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I love nothing more than people speaking their truth. None of this beating around the bush, pretending everything is rosy and walking on egg shells. Just say it how it is, Goddamnit!
We beat around the bush because we are so scared of being rejected by others. We will manipulate situations in order to feel loved, accepted, and approved of; the ultimate desires of human beings. In fact, we humans will do anything to feel the big three — love, acceptance, and approval — even suppress our own truth. Crazy, huh?!
Last week, I had a few different situations come up with some girlfriends. We all called each other on our stuff. Yes, it can feel scary and uncomfortable. But what’s more uncomfortable is suppressing your own truth.
One of my besties called me yesterday and said, “Mel, I felt sad when you said blah blah blah….” After we had an open dialogue about it, we resolved the misunderstanding, and I shared with her how proud of her I was for actually coming to me and sharing how she felt. I know it’s not easy.
But the thing is, I want authentic relationships in my life. None of this fake stuff! I want the real deal. So, if that means speaking my truth and sharing how I feel, then so be it.
When something comes up for me, I speak it straight away. I used to suppress it and let it boil up inside me for weeks, months, even years. I now believe that is how illness and disease manifest in the body. So, no more of that, thank you!
If you want authentic relationships in your life, try these steps next time you find yourself in a situation where you are about to suppress your truth:
- Take a few deep breaths.
- Open your chest and shoulders.
- Ground both your feet firmly into the earth.
- Connect with your solar plexus and speak from your heart. If you notice yourself going up to your head, don’t speak. Reground yourself. Make sure you are completely grounded before you open your mouth. That way, everything you say will be coming from your heart and not your head (aka your Mean Girl).
Check in with yourself now. Do you have authentic relationships in your life? Or are there a few that, quite frankly, stink? Tell me in the comments below how you are going to cultivate more authentic relationships in your life.
Remember, your comments inspire our tribe so much, so please share your thoughts below.
I love this post Mel! I’ve always thought that speaking your truth shows so much courage, and that admitting fault shows strength not weakness. It can feel really icky speaking your truth, especially to a bestie, but it’s so much better than holding onto those emotions and stewing over it! One of my closest friends always gives the ‘silent treatment’ if she’s pissed with someone…and for weeks. Not at all healthy in my book, but you can’t change people. I hope one day she chooses to voice her opinions as she’s feeling them 🙂
Couldn’t agree more! Unfortunately not everyone appreciates this and is quick to label one as rude.. this cost me a relationship within doterra. Nevertheless I am building a beautiful authentic tribe on my own and couldn’t be prouder!
The silver liner is always there honey. So proud of you. Keep shining. xx
I love this post! And I would love to act accordingly. But I find it really difficult to stand up and say things that the other person surely doesn’t want to hear. And I’m always afraid to not handle it in the right way and make things worse. Or to be resesented afterwards. It is amazing that as kids we learn o many things but no one teaches us how to handle a conflict in a good and respectful way. How to criticise and how to take criticism. But I really want and need to lern how to do it.
It would be great if we were taught these skills as a child or at school, wouldn’t it? Have you read my book Open Wide? I think you will love it as I give so many tips, tools and tricks on how to create epic relationships and practice what I call CCC (Crystal Clear Communication). Have a read and let me know what you think. xx