Friendships (just like ALL relationships) need watering, love, nurturing and attention in order for them to grow, flourish and thrive. I talk about this a lot in Open Wide but now more than ever we need to love on our besties.
And the good news is there are so many ways we can show up and be an awesome friend… here are a few of my favorites —
Treat your friends how you want to be treated:
The biggest thing you need to remember when it comes to your relationships is treat others how YOU want to be treated. You want more love, give more love. You want respect, be respectful. You want honesty & authenticity, YOU be honest & authentic. Treat others the way YOU want to be treated always and forever.
Speak your truth from a place of love and don’t hold things in:
Nothing good ever comes when we suppress our feelings and hold them in. Speak your truth from a place of love and most times if the other person is open it will be received with love.
I talk about Crystal Clear Communication in my book Open Wide and I truly believe it’s the best relationship tool ever. CCC is when you sit down with someone, you drop into your heart and speak from there. From personal experience whenever I have practiced CCC it’s always usually met with love.
Remember nothing good comes from closing:
Nothing good ever comes from you closing down, shutting off and ghosting someone. You may not be loved up with everyone all the time, people come in and out of your life and that’s ok. But when someone closes down, shuts off and ghosts you without any explanation it can feel very hurtful and confusing. You may even be left feeling like you did something ‘wrong’ when in fact it could be their stuff. This can play on your mind, pull you out of the present moment and can cause unnecessary stress. If you have ever been on the receiving end of someone shutting down, closing off or ghosting you will know how hurtful it can feel (I’ve been there). And if you didn’t like that experience don’t do it to anyone else. Stay open, don’t shut down and ghost and practice CCC instead.
Hold space for each other:
When you’re with your friends and she is speaking, hold space for her to express whatever she needs to express. It’s not your job to ‘fix’, or ‘diagnose’ her… just be there and make sure she feels truly seen and heard. Tell her you see and hear her, be present and listen with both ears.
Honour your word:
If you say you’ll do something, do it! If you say you’ll be somewhere, be there. The simple act of following through on your words is so powerful and helps build a strong foundation of trust and loyalty in any relationship which over time will deepen your connection. In saying that I know things come up and that’s ok, that’s life. In that instance, you practice CCC and she will understand.
Remember the ‘little’ things too:
It’s easy to remember big things like birthdays but the littlest things can make the biggest impact! Take note of the things that mean a lot to your soulies, but that are easy to overlook or forget when life gets full. Has she got an important work presentation coming up? Maybe she finds the month of August hard because it’s the anniversary of her father’s passing? Make a point to ask her how she’s feeling about it & genuinely listen. If there’s a specific date that’s important to my friends, I like to pop a reminder in my phone so that I don’t forget. That way, I’m reminded to send her a supportive voice message or drop off some vegan brownie when it matters most.
Be her biggest cheerleader and celebrate her wins:
When we, as women, lift each other up, the whole world is strengthened and filled with more LOVE! So don’t hold back in handing out meaningful compliments. Love the meal she just cooked you? Tell her. Proud of her latest IG post? Sing it, sister. Inspired by her current fitness efforts? Shout her praises from the rooftop and do it without wanting anything in return.
Don’t take things personally:
At times we can all feel frazzled, stressed, overwhelmed, tired and cranky. So if your friend does something that upsets you, before you react, ask yourself: Is this actually personal? Could it, perhaps, be explained by her having an off day? So often, the slights we perceive — a harsher tone, a forgotten phone call, a late arrival — often aren’t personal at all. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt, practice CCC and choose to let it go sister.
If in doubt bring brownies, they are ALWAYS a good idea.
Do you have any tips on how to be an epic soul sister? Share them below or on my IG post and let’s make a long inspiring list we can come back to time and time again.