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Over the years, I developed a set of life principles that have allowed me — along with thousands of others I have coached and mentored — to live a life they love. 

These beliefs have been specifically designed to help your brain slide into a state of heightened positivity where anything is possible. Embody it, and you’ll find that creating change is easier, taking inspired action feels natural, and setbacks no longer derail you. Think of these 14 mindset beliefs like a superhero mask for your mind — slip it on, and you’ll be unstoppable.

Principle 1: Take radical responsibility for your life.

You have created the life that you’re currently living, no one else. 

Yes, there are circumstances that are outside your control. Yes, you might even have been dealt a craptacular hand. But you have been responsible for how you reacted in the face of all that. You have decided when you’ve shown up, and when you’ve given up. You have decided when you’ve broken down, and when you’ve broken through. 

The sooner you can break the habit of blaming others or your circumstances for what your life looks like, the sooner you’ll be poised to grab the wheel and steer exactly where you want to go.

This is the first and most important principle; the one which everything else depends on. Take radical responsibility for your life and you will never look back.

Principle 2: If you don’t like the reality you’ve created, create again.

If you’re looking at your life right now, and you don’t like what you’ve created, that’s okay. You can create again and again (and again). You can start creating right now, in your very next breath if you wish. You are the writer, director, producer and actor of your own life.

Every moment is a clean slate, from which you can create anew. And it’s never EVER too late to make another choice, take a different route, and create a brand new future.

Principle 3: Don’t create from a place of fear.

If you go after a goal out of fear or desperation, you’ll only push it further away. This is because if you’re fearful of something, you’re actually pouring energy into it, and you’ll start to see the Universe reflecting that energy back at you.

It’s totally okay to have goals, to want change, and to want something. But it’s important to channel this energy into taking inspired action, and then release your expectations and attachment to the outcome. Loosen that white-knuckled grip, and trust that the Universe will give you exactly what you need when you need it. Remember, the Universe is always working for you, not against you.  

Principle 4: Polarity will always exist.

Life will always unfold with equal amounts of support and challenge. Yin and yang. Black and white. Up and down. Hot and cold. On and off. Masculine and feminine. 

This means you can let go of the notion (and the pressure!) to be happy all the time, to win all the time, to feel ‘on’ all the time… That’s not how life works, and trying to attain it is a waste of your precious energy.

It also means that if you’re going through a tough time, you can take comfort in the knowledge that it too shall pass — just like everything else on this mortal plane. And just over this challenging hill is always support; there’s always darkest just before the dawn.

Principle 5: Change what you can, surrender to what you can’t.

There are some things that are completely beyond your control. (Including, but not limited to: the past, the future, the weather, the traffic, the economy, the passage of time, what other people think of you, how other people behave, where you came from, how old you are, death, taxes, and the price of petrol.)

Many people spend their time railing against issues like these, wasting precious time and energy, when if they only accepted them, they could start creating meaningful change in other areas of their life.

So focus on the things you can control, and take huge, hairy, radical inspired action towards them. And if you’re feeling stuck, or having trouble figuring out what to do…

Principle 6: Wear solution spectacles (not problem pants).

It’s easy to look for problems, to find a million reasons why you can’t change your life, or why one of our suggestions won’t work for you. But you know what? Finding problems is easy. Anyone can do it.

What takes much more determination is to flip a situation on its head and find a way to make it work, even in the face of competing circumstances. This takes courage, curiosity, and an enquiring mind.

So strip off your problem pants and pop on your solution spectacles. Search for answers, not problems. Instead of saying to yourself, ‘This will never work for my situation’. Ask instead, ‘How can I make this work for me?’

Principle 7: Be the scientist of your life.

Look at your journey through the eyes of a scientist: hunt for evidence, look at the data, and stay mindful of the feedback you’re getting from yourself, your life, and the Universe.

Principle 8: The Universe has ears.

The Universe has ears. It’s always listening to your thoughts and words, and it will give you more of what you affirm. 

So if you’re always saying how tired you are, guess what? The Universe will keep giving you more of that. If you always say that you have no money, or will never get out of debt, or will never feel better again, then the Universe is going to serve more of that up on a silver platter. 

So be impeccable with your words and thoughts. Don’t say or think anything that you don’t want to manifest.

Principle 9: Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

Adopting an attitude of gratitude will open your eyes up to all the joy and wonder that’s right in front of you. It will also make the ride a whole lot more enjoyable.

