For four beautiful weeks after the birth of our little angel, we were held by our community. We were nourished with the most amazing meal train delivered to our door daily by our friends and family. It was heaven! And exactly what we needed, so that we could stay in our love bubble with little B.
Then something unexpected happened…
When I shared about this experience on social media, I was absolutely FLOODED with messages that said things like…
‘That’s amazing, you’re so lucky. How the heck did you manifest this?!’
‘I would LOVE something like this, but I could never in a million years ask for it!’
‘I want this so much, but I have trouble asking for support. I don’t want to put people out or bother them. How did you do it and be ok with people doing this for you?’
‘I’d feel guilty knowing that everyone was going to so much trouble for me. How did you get okay with that?’
‘This is exactly what I need and desire, but I feel bad asking my friends and family. How did you ask?’
HOW did I ask?
I just did! I opened my mouth and asked.
I didn’t beat around the bush, I used my voice and practiced CCC (Crystal Clear Communication) and asked.
And how did I receive that help when it was given?
I have done loads of inner healing work and mastering of my Mean Girl to finally be ok with receiving. It was uncomfortable for my Mean Girl at the start, but it was work that needed to be done. It’s work we all need to do!
So, I invite you to look at WHY you find it challenging to receive. This is the first place you need to start. Ask yourself WHY you feel uncomfortable with receiving?
What comes up for you?
What stories from the past arise?
Dive into that and then choose to release it. Choose to let it go. Choose to create a new story around receiving.
Because the truth is, the people around you who love you want to help. I’ll say that again: they WANT to help!
For me, when my friends have babies or aren’t feeling 100% or are going through a challenging time, I want to help them. It lights me up, it brings me SO MUCH JOY… and this is true for most people.
So when you don’t open up to receiving, you deny the other person the opportunity to show up for you, to love on you, to help and support you. You deny them the opportunity to give. You deny them the opportunity to serve.
And your inner Mean Girl might pipe up —
‘Don’t put people out.’
‘Everyone is so busy, I can’t possibly ask them to help me, cook for me, or pick up my kids.’
… but I call BS on all that!
You CAN ask for support in the way you desire.
Master your inner Meal Girl, get out of your own way and allow your loved ones to love on you, to hold you and support you in the way you desire.
So, let me answer your question again…
How did I manifest the most epic four week meal train post birth?
I asked for it, clearly, with love and without any expectation. Most of us don’t need flowers or more things, bits and bobs. I knew what I needed and that was to be nourished post-birth, so I simply asked.
Then I sat back with an open and grateful heart, and allowed our circle of loved ones to hold, support and nourish us.
Now it’s your turn to ask for what you truly desire.
What do you need right now that you’re not asking for? Share with me below and your homework is to go and ask for it. You CAN do it my friend.
Hello Melissa!! Great post! Whenever someone tells me “I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to bother you” I always reply “That’s the thing that bothers me”. Not being crystal clear and vulnerable really is poisonous to ANY relationship. Thanks for shining your light <3
Pleasure angel. Let’s all commit to speaking our truth and asking when we need it. xx
I used to be proud of the fact that I was wildly independent and didn’t need anyone’s help. I’m only now starting to realise (with the support of a therapist) just how unhealthy and debilitating this really is. As women, we have been raised to believe that we can do it all ourselves and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. So, my mid-year’s resolution is to learn to slowly break that habit and embrace the help of my closest friends and family.
So important honey. Asking for support is so powerful and necessary. xx