Our inner critic (or what I call our Mean Girl) wants everyone to like us, accept us, and approve of us.
So when someone doesn’t do those things, we think the problem lies with us. We ask, why? What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Am I a bad person?
The answer is NO! You are not a bad person and nothing is wrong with you. We simply forget that it’s our inner Mean Girl that desires love and acceptance from everyone and that she’ll lash out if she doesn’t get it, whispering in our ears that we’re a piece of crap and not good enough.
But you know what? Enough’s enough! This has to stop. Today!
The Truth (with a capital T) is that it’s impossible to get every person you meet to accept and love you. Everyone is so different, everyone has their own stuff going on, and everyone has their own triggers and trauma. So as much as we’d like to, we simply can’t ‘make’ anyone feel anything — even love for us.
However, what we can do is remember these 6 things whenever we find ourselves seeking someone else’s love, acceptance or approval…
1. Remember you are amazing just as you are.
Repeat after me, ‘I am amazing just as I am’. Pop your inner Mean Girl on mute and repeat this 50 times a day if you need to. Because the Truth is you ARE amazing. We all are, so please don’t forget that.
2. Remember that not everyone is going to like you and that’s ok.
It’s your inner Mean Girl that desires acceptance from everyone, not your True Higher Self. Your True Higher Self is too busy being a badass spiritual bombshell and channeling divine downloads from above to worry about something so trivial as what other people think about you. So keep this in mind: your True Higher Self doesn’t need any external validation at all. She already knows that we’re all one and that we’re all awesome in our own way. It’s only our earth selves that still need to be reminded of this!
3. Remember that the most important person you need to like you is YOU!
It doesn’t matter if the whole world thinks you’re the bee’s knees if you don’t like and accept yourself. YOU are the most important person to seek love from, no one else.
4. Remember that you can’t please everyone.
Trying to please everyone and trying to get their love, acceptance and approval would be incredibly exhausting and completely impossible. Save that energy and redirect it into showing up as the best version of yourself, staying true to your own values, and living a life that makes you happy.
5. Remember that you can’t shrink to make others feel comfortable.
You are here on earth to shine and to shine bright. It’s your birthright to share your magic with the world. Shrinking to make others feel comfortable or to be liked, approved of or accepted is just another way your inner Mean Girl is trying to keep you small. Quit that, take off that lampshade, and let your inner spark shine loud and proud.
6. Remember that the greatest gift you have is who you truly are.
Your Tru Higher Self is your greatest gift to the world. Your quirks, your gifts, they are what make you you! Don’t try to squeeze your diamond-shaped self into a square box so that others might like or accept you. Be who you truly are. Unleash your gifts, let your true self show, and be as gloriously *you* as possible… because the world needs your special magic sprinkled everywhere you go.
Serious about doing the inner work in this area? I created a Self Love Meditation to support you with this. It’s super effective and feels really, really good. Check it out here, and let me know if you have any other tips to add to this list.