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Money Is Not The Only Currency Plus How To Reprogram Your Money Beliefs

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Those of you who have read Mastering Your Mean Girl will know that I believe money is energy! It’s simply something we use as a form of exchange for other things that we value. I believe money will show up for that which is true for you and I also believe that you are not defined by the number on your bank statement or on your credit card bill. But I haven’t always thought this way. You see, back in 2010 when I hit rock bottom and ended up in hospital, I realised I was living my life out of fear. I rrealized I was entertaining many limiting fear-based Mean Girl beliefs because I didn’t know there was any other way.

My Mean Girl was telling me…

Money is hard to come by.

You have to come from a rich family to make it in life.

I am never going to get out of debt.

I am never going to be able to afford the type of dream home and life I desire.

I am always going to struggle financially.

And on and on she went.

But back in 2010, I realised that I was holding onto my parents’ philosophy around money and that all those fear based beliefs weren’t actually mine. You see, my parents didn’t come from abundance. My dad migrated to Australia from Italy with his family when he was 6 years old and they struggled! Dad had to leave school at 15 and get a job to help provide for his family. Mum too! When they had their first baby — my sister — they were still living at my Nonna’s place because they couldn't afford their own home. They both worked extremely hard and incredibly long hours to provide my brother, sister and I with a different experience to what they had.

My mum is a nurse and when we were growing up, she worked night duty so that she could take the three of us to school and to all our after-school activities. She would work all night from 10 p.m. ‘til 6 a.m., get home, iron our uniforms, make our lunches, then do the school drop-off (to three different schools, I might add). She would then come home and sleep from around 9 a.m. ‘til 2:30 p.m., then it was back in the car to pick us all up and drop my sister to tutoring, me to dancing, and my brother to rugby practice. Most times she would sleep in the car whilst I was in dance class, because she was too tired to drive home then come back out again. Bless her! After our activities, it was home for a beautiful meal she had somehow found the time to prepare, followed by homework, then bed. If she was lucky, she could sneak in a few more hours of sleep on the couch from 7:30 p.m. ‘til 8:30 p.m. before it was time to head to work again. I remember how exhausted she always was. I remember her falling asleep at every opportunity she got. Sometimes she would even doze off for a minute or two when we were stopped at the traffic lights on the way home from dancing — she would get me to wake her when the light turned green... She truly has the soul of a warrior!

All this hustling, however, led me to believe not only that you had to work extremely hard, but that you had to flog your body in the process, just to make a buck. Mum and Dad hustled their hearts out, and this planted a seed in my mind that that’s ‘just what you have to do’... even if it’s at the detriment of your own health and happiness.

When I realised that I was still clutching onto this belief, I decided to master my Mean Girl and reprogram my beliefs around money. I now believe that...

We are abundant beings and can create whatever our heart desires.
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Money will show up for that which is true for each of us.
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We are only limited by our Mean Girl thoughts.
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Money is just energy that we use in exchange for something we value.
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Money should make you expand, not contract.
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I then began to consciously embrace my new heart-fuelled truths. And every time my Mean Girl would rear her head and plant a limiting thought — such as, 'You can’t afford that, you don’t deserve wealth, you’ll never have as much as so-and-so has' — I had to stop her, gently close the door on her, and choose love instead.

It can feel challenging to make these kind of changes — especially when you’ve had twenty-four years of conditioning deeply ingrained into you like I had. But it does get easier (I promise), and the more you practice catching those limiting beliefs in their tracks, the easier it becomes. Just like everything else, it’s a metaphorical muscle that gets strengthened with use. Your job is to strengthen it daily.

Thanks to the science of quantum physics, we know that everything in the Universe — including ourselves — is made up of waves of vibrating particles. Everything is energy. From the device, you are reading off right now, to what you are sitting on, to the objects that surround you. Matter is just energy that has been slowed down enough for it to take form and become visible to us. So if that is the case, then money is not the only form of currency we can use in exchange for something we value.

At one time, people used cowrie shells as their unit of exchange for something they valued. So money doesn’t have to be our only form of exchange. BUT (and this is a big BUT), in order for you to truly value and appreciate something, there has to be some form of energetic exchange.

For example, if your friend is a personal trainer and has offered to give you free training sessions, in exchange you could help her with her social media. That way not only will you both value what you are receiving, but it’s a fair energetic exchange and resentment won’t build. You see, when we do something that doesn’t feel fair, it plants the seed of resentment and over time that builds and builds and builds until one day you burst. So it’s best you deal with it up front so that no resentment seeds take root.

