

… you guessed it: I soften, and I open wide.

‘Open Wide’ has become my mantra, my philosophy, my guiding light... And it’s changed everything for me.

For too long, the opposite was my default reaction. Instead of opening wide, I’d shut down and close off — and NOTHING good ever comes from either of those two actions. Nothing! Every time I have shut down and closed myself off, I only end up hurting myself and delaying MY growth and MY evolution.  

Of course, the thing is, shutting down is so easy. For many of us, it was the behavior we saw modeled all throughout our childhoods — from our parents, teachers, friends, and neighbors. So we too learned to raise our hackles, don our armor, and deadlock the door to our hearts.

Opening wide — while a powerful, expansive, growth-inducing choice — is something most of us have to actively relearn… I know I definitely did.

Choosing to Open Wide when all we want to do is shut down is the key to spiritual growth and conscious evolution.
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Like with most things in life, the path to change — that is, to staying open rather than closing off — begins with conscious awareness, and making a choice.

It might feel tricky at first, but stick with it — GOOD GODDESS is it worth it.

Nowadays I measure a ‘successful day’ by how soft I am in my heart and how open I am to other people and the flow of life. I ask myself, did I shut down today? Did I close myself off? This is my measure of success.

By doing the work, it’s now become my go-to response. So when I feel my Mean Girl start to whisper her fear-based nonsense to me, I say it to myself… Open Wide, Melissa. When expectations barge into my head and block me from the present moment… Open Wide. When shame or fear cause me to contract and shrink… Open Wide. When I’m stuck in my egoic energy and start barking orders at Leo or Nick… Open Wide. When I’m hiding my Truth from Nick (or anyone for that matter), demanding that he somehow read my mind… Open Wide. And when I’m lying in bed in the arms of my man, and all I can think about are the things I didn’t tick off my to-do list… Open Wide.

These two little words have become a powerful catalyst to springboard me back to love (OUR TRUTH), softness, warmth and openness. They soften my sometimes very hard and very prickly edges. They reconnect me with my divine feminine. They melt me into the present moment. They raise me to be the best version of myself and they bring me home to my Truth.

My wish is that these two words become a powerful anchor for you too — a potent, ease-filled tool you can use whenever you catch yourself out of alignment and are desiring a return to Love

When you feel yourself not in your heart, closed off or shutting down, I encourage you to stop for a second, place your hands over your heart, take a few deep breaths, soften, tune in to your inner wisdom, and allow the energy of the present moment to flow through you whilst repeating your new mantra: Open Wide.

For me, whenever I accept this invitation in my own life and allow myself to Open Wide, the insight, wisdom, creativity and energy that follow never fail to instantly change my state, to uplift and inspire me to new levels. I still find myself astonished how such a simple action — consciously opening yourself up to what is — can have such powerful, profound results.

So, beautiful — are you ready to accept this loving invitation for yourself?

Are you ready to take your life, relationships, and lovemaking to new heights?

Are you ready to Open Wide?

If you’re feeling called to take your life and relationships to the next level, I encourage you to put this new mantra into practice. And for all the details, insights and aha’s on how to wholeheartedly embody this philosophy, pre-order my forthcoming book Open Wide: The Radically Real Guide To Deep Love, Rocking Relationships and Soulful Sex now.

P.S. There are some epic bonuses on offer when you pre-order now, so make sure you check ‘em all out!

Comments (25)

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    • Kimberley
      November 7, 2017

      Melissa,

      I love your mantra that you have shared today.
      Thank you.
      These 2 words are so powerful and I will take them with me into every day.
      Just 30 minutes ago when my son had gone down for his nap I grabbed out my journal as I SO shut down this morning.
      This is what I wrote;

      The anger rising so quick
      breathe
      The sting of injustice ablaze
      breathe
      My space mercilessly invaded
      breathe
      Siren crying
      breathe
      Climbing, grabbing, tripping
      breathe
      Running, ignoring, falling
      breathe
      NO, screaming, kicking
      breathe
      There is a barrier of resistance here I need to break down
      Allow the terrible two's
      Allow the idiot drivers
      Practice patience
      breathe
      Suffering is your own choice

      I will add as the last line 'OPEN WIDE'

      Again, thank you :)
      Kimberley x

      • November 8, 2017

        WOW! Super powerful honey. Let me know how you go adding Open Wide. Keep going, I am so proud of you. xx

    • Maddie Brosnan
      November 7, 2017

      Thank you for sharing and I am going to consciously practice using this mantra. Love how your measure is did you close off, or shut down. :)

    • Lauren
      November 7, 2017

      This is soooo powerful Mel!!!

