(Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeart or TuneIn)

What if the only thing standing between you and your biggest goals… is your brain?

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by John Assaraf — brain expert, entrepreneur, and star of The Secret — to explore how to rewire your brain for next-level success and finally break free from the patterns keeping you stuck.

Tune in to discover: why procrastination isn’t laziness (and what it actually reveals about your mindset), how mental rehearsal can fast-track your success, his genius strategy for dissolving limiting beliefs, the mindset shifts that separate thriving entrepreneurs from struggling ones, and the simple “life blueprint” that helps turn big dreams into reality.

So if you’re tired of feeling like your brain is sabotaging your progress — and you’re ready to get it working for you instead of against you — then press play now… this one’s for you!

About John Assaraf

John Assaraf is a world renowned mindset and small business growth expert who has appeared numerous times on Larry King Live, Anderson Cooper, and The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

He has built 5 multimillion dollar companies, written 14 books including 2 New York Times best sellers and appeared in 14 movies including the blockbuster hit “The Secret ” and “Quest For Success” with Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama.

He is passionate in helping people tap into their brain’s superpower so they shatter limitations and achieve their life’s biggest goals and dreams. John founded myNeuroGym.com which is revolutionizing mindset coaching and mental fitness training. His powerful “Innercise app” helps people rewire their brain for unstoppable success.

In this episode we chat about:

• The unexpected story of how he turned his life around (and what it taught him about rewiring the brain) (2:57)
• Want to achieve next-level success? Here’s how to literally rewire your brain to make it happen (14:49)
• The mindset shift that will free you from limiting beliefs, and how you can use it in your business (26:31)
• Why the world’s top performers mentally rehearse their goals — and how to start doing it today (31:43)
• How I used this powerful practice to prepare for birth (36:45)
• His “life blueprint” for achieving big goals (this is a game changer) (37:39)
• How to finally stop your limiting beliefs from running the show — and create lasting change from the inside out (42:34)
• The one book he believes should be taught in every school (and why) (51:12)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
• John Assaraf (website)
• John Assaraf Programs (website)
• Innercise: The #1 Mindset Coaching & Mental Fitness Training App (website)
• Innercise: The New Science to Unlock Your Brain’s Hidden Power by John Assaraf (book)
• Having It All: Achieving Your Life’s Goals and Dreams by John Assaraf (book)
• The Answer: Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Life by John Assaraf (book)
• The Complete Vision Board Kit: Using the Power of Intention and Visualization to Achieve Your Dreams by John Assaraf (book)

Prefer To Read?

The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

Melissa: [00:00:00] The Melissa Ambrosini Show. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, open, wide, comparisonitis and Time Magic. And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word. Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life and become the best version of yourself possible.

Are you ready? Beautiful. Hey, beautiful. Welcome back to the show. I’m so excited about this episode because I absolutely love all things mindset. And for those of you that have never heard of John Asraf, he is a world renowned mindset and small business growth expert who has appeared numerous times on Larry King Live, Anderson Cooper and the Ellen DeGeneres show.[00:01:00] 

He has built five multimillion dollar companies, written 14 books, including two New York Times bestsellers, and appeared in 14 movies, including the Blockbuster Hit, the Secret, and Quest for Success with Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama. He’s passionate in helping people tap into their brain’s superpower so they can shatter limitations and achieve their life’s biggest goals and dreams.

John founded my neuro gym.com, which is revolutionizing mindset coaching and mental fitness training. His powerful inner size app helps people rewire their brain for unstoppable success and for everything that we mention in today’s episode, you can check out in the show notes, and that’s over@melissaambrosini.com slash 6 5 7.

Now let’s bring on the incredible John, and let’s dive in.

John, welcome to the show. I’m so [00:02:00] excited to have you here. But before we dive in, can you tell us what you had for breakfast this morning? 