Another example could be if your friend looks after your kids once a week. In exchange, you could make her dinner one night or offer to look after her kids another day. Or if your bestie is an amazing web wizard and you need help with your website, you could offer to make them lunch or walk their dog. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as there is a fair energetic exchange. Think of the skills you have and how you can be of service to others.

Often, if I am helping out a friend or family member with something, I will explain this concept to them first and then ask them what feels like a fair energetic exchange to them. It’s important that both parties feel good about the exchange so that no resentment can grow.

Now I would love to hear from you. Tell me in the comments below what you think of this concept and if you have had an experience where there hasn’t been a fair exchange and how you dealt with it. I am curious to know your thoughts on this. And remember, thousands of beautiful souls (just like you) come here daily for inspiration, and your words might be the one thing they need to read to spark massive inspiration in their own life, so open your heart and share from there.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I love people that are deeply committed to their growth and you are one of those people.

Comments (31)

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    • Alexandra
      October 20, 2016

      There's a really interesting ted talk that speaks directly on this topic by the artist m.i.s.o and her experience with alternative economy you might find interesting. I think when you take the financial basis away for trade people will always go above and beyond because it no longer becomes something they do without thought they consider the other person and can actually become really creative with there response.

      • Melissa
        October 20, 2016

        Thanks Alexandra, I will check it out.

    • October 20, 2016

      I absolutely love this concept Melissa and use it outside of money as well! I find it such an effective and important way to maintain my self worth and personal values. I love reading your posts like this where my mean girl at times may have been telling me my standards for life are too high and then your writing comes along and gives her a firm press of the mute button and my best self some fresh motivation!! Thank you!!!! Xxxxx

      • Melissa
        October 20, 2016

        Nice one sista! I got your back ;)

    • October 20, 2016

      I love it! Thanks so much Mel

    • October 20, 2016

      I totally agree that it takes reframing your thoughts around money to allow abundance to flow to you.

      I catch myself saying things like, 'You have to work hard for money', 'money doesn't come easy' and 'that's a waste of money' - all of these things bring a negative energy to money that I am trying to shift.

      One of my biggest money mentors has been Denise Duffield-Thomas who is a self-made millionaire and teaches women how to create abundance and make more money by surrounding money with more positive thoughts. There's a step-by-step process that makes complete sense to me. Plus, she's currently running a free manifesting course that I know the MA tribe would be interested in: http://bit.ly/2eHCisS.

      Thanks for the reminder today, Mel!

      • Melissa
        October 21, 2016

        Thanks for sharing sista! This looks great.

    • October 20, 2016

      Absolutely love it, Mel! I agree :) I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I'm working on my coaching programs and getting ready to launch them. It is too easy to undervalue ourselves monetarily with what we charge our clients but I find if I come back to the exchange of energy that has gone into all of my creations, it makes it much easier to charge an amount that feels in tune with that. Thanks for the post! x

    • Andrea
      October 20, 2016

      Once again, another great post!

      I have had the opposite happen in that someone will do a "favour" or something for me, and I will offer something in exchange (usually watching each other's kids or money), but then they don't take me up on the offers. I then start feeling bad and guilty, because the 'giving' is only going in one direction. I can only offer so many times until I feel like I am taking advantage of their kindness, and then round and round we go. Any suggestions?

      • Melissa
        October 21, 2016

        Hey Andrea,

        I should have mentioned this in the post but sometimes even offering your ears to listen to them is enough. It doesn't have to be physical like money or time simply being present and listening to them is enough. Does that make sense honey?

        • Andrea
          October 22, 2016

          Yes. I like the different perspective on this. Thanks!

      • Libby
        February 21, 2017

        Hey Andrea - I'm a bit late responding to this but did want to offer another perspective: sometimes I can't repay the person giving me a helping hand, but I can help someone else... That's just energy flowing in a different direction and that's ok too. Just last week someone helped us out for free and was very generous with his time. I was humbled and inspired by his generosity and paid it forward to someone else.

    • October 20, 2016

      Totally with the money beliefs! My parents were work your guts out in low end jobs for little rewards type of people. When I finished school I fell into the trap of working 3 jobs at a time it lead to burnout, limited connections and low self worth it affected so many areas of my life.

      My mean girl likes to pop up and tell me that 'you don't deserve to be paid well for your effort time and skills' 'You don't work hard enough to be paid that'

      Your self worth medi has helped heaps with this Mel along with choosing an abundance mindset. After having at least 27 years of a scarcity mindset with a ton of scarifice from other areas of life particually health, choosing to be wildly wealthy in all areas has been an absolute game changer. The energy flows into so many different areas of my life now depending where I give most = energy flows/exhanges!! xx

      • Melissa
        October 21, 2016

        Bec, this is music to my ears. I am so proud of you. Keep going angel.

