Ask Better Questions: The Simple Life Hack That Can Instantly Upgrade Your Life, Business & Relationships







  1. How the right questions can lead to breakthroughs in your life.
  2. Why the questions we avoid are often the ones we most need to ask.
  3. Swipe the 5 questions I use to expand my sense of possibility and hit my goals with more speed and alignment.


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Today, I’m breaking down the life-changing art of asking better questions.

This is a skill that’s so much more powerful than you might think. It can transform your mindset, deepen your relationships, amplify your creativity, and unlock doors you didn’t even know existed. 

Honestly, it’s one of the most powerful life hacks around. So let’s dive in…

1. Questions shape your focus and perspective. 

The questions we ask ourselves each day shape our experience and how we view the world. 

Imagine you’re having a challenging day. Consider the difference between asking yourself “Why does this always happen to me?” versus “What can I learn from this experience?” or “How can I improve this situation?”. 

The first question, as you can imagine, breeds a victim mentality and makes it hard to find solutions.

The second two questions, on the other hand, empower you and open up a world of possibilities and solutions.


Hot tip: A question I love asking myself on those extra stretching days, where positivity feels a little further out of reach, is this: What can I do right now to make myself feel just 1% better? The answer usually appears instantly — “go outside”, “take a few belly breaths”, “get off your phone” — and soon enough, I feel a lot more than just one percent better.

2. Great questions can unlock new levels of connection.

Asking insightful, thoughtful questions of the people around you is a powerful shortcut for deepening your relationships and unlocking the wisdom in others. 

  • In casual conversations, instead of the usual “How are you?”, try asking, “What’s been the highlight of your week?” It’s a simple shift, but it invites much richer and more meaningful interactions.
  • When your child gets home from school or kindy, instead of asking “Did you have a good day?”, try asking “What was the best / funniest / most unexpected thing that happened today?” With that one simple shift, you’ll be gently helping your child develop a positive mental filter through which to view life.

Of course, this point has a necessary flipside: great listening. Be sure to truly listen to what the other person has to say, not project onto them, anticipate their words, or race to add your own thoughts the second they finish speaking.

3. Uncomfortable questions can reveal powerful truths.

Often, the questions we resist asking are the ones that hold the key to our growth. 

If a question makes you uncomfortable, it can be a sign that it’s worth exploring. 

Some of my favorite questions for unveiling hidden barriers, and paving the way for breakthroughs, are: 

  • “What am I avoiding?”
  • “What am I pretending is working, but really isn’t?”
  • “What am I afraid to admit to myself?”

4. Open-ended questions can lead to profound innovation.

The most successful entrepreneurs and creatives are those who consistently question the status quo and seek new perspectives.

In your business and creative projects, great questions to ask to put you (and your team) in the right mindset for innovation and problem-solving include open-ended, constructive questions, like:

  • “What if…?”
  • “How could we do this differently?”
  • “What would this look like if it was simpler / easier?”
  • “What are we overlooking?”
  • “What assumptions are we making in our current approach, and how might they be limiting us?”
  • “What would happen if we reversed our current strategy?”

5. Finally, questions can also be a tool for greater mindfulness.

You can also use questions to become more present and mindful. 

Make it a habit to regularly ask yourself questions like: 

  • “What am I grateful for right now?”
  • “What’s beautiful in this moment?”
  • “How can I release my expectations and be even more present?” 

Questions like this are one of the simplest ways to transform an “ordinary” day into a deeply fulfilling experience.


Here are 5 game-changing questions that I love to ask myself in my journal, to expand my sense of possibility and hit my goals with more speed and alignment.

  1. What makes me feel fully alive, and how can I incorporate more of it into my life?
  2. How do my daily actions align with my long-term goals?
  3. In what ways am I living according to my deepest values? Where is there room for improvement?
  4. Who is inspiring me right now? Which of their qualities am I drawn to most and why?
  5. How can I turn the biggest challenge I’m facing right now into an opportunity for learning and growth?

So: what question will you ask today to change your life for the better? 

You’ve got this, Beautiful! ✨

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Til next time, sending so much love,

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Hi Gorgeous, I'm Melissa.

Multiple bestselling author, #1 podcast host and TEDx speaker.



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