John: The same thing. I have almost every breakfast after my workout, I do a protein smoothie with turmeric fiber, ginger jalapeno. Maka cilium, almond milk, berries, which is raspberry, blueberry, blackberry, half a banana, so Omega-3, six, and nine oil in there.

And that’s about what it usually is every day. 

Melissa: I have to say that I have asked that question to every guest on this show, over 600 people, and no one has ever put jalapeno in their smoothie. 

John: Oh, I love spicy. I love the little bit of the sweetness, and I love the spicy, and so 

Melissa: I love it 

John: mixture. So I just, I, I do it for taste and for for help 

Melissa: each to their own.

You gotta do what feels right for you, so I love that. Now, tell me how you got into [00:03:00] this work. How did this all unfold for you? Take us back and tell us how this all unfolded for you. 

John: It really started between the age of 13 and 18. I had flunked out of school. I was in detention centers. I had failed English, failed math.

I was involved in a little group of guys that stole, lied, cheated, sold drugs, did drugs, did break hand entries, a lot of illegal things to try and fit in. My parents had moved earlier from Israel where I was born to Montreal and I spoke Hebrew. I was just starting to learn how to read and write Hebrew when I was five.

I was a couple years into into playing that and I moved to a whole new country with, I didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak French and just fell behind. And I ended up just getting into a lot of trouble with other immigrants who didn’t fit in that didn’t catch up fast enough. And by the time I was 15, it was just getting really, really bad.

And that was like 15, 16, 17, 18, that things were getting a [00:04:00] little bit dangerous. And my brother, who was a tennis pro had finished playing the circuit all over the world and he was teaching this man tennis. I was living in Montreal, Canada, Toronto, Canada was a booming city, and it was about 500 kilometers from Montreal, 350 miles.

And my brother said, Hey, why don’t you come over to Toronto? I’ll introduce you to this guy. Maybe you know, he can give you a job, maybe he can help you out. And at the time, I was working in the shipping department of a huge company called Phillips Electronics that is all over the world. And I was packing boxes, unpacking books, packing boxes, unbox, packing ’em up.

And I hated, hated what I was doing, but I didn’t have a way out. I was, I was uneducated for the most part. Didn’t think I was smart because I didn’t do well in school. And I went to to Toronto. I took the train and met my brother at the train station. We went to meet this gentleman, his name was Alan Brown.

And lunch, he said like, why are you getting into so much trouble? I said, proverbial, I don’t know. [00:05:00] Just hanging out with my buddies. We’re trying to make some money. And so we’re doing all these things. My brother filled him in, obviously, and everything I was doing. He asked me like, what do you wanna achieve in your life?

And I said, well, I want a better job. ’cause I was making, at the time, a dollar 65 an hour. I was living with my mom and dad. I was 19. And to go to work every day to take the bus and the subway, which was an hour and 15 minutes each way, five 30 in the morning, start five o’clock at night, head back. And it was miserable.

I just hated my life. And at breakfast or at lunch, this man said to me, he says, well, what are some of your bigger goals and dreams? I just like, I, I don’t have any. And he said to me, he said, uh, by the way, what, what he, what ended up happening, changed my life. He said, would you be okay answering a few questions if I gave you a document?

And I said, sure, I’ll answer any question. And he gives me this document and it had like, I don’t know, 8, 9, 10 questions. And the first question, and remember, I’m 19. First question is, at what [00:06:00] age do you want to retire and what. Retire. My dad’s a cab driver. My mother works as a seamstress. They’re not retired.

Like what? What am I supposed to put there? And he said, pick a number. And I said, is 45? Okay? I was 19 at the time. I said, is 45 okay, like 26 years from now? He goes, sure, put it down. I said, okay. First answer 45. Second question was, upon retirement, how much net worth do you want to have? I’m like, scratching my head a little bit.

’cause I didn’t know what net worth was. I’m feeling stupid again. So I said, excuse me, sir, what does net worth mean? He says, well, if you have assets like a house and a car and jewelry and art and investments, minus how much you owe for it, that difference is your net assets. I go, well, what am I supposed to put there?