    • October 20, 2016

      I love this idea. It removes counting, pettiness, being a miser, etc., etc.. Instead, it's all about creating a pathway for awesome, abundant vibes to flow freely between two people. I struggle with limiting beliefs surrounding money, but this idea is so exciting and inspiring to me. Thank you, Melissa! <3

    • October 20, 2016

      That's a great reminder Melissa :-) Exactly what I needed to hear today. I'll explain this concept openly to family and friends and see what interesting energetic exchanges we can build ! xoxo

      • Melissa
        October 21, 2016

        Glad it resonates honey. Keep me posted with how you go ;)

    • Sandra Fawcett
      October 21, 2016

      I couldn't have put it better myself - I idolize you; I see so much of myself in you, I just need to learn how to master that mean girl still! I absolutely love you and your book (goes everywhere with me!) love Sandra

      • Melissa
        October 21, 2016

        You are so sweet, Sandra. Have you finished reading it yet? Remember mastering your Mean Girl is a daily practice and you will get better and better at it the more you practice it. Keep going honey.

        • Sandra Fawcett
          October 21, 2016

          Yes I have read it twice already! Love ❤️ it xxxx
          Sandra

    • Anni
      October 21, 2016

      I really like this concept of energetic exchange. It makes me think about my relationships, especially with my partner, and how in a relationship you should want to give it all from a place of love and not have expectations to get anything back. So where does the line go between these two?

      • Melissa
        October 24, 2016

        There is no line honey, it's all about giving without any expectations. Have you read my book yet? I think you would get a lot out of the expectation chapter. Check it out!

    • Sandra Fawcett
      October 21, 2016

      Your article is SO true - definitely sharing your ideas

    • Stephanie
      October 25, 2016

      This was such a fabulous read Melissa. You've touched on so many limitations we hold onto when it comes to finances and money. I think most of us "adopt" our parents views. Many of us hear about how hard it is to make it, to get ahead, that money is hard to come by, and we have to struggle. I certainly saw my parents go through great financial hardship (losing a business, struggling to heat our home, losing savings). I'm working now to try to release these old patterns that are in some ways stuck in my subconscious. I'm reading Louise Hay and I love her notion that there is absolutely enough for us all. It's so liberating and freeing to hear about limitlessness. It's such a stark contrast to what we hear today.

      I love your idea of money not being the only currency. My in laws are in a different financial situation than my husband and I. They often offer support financially (with groceries, clothes, oil to heat our home). I have difficulty accepting their gifts. However after reading this, I realize that there is still an exchange. I often cook meals for them in their home or bring meals with me when I visit. Perhaps I should let go of the "guilt" around their help, accept their gifts, and continue to exchange my "gifts" to them. And the bigger "ah ha" I just noticed is that my husband and I are struggling just like my parents did and just like his parents did!!!.....

      • Melissa
        October 25, 2016

        BIG realizations honey. Well done for being open to them. Now it's time to take inspired action. Go for it sista!

      • Stephanie
        October 25, 2016

        Thanks Melissa! How do you suggest letting these old ideas go? Through meditation and affirmations?

        • Melissa
          October 27, 2016

          Hi Stephaine,

          Great question! For me, what has worked best is constantly catching and reframing my old limiting beliefs and replacing them with new ones. Yes meditation and affirmations are also super powerful and I do those too but the simple act or awareness is key to transforming all your old beliefs. Does that make sense sweetie?

        • Stephanie
          October 27, 2016

          Yes! So instead of "I can't afford that,"....I would replace it with "I deserve and am worthy of that." My mean girl doesn't want me to believe that! Caught her! Keep on keepin on. Thanks Melissa!

        • Melissa
          October 27, 2016

          That's it sista! You got it! ;) It's a process and the more your practice it the better you get.

    • Amy McFarland
      April 27, 2017

      Love love love this concept!
      But what about when its outside of close relationships?
      I have always struggled with money and never had a lot of it and i totally resonate with your story about your parents. Bless my parents but I grew up seeing the eye rolls every time bills came in the mail, I grew up around "we can't afford that"
      So I also have been programmed to think money equals stress and money is a struggle.
      What about when you are trying to afford things that can only be exchanged for money?
      (Absolutely adore you) xxx

      • April 28, 2017

        Hey Amy, it sounds like you need to master your limiting Mean Girl money beliefs and create some new ones. What do YOU believe about money? Not what your parents believe... what do YOU believe angel? Write them down and every time your Mean Girl tries to tell you you don't have enough or you can't afford X,Y,Z, master her and replace that old limiting belief with one of your new ones. Give that a go for 2 weeks and let me know how you go. Also have you read my book Mastering Your Mean Girl yet? I think you will get a lot out of it. xx

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