      Thank you so much for sharing your mantra and inspiring me to 'open wide'. I love your blog posts, they are always just what I need at the right time! Your words always speak so much truth and have the potential to be truly life changing.

      I've followed your blog since you first started blogging and am so inspired by you Mel! I never write comments (often too afraid to speak my mind online - how silly!) but today I really wanted to express my gratitude to you and thank you for always being vulnerable with your tribe and speaking so much truth.

      Today, I choose to open wide with my lover, my patients, and my community. I can already feel my heart opening up and my body becoming softer :) sticky notes with my new mantra are to be put up on my bathroom mirror!!!

      Sending you epic amounts of love and gratitude
      Lauren :) xxxxx

      • November 8, 2017

        Thank you so much for your kind words Lauren and for mastering your Mean Girl enough to write a comment, I am so grateful to you and your kind words. Keep opening wide angel, you can do it. xx

    • November 7, 2017

      Wow. This really moved me. Even though I know how humble and down to earth you are, I still can’t help but put you on a pedestal as this faultless woman who is always overflowing with love and joy. Reading all those very typical examples of what make you (and the rest of us!) irritated etc made me feel a great sense of relief and connection - we all feel these things! Definitely going to use your mantra! Thank you Melissa xxx

      • November 8, 2017

        We sure do Alie, we are all one, all the same and ALL feel the same feels. xx

    • Jade
      November 7, 2017

      Thank you, just what I needed to read!

    • Bernie
      November 7, 2017

      So simple yet so true! I'm going to try these words with heart from now on! Thanks

    • November 7, 2017

      I absolutely love this mantra Melissa! Everything you said in here is so relatable. It sounds like this mantra is a wonderful to bring oneself Bach into the present, and to connect with the people around you. I have been going through ups and downs of turning on and turning off, and I am definitely going to try this mantra out for when o feel myself shutting down and disconnecting. Thank you for your honest, and wonderful suggestion and encouragement!

      • November 8, 2017

        You're so very welcome my darling. Thank you for having the willingness to try this new mantra. Keep me posted with how you go. xx

    • Janine
      November 7, 2017

      I love this idea Melissa and look forward to your new book. I'm just wondering will it be available as an audio book? I find the message hits harder for me when I hear you say it. You are amazing! Keep shining!

      • November 8, 2017

        Hey Janine, it sure will be on audio book so keep your eyes open wide. xx

        • Janine
          November 8, 2017

          Awesome! Can't wait. I've got tickets to your Melbourne open wide tour too! So exciting! X

    • Sheridan Bowen
      November 7, 2017

      WOW I needed to read this article tonight! My partner and I have not been getting along and I have blamed him, but failed to realise that I have been closed off and definitely not open wide. Thank you for your beautiful insight Melissa. Your podcasts and article's have been a huge part of my evolution. X

      • November 8, 2017

        Thank YOU for having the courage and willingness to master your Mean Girl and Open Wide, my angel. YOU'RE AMAZING! xx

    • November 7, 2017

      Melissa,
      This is a beautiful articulated and timely reminder for me. Thank you!

    • November 8, 2017

      Open Wide is such a great mantra Melissa!
      Thank you for sharing from your heart!

    • Jennette Marie Pulecio
      November 8, 2017

      I had a moment of awe when I read this post today. This morning as I was practicing my yoga nidra my Intention/Sankalpa was "relax and be present". It felt like such a powerful Mantra as I said it to myself. Later, As I read your post it was so similar and as powerful. I am basking in the afterglow of this delicious moment. Thank you!

    • Ella
      November 8, 2017

      Thank you for sharing Melissa, this is exactly what I needed to read! Can’t wait to read your new book, as I loved mastering your mean girl. Thank you for being such a beacon of light xx

    • Alicia
      November 8, 2017

      Wow ! relatable, readable & practiceable On point, timely & so inspiring Mel in today’s world it’s so easy to race around & be on autopilot & respond in a reactive manner instead of pausing & taking time to tune in & digest the present moment & come from a place of love & commitment Thankyou for recognising importance of opening wide & not closing off as this is where magic unfolds & we are present

    • November 11, 2017

      My best friend has been recommending me to your podcast for what feels like too long now. I finally jumped in the other day, but first had to research and figure out who you were! I'm so glad that I did. The energy of your words are magnetic, as is your obvious love for living in Love. Thank you for sharing your mantra; it's gorgeous, too, and timeless. Fretting about time (well, the "lack" of it) is a big challenge for me, but I am opening... wide... to receive the life that's here, always here. When I rush, race, worry, and live anywhere else but here in the present, I am not receiving and giving the life that so wants to flow. Thank you bunches. Love, Jen.

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