So train your brain to identify things you’re thankful for. As soon as you’re on the lookout for things to be grateful for, you’ll be amazed at just how much you find.

Principle 10: Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

If you want to change your life, you’re going to have to do something you’ve never done before. This, by definition, means getting out of your comfort zone. And that means getting uncomfortable.

This is where a lot of people are halted in their tracks. Because feeling uncomfortable feels… well, uncomfortable! It can make you feel nervous, anxious, icky, fearful and more.

But feeling uncomfortable is just like any other feeling — it will pass. 

So instead of suppressing it, acknowledge how you feel, sit with it, and celebrate the fact that if you’re feeling uncomfy as you go after your goals, it means you’re headed in the right direction: forwards. There’s growth on the other side of that feeling… but only if you keep moving through it. 

If you’re still feeling the urge to run and hide, remember this: there’s a direct correlation between your success and your ability to tolerate discomfort. The more you can get out of your comfort zone and deal with that icky feeling, the more greatness you’re going to achieve.

Principle 11: Keep your eyes on your own lane.

There will always be someone out there who’s further down the track than you, who’s achieved more, who’s done it faster, bigger, better, whatever.

And you know what? That’s none of your beeswax! And if you’re going to measure yourself against others, you’ll always feel behind.

The only thing that matters is that YOU work towards YOUR goal. That’s it. Focus on that, and you’ll get there when the time is right for you.

Principle 12: Free yourself from perfectionism.

Perfectionism is just fear in fancy clothing. Trying to be perfect will only slow your progress and keep you small.

The imperfect action you take, is better than the perfect plan that’s never executed.

Principle 13: Cultivate resilience.

There will be bumps in the road. You may encounter fear, anger, frustration, stuckness, or any number of other possibilities. It’s how you react to those road bumps that matter most. Do you lose it, or learn from it? The choice is yours, so choose wisely. 

Principle 14: Trust the process.

Show up for yourself, even when it feels tough.

If you trust the process, and apply yourself consistently, you WILL see results.

I live by these 14 life principles and they have changed mine and so many others’ lives.

Do you have any to add to the list? Share below and tell me the first principle you are going to embody today? 


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  1. Jana says:

    This is my favorite blog post everrr! Loved it! <3 Jana

  2. Tiziana says:

    Thank you to share these principles, couldn’t agree more good reminder!

  3. Love these principles Melissa, especially get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Previously being uncomfortable would stop me in my tracks, thanks to a shift in perspective I now view it as a signal that something remarkable is on the way so keep going!

    One that I’m going to implement, that I’ve been focusing on recently is releasing perfectionism! XXX

  4. Gina says:

    Hello Melissa. I’m 61 years old and discovered your podcast about two weeks ago. I’ve been listening to it nearly everyday since. It’s a challenge to reframe one’s thinking and inner critic at this age but I’m determined to do it—not only to live my life with more grace and acceptance but to model it for my 23 year old daughter, who is navigating adulthood.

    You are incredibly inspirational and I am so grateful I found you. Thank you.

    • WOW Gina, I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing! I know it can feel challenging to reframe your thinking, but YOU CAN DO IT. I believe in you. You’re so inspiring and such an amazing role model for your daughter. Keeping shining honey. xx

  5. Rowena says:

    Wow I needed to read this today. Think I might print it out even. Really struggling at the moment and need guidance so much.

  6. Johanna says:

    This is epic! Thanks for sharing! I loved “Don´t create from a place of fear”, I think I lost much energy for that in the recent days. But I am gonna change it into a more loving and inspirational goal. There has to be some trust 🙂

  7. Aimee says:

    This was perfectly timed for me, and I have taken alot of comfort from it. Thank you!

  8. Rachael says:

    Wow! “Perfectionism is just fear in fancy clothing” BOOM! This is something that I needed to hear. You have such integrity with everything you write Melissa! Great blog post!

  9. Sarah T says:

    Loved it. Thank you. What I needed to read right now

  10. Anita says:

    Thank you for this, I needed shaking out of my “problem pants” and this article has given me a fresh push. I will be applying some of your principles, starting with #1. We don’t get anywhere without taking ownership do we?

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Hi Gorgeous, I'm Melissa.

Multiple bestselling author, #1 podcast host and TEDx speaker.



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