And he said, just pick a number. I’m like, well, I don’t know how much money I would need for retirement. My, no, my family doesn’t have any money. He [00:07:00] goes, well, you’re probably gonna need a few million dollars. And I said, is 3 million gonna be enough? And he goes, sure. Put that down. And the next question was, what kinda life do you wanna live?

I goes, oh, that’s easy. I wanna travel the world. I want nice Italian clothes. I want a Mercedes-Benz. I want a four bedroom home. I want to retire. My parents, I wrote all this stuff down and he says, okay, let me read what you wrote. And so I give it to him. He says, okay, retired age, 45, $3 million. Travel the world.

Help your parents buy a car, buy a hole, all this stuff. He says, this is, this is great. He says, if you could achieve that, would you consider that an ordinary life or extraordinary life? I all, Mr. Brown, this would be extraordinary. And he goes, you’re right. He says, well, first thing, all of this is achievable, but if you answer this one question, this will determine whether you’ll achieve all of these things and live this extraordinary life.

1. I could tell you back then, I was thinking in my head, yeah, sure. One question’s gonna determine whether [00:08:00] I have and achieve all these things. He, he leans in, he said, son, are you interested in living this dream life or are you committed to living it? I’m like, I’m interested, committed, committed, interested.

I said, excuse me sir. What’s the difference? A game changer. He says, people who are interested and goals and dreams, but they allow their identity to control their behavior. They allow their beliefs, their past, their present circumstances, the knowledge they have, the skills they have, the resources they have or don’t have to control what they do and what they decide they commit to.

But people who are committed, upgrade their identity, pointed it at his brain like his head. He says they upgrade what they believe to be true about them. They upgrade what they believe is possible. They upgrade their knowledge, their skills, and they upgrade their daily habits to match the vision and goals and lifestyle they want.[00:09:00] 

He said, since all of these are doable, which are you interested or committed? And I don’t know why, but out of my mouth just came out. Well, in that case, sir, I’m committed. And he leans in smiling, puts his hand down. He goes, well, in that case son, I will be your mentor. And I said, wow, thank you Mr. Brown.

Well what’s a mentor? I was that ignorant and green. And so he explained to me and then he said, listen, for me to mentor you, I need you here in Toronto. I said, well, I can’t come to Toronto. I don’t know anybody here other than you, my brother. He says, well, I need you here ’cause I can’t mentor you in Montreal.

By the way, there was no internet back then, right? It was like, it was like the beginning of mobile phones just started. We had mobile phones that are like three, four pounds. He said, so I need you to move here and after bantering back and forth, it’s fine. I need you to enroll in the real estate school, it’s [00:10:00] $500.

It takes five. He said, $500. I don’t have any money. I’m not gonna go back to, I failed English. I failed math. I left high school, grade 11. I gave all the excuses, says, stop. Listen to yourself. You’re already giving me stories and excuses why you can’t. But I said them, but it’s true. He says, people who are successful don’t allow present circumstances to control their thinking.

’cause your results right now are based on what you did or didn’t do in the past. You’re just seeing the effect Now. To change the effect you have to change the cause of the effect. So are you moving here or not? Yes. Are you gonna find the money, yes or no? Yes. And then are you gonna go to real estate school so I can get you working in my company?

Yes. Borrowed $500 for my mother, sister, and brother. Moved there three weeks later, enrolled in real estate school five weeks after that, June 20th, 1980. To put into perspective, I passed my real estate test, got my certificate, and do you know why I remember these dates so well? [00:11:00] It was first test I had passed without cheating in many, many, many years.

It was the first taste, maybe I’m not dumb. Maybe I can do something with my life. And then every day he had me looking at the life that I wanted to live, and he had me run my fingers on the paper that I wrote on left, right? He had me close my eyes and visualize it. He had me write down what I would need to believe in order to make what I wrote, which was a fantasy, a reality, a.

