Those of you who have read Mastering Your Mean Girl will know that I believe money is energy! It’s simply something we use as a form of exchange for other things that we value. I believe money will show up for that which is true for you and I also believe that you are not defined by the number on your bank statement or on your credit card bill. But I haven’t always thought this way. You see, back in 2010 when I hit rock bottom and ended up in hospital, I realised I was living my life out of fear. I realized I was entertaining many limiting fear-based Mean Girl beliefs because I didn’t know there was any other way.
My Mean Girl was telling me…
Money is hard to come by.
You have to come from a rich family to make it in life.
I am never going to get out of debt.
I am never going to be able to afford the type of dream home and life I desire.
I am always going to struggle financially.
And on and on she went.
But back in 2010, I realised that I was holding onto my parents’ philosophy around money and that all those fear based beliefs weren’t actually mine. You see, my parents didn’t come from abundance. My dad migrated to Australia from Italy with his family when he was 6 years old and they struggled! Dad had to leave school at 15 and get a job to help provide for his family. Mum too! When they had their first baby — my sister — they were still living at my Nonna’s place because they couldn’t afford their own home. They both worked extremely hard and incredibly long hours to provide my brother, sister and I with a different experience to what they had.
My mum is a nurse and when we were growing up, she worked night duty so that she could take the three of us to school and to all our after-school activities. She would work all night from 10 p.m. ‘til 6 a.m., get home, iron our uniforms, make our lunches, then do the school drop-off (to three different schools, I might add). She would then come home and sleep from around 9 a.m. ‘til 2:30 p.m., then it was back in the car to pick us all up and drop my sister to tutoring, me to dancing, and my brother to rugby practice. Most times she would sleep in the car whilst I was in dance class, because she was too tired to drive home then come back out again. Bless her! After our activities, it was home for a beautiful meal she had somehow found the time to prepare, followed by homework, then bed. If she was lucky, she could sneak in a few more hours of sleep on the couch from 7:30 p.m. ‘til 8:30 p.m. before it was time to head to work again. I remember how exhausted she always was. I remember her falling asleep at every opportunity she got. Sometimes she would even doze off for a minute or two when we were stopped at the traffic lights on the way home from dancing — she would get me to wake her when the light turned green… She truly has the soul of a warrior!
All this hustling, however, led me to believe not only that you had to work extremely hard, but that you had to flog your body in the process, just to make a buck. Mum and Dad hustled their hearts out, and this planted a seed in my mind that that’s ‘just what you have to do’… even if it’s at the detriment of your own health and happiness.
We are abundant beings and can create whatever our heart desires.
When I realised that I was still clutching onto this belief, I decided to master my Mean Girl and reprogram my beliefs around money. I now believe that…
I then began to consciously embrace my new heart-fuelled truths. And every time my Mean Girl would rear her head and plant a limiting thought — such as, ‘You can’t afford that, you don’t deserve wealth, you’ll never have as much as so-and-so has’ — I had to stop her, gently close the door on her, and choose love instead.
It can feel challenging to make these kind of changes — especially when you’ve had twenty-four years of conditioning deeply ingrained into you like I had. But it does get easier (I promise), and the more you practice catching those limiting beliefs in their tracks, the easier it becomes. Just like everything else, it’s a metaphorical muscle that gets strengthened with use. Your job is to strengthen it daily.
Thanks to the science of quantum physics, we know that everything in the Universe — including ourselves — is made up of waves of vibrating particles. Everything is energy. From the device, you are reading off right now, to what you are sitting on, to the objects that surround you. Matter is just energy that has been slowed down enough for it to take form and become visible to us. So if that is the case, then money is not the only form of currency we can use in exchange for something we value.
At one time, people used cowrie shells as their unit of exchange for something they valued. So money doesn’t have to be our only form of exchange. BUT (and this is a big BUT), in order for you to truly value and appreciate something, there has to be some form of energetic exchange.
For example, if your friend is a personal trainer and has offered to give you free training sessions, in exchange you could help her with her social media. That way not only will you both value what you are receiving, but it’s a fair energetic exchange and resentment won’t build. You see, when we do something that doesn’t feel fair, it plants the seed of resentment and over time that builds and builds and builds until one day you burst. So it’s best you deal with it up front so that no resentment seeds take root.
Another example could be if your friend looks after your kids once a week. In exchange, you could make her dinner one night or offer to look after her kids another day. Or if your bestie is an amazing web wizard and you need help with your website, you could offer to make them lunch or walk their dog. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as there is a fair energetic exchange. Think of the skills you have and how you can be of service to others.
Often, if I am helping out a friend or family member with something, I will explain this concept to them first and then ask them what feels like a fair energetic exchange to them. It’s important that both parties feel good about the exchange so that no resentment can grow.
Now I would love to hear from you. Tell me in the comments below what you think of this concept and if you have had an experience where there hasn’t been a fair exchange and how you dealt with it. I am curious to know your thoughts on this. And remember, thousands of beautiful souls (just like you) come here daily for inspiration, and your words might be the one thing they need to read to spark massive inspiration in their own life, so open your heart and share from there.
As always, thank you so much for being here. I love people that are deeply committed to their growth and you are one of those people.