This past weekend, something magical happened: my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary by renewing our vows on a breathtaking island, surrounded by our beautiful family and friends.

It was a day filled with love, laughter, and a few happy tears. Take a peek:

This milestone in our marriage made me reflect on the past decade and all the relationship lessons we’ve learned along the way (sometimes the hard way).

So, in the spirit of sharing and growing together, I wanted to pass along my 10 secrets for a wildly fulfilling relationship that I wish I’d known 10 years ago. 

Whether you’re single, dating, or deep into a partnership, I hope they help you as much as they’ve helped me. ♥️

1. Stay Open

The first lesson I share in Open Wide and it’s is simple: nothing good comes from shutting down or closing off. 

When you embrace openness, you’ll find that solutions are easier to find and conflicts easier to resolve.

Whether it’s a tough conversation about finances, discussing future plans, or making up after a disagreement, staying open to discussion, compromise, and opposing points of view is vital.

2. Do the Inner Work

Investing time in understanding and working on yourself will transform your relationship. 

Doing the inner work means addressing your fears, triggers, traumas, wounds, past experiences and emotional baggage. This not only helps you become a better partner, it also enriches your relationship because you’re bringing a healthier, more whole version of yourself to the table and that’s when the magic happens. 

3. Your Happiness is Yours to Create

Here’s the deal: your happiness is not your partner’s responsibility. It’s yours!

When you take charge of your own emotional and mental well-being, you remove unnecessary pressure from the relationship, resulting in a healthier, more resilient connection. 

And when both partners act as the architects of their own happiness, the foundation you build together is unbelievably strong.

4. Set Boundaries Around Work and Home Life

For those who work with their significant other, setting healthy boundaries between work and home life is crucial. It’s way too easy to let work discussions spill over into dinner time or family outings, which can lead to tension, burnout, stress and that feeling of never truly switching off. 

The remedy is simple: establish clear lines around when work ends and personal time begins. Not only does this help keep the romance alive, it ensures that your home — and your relationship — remain a sanctuary and don’t get eaten up by work talk, stress and to-do lists.

5. Water Your Relationship

Your relationship is like a plant: it needs regular watering.

Just like the peace lily on your kitchen bench that wilts without water, a relationship can falter without consistent, love, energy, and nurturing attention.

So: pour love and energy into your partner in ways that are meaningful for them. Discover their love language and show appreciation, actively support each other, and most important of all, be present. These small acts of ‘watering’ are crucial for keeping your relationship vibrant and thriving, even when life gets full.

6. Never Stop Dating

Some of my favorite memories EVER are of the dates that Nick and I went on in our early days. And you know what? That energy doesn’t have to stop!

Continuing to date your partner, regardless of how long you’ve been together, keeps the romantic spark alive. Surprise each other, be curious, and maintain that delightful dating energy.

Hot tip: Your dates don’t need to be complicated or elaborate (although they certainly can be, if you like!). We love early nights to bed so we’ve recently embraced the “morning date” — once a week we get our nanny to come a bit earlier than usual, then we head out together for a coastal walk, an ocean dip and a nourishing breakfast, before heading home and diving into our work day. It’s a divine way to start the day.

7. Laugh Together — A Lot!

Laughter isn’t just good medicine; it’s the glue in a lasting and thriving relationship. So find humor in daily life, and don’t be afraid to be silly together. Not only is it a fantastic stress reliever, it bonds you together in the simplest yet deepest way.

8. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

Active listening is a game changer. Instead of formulating your next point while your partner is speaking, truly listen to understand their perspective. You’ll both instantly feel the difference.

Image credit: @milanicreative

9. Support Each Other’s Dreams

Be each other’s biggest fans. Celebrate both their big victories and their small wins. When you both know you have such strong support at home, it not only empowers you to tackle challenges and achieve great things, it also fills your journey together with more joy and fulfillment.

Also, be interested in each other! Whether it’s a career move, a personal project, or just a small hobby, show genuine interest and excitement for the things your partner is passionate about.

10. Be Each Other’s Safe Harbor

At the end of the day, be the peace and comfort your partner needs. Life throws us enough challenges; don’t let your relationship be another one. Be the soft place to land, always.

As we celebrated this weekend, not just our past but the many years we hope to share in the future, these reflections have never felt more relevant. 

I hope they resonate with you too, Beautiful.

Remember, no relationship is perfect. It’s the effort and intention that we put in that makes all the difference.

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Are you up to date with my latest podcast episodes?

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With all my heart,