So I wrote down, I’m so happy and grateful for the fact that I am smart enough to achieve all of my goals. I’m so happy and grateful for the fact that I can learn whatever I need to learn, to upgrade my knowledge and skill so that they match the behaviors that I need to achieve my goals. I am smart. I, I wrote these affirmations that he helped me write and that I recorded them on some cassette tapes.

We didn’t have Recorders [00:12:00] worlds back then. I recorded them and every day I would look at my goals every day. I would read them every day. I would close my eyes and visualize them, and I would affirm to myself that this is my new reality. And then I’d hear this little voice in my head that says, that’s bullshit.

And that was the beginning of me learning a little bit about the power within me to take my brain and focus on what I wanted versus what I didn’t want. To write words that were lies these new affirmations. I was affirming a lie at the time, something that wasn’t real. But he explained to me that practice creates permanent patterns and we are conditioned.

And at the time there was a lot of research with, with athletes, astronauts and seals training their brain using some of these techniques. And so [00:13:00] literally 45 years ago, I started on this path and I learned how to be a real estate agent. And then I traveled the world, which I mentioned to you earlier when I was 22 and 23, and then I came back and started my own real estate company called re max of Indiana.

Proceeded to open up 85 offices over 10 years and had 1,200 salespeople. He was the, the light, the spark that got all of it going. And that was the beginning of it. And I have not stopped studying the human brain as a behavioral neuroscience researcher and and neuropsychology researcher. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on in all of our beautiful brains and how do we use it a little bit better?

Melissa: I love that. And how powerful are mentors and how grateful you must be to that person at such a young age for taking you under [00:14:00] his wing and guiding you. Like it’s just so powerful. I didn’t have that. I had my kind of spiritual awakening when I was 23, and I did seek out mentors then. But I just think about how powerful it would be in high school to have someone take you under their wing and ask them the questions that you got asked.

Like, so powerful. So. I talk about having mentors and coaches in all areas of your life and how important that is. Like I have multiple coaches for different things in my life, and I always will, because I always wanna grow and evolve, and I talk about that voice inside your head, that self-doubt. I call that your Inner Ming girl, and that’s my first book, mastering Your Inner Mingle.

I wrote that because I had to master that voice inside my head, and I wanna talk to you about success and the brain’s ability to rewire it to success. So how do we actually do that? Like [00:15:00] I wanna get super tangible. How do we do that? 

John: So I think the first thing to help all of us understand is if we go back just past 20 years ago, most scientists believe that we were.

Born hardwired. They called it like we, we were born with character traits, with beliefs, with habits, with values like our mother and father, grandparents, and our heritage. And you’re, you’re just like your mother. You’re just like your grandmother. You look just like him. You look just like her. You behave, oh my God, like your uncle or your aunt.

And so we used to believe that we, we are born this way. But then we later discovered one of my friends, Dr. Michael Zenni, is professor emeritus at one of the top universities in the world, discovered through the, the, the use of technology. We used to study brains like dead brains, cadavers, but with the advancements of functional magnetic resonance imaging machines or spec scans where we can actually look deeper into the brain, we can [00:16:00] see that our brain is creating these networks or connections.

So we’re not hardwired, we’re soft wired. And we used to believe that our brain does not create any new brain cells, but we now know something called neurogenesis. Our brain does create new brain cells, but the brain cells that we have, almost every brain cell is connected to 7,000 other brain cells, neural pathways or connections like highways in the hippocampus part of the brain.

It’s going to like a hundred different parts in the brain. Now, why is that important? It’s important because. We’ve discovered something that goes like this. The, the brain cells or neurons that fire together wire together all the way into our fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties. It’s harder as we get older because there’s something called a neuroplasticity switch.

When we’re born, it’s fully on, and these connections are being made. They’re, we’re hearing voices, we’re smelling [00:17:00] stuff. We’re we’re tasting food. We’re, we’re, we’re feeling mommies or daddy’s skin. And so all of these connections are creating these, this highway, this map of reality for us. And then around 12, 13 years old, it turns off.

And now we reinforce the patterns that we were taught, whether it’s, you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, you’re beautiful, you’re handsome, you’re not, you’re, you’ll amount, you can achieve whatever you want. You’ll never amount to much. We weren’t born with one belief. We weren’t born with one fear. We weren’t born with any self-image, and we weren’t born with any skills.

And so if we go back and we go, well, if I wasn’t born with thinking I’m worthy or good enough where whether I can be in great shape and have a lot of energy, or I’m attractive or I’m not, or I can make a hundred thousand dollars or, or a million dollars. Once these patterns are created, then they’re reinforced.

So the question becomes, if we [00:18:00] can actively fire the neurons right, and get the neurons to to wire deliberately, how do we do that? And the answer is, for example, when I visualize seeing myself, let’s say overcoming a disempowering habit or destructive habit, or one that’s just limiting me and visualizing that, I’m actually letting that old one go.

Feeling empowered and I’m visualizing what I want to, to think, feel, believe, and how I wanna behave and what I want to achieve. We know that there’s very, very specific circuits in the brain that are turned on. So for example, we visualize the, one of the largest parts of the brain, the back of the brain called the occipital lobe, lights up like a Christmas tree, but [00:19:00] it’s connected now to the fear center or the motivational center.

So if we’re visualizing something bad happening, it deactivates motivation and we reinforce a fear pattern. But if I visualize success. Feeling good, making a difference, doing better, being a wonderful mom or dad, giving, contributing to the world, doing better financially or in business. Then I’m firing these neurons which are connected to, let’s say the dopamine reward center in the brain.

So all of these networks and circuits work together, and when we fire off certain circuits and sequences, they wire together and now we reinforce a new neural pattern. And there’s something that’s really, really important to understand When we do something like visualize and affirm and be mindful or meditate or do cognitive behavior therapy, all tools we can use one time or two times or three times.

That’s like [00:20:00] going to the gym and taking a weight and doing one or two or three bicep curls or, or going to do one yoga class or doing one palani class or go a friend, one walk on the beach. It’s nice. It’s fun to get the benefit for the day. But you’re not creating a habitual pattern. And here’s what the latest research from the university in Kingston, Ontario, two years ago came up with.

It takes us about 66 days to 365 days to create and reinforce a new pattern. So not a day, not a weekend, not a week, 66 days to 365 days. And what does that mean? It means that if I, if I affirm, if I visualize, if I meditate, if I do mindful techniques, if I do cognitive behavior techniques, if I use the techniques to strengthen certain parts of my brain, whether it’s my parietal lobes or my motivational circuit and I do it consistently, [00:21:00] something called automaticity happens.

So anything we repeat, our brain makes automatic so, so. Either way, consistency is what compounds. So if I’m consistently thinking I’m not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, I can’t because I’m this or that, or I’m not, I can’t because I, I don’t have this or I don’t have that, or because of him or because of her, or because dont my past.

If we keep reinforcing that consistency of reinforcement creates and or makes the patterns that we already have stronger. So the first thing to do is to develop what I call is a, a daily priming, and I call it inner size class. Like every morning when I wake up, I start off with gratitude. Why? ’cause when I am grateful, I’m activating the motivational circuit in my brain.

I’m activating the dopamine circuit, the serotonin circuit, the oxytocin circuit in my brain. When [00:22:00] I do that, I release the neurochemicals will make me feel good. When I put my feet on the floor, I go, oh my God, thank you. I another day to walk. I’m in a state of gratitude, and then instead of getting on my phone and looking at what’s happening in the world that’s mostly negative in the news, I go and I do my meditation, and then I do my series of inner sizes, which is a series of affirmations, visualizations, mindfulness techniques, future pacing techniques to to, to see myself achieving the goals that I wanna achieve.

And I’m giving my brain the instruction. This is what I want to wire. So I work on self-talk, emotional regulation and training my