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As a fresh new year rolls on in, we are inundated with people sharing their goals, intentions, desires, words and resolutions all over social media and the web. It’s really beautiful and inspiring however I wonder how many of these goals are really heart centred or just something your Mean Girl wants you to tick off your bucket list?

The thing is when you set goals from the right place they are most likely to manifest. When they are not from the right place they will just cause more overwhelm and stress. Well that’s the case for me anyways.

Yesterday morning, as I sat at the beach with my good friend and meditation teacher Tom Cronin, I shared with him how I have struggled to be present over the Christmas and New Year break. I confessed that my meditations had been very shallow and scattered, and that I’d been in my head and feeling overwhelmed. Heck, I even put a down payment on a penthouse in Fear Town.

Watching the endless waves crash before us, and listening to his wise words, I finally got the perspective and aha that had been eluding me. All my New Year’s angst was because I’d been witnessing others set goals, choose words, and create lists as long as the Thames of what they’re going to achieve this year, and I let it all creep into my head and sow the seeds of fear.

You can probably guess the sort of stuff my inner Mean Girl had been saying…

“Everyone else has such impressive, exciting goals — if you don’t come up with ones that are bigger and better, you’re going to be left behind.”

In years past, I’ve set myself all sorts of crazy long lists of goals in order to feel ‘worthy’, and completely stressed myself out in the process.

This year, however, I am rebelling.

I am not setting a long list of personal goals. All I want to do is be present. Live in the moment. I want to belly laugh every day with my boys and have at least one dance off in the kitchen (costumes optional). I want to be free from the limitations I place on myself by listening to what my Mean Girl wants me to achieve and then beating myself up if it doesn’t happen. I will not subscribe to this.

Instead I just want to be here. Fully. Right now, in this precious magical moment — the only moment we truly have.

The trick is to not worry about what everyone else is doing, my sweet friend. Make sure your goals are from the right place and they are your truth and not just what everyone else is doing.

Every moment is a new moment. A clean slate. A fresh start. Just choose to be here. It’s perfect! It always is.

How do you know if the goals you’re setting are your truth?

Ask yourself this, ‘Does this goal make me expand?’ When you think about what you want to achieve, do you feel your shoulders pull back, your heart open up and your soul tingle?

You have to really want what you’re going after with all your heart and soul.

Or does is make you contract? Do your shoulders slouch forward, your heart close off a little and your head feel heavy?

If it’s the latter, then it’s fair to say it’s not your truth.

And let it be said: You didn’t come here to suffer or buy the penthouse in Fear Town. You are here to play. To be love. To be your unique self and to be of service.

So pay attention. Notice when you are hanging out in Fear Town and head on back to Love City. Call yourself out on it. Call your partner, friends, family and clients on it (with love, of course!).

How To Set Heart-Centered Goals

When you are goal setting make sure they are coming from the right place — that they’re truly heart-centered and pump passion through your veins. Make sure it’s your truth and something that you actually truly desire.

For example, last year I had a friend who set the intention to quit sugar. She killed it in January, but fell off the bandwagon in February and was totally beating herself up. I asked her if she really wanted to quit sugar and she said, ‘Well no, not really; I kind of started doing it because everyone else is.’ I loved her honesty, but of course, her goal was never going to happen because she didn’t really want it.

Do you see the difference?

So set goals and intentions from your heart or don’t set any at all. Because you, my sweet friend, are here to be your unique authentic self and share that with the world. That is your mission — don’t forget it!

Now I want to hear from you. Have you set heart-centered goals for yourself this year? If so, please share them in the comments below — I would love to hear them.

Thank you so much for sharing your love and light in the comments. Thousands of people all over the world come here for daily inspiration, so thank you for sharing your wisdom; you are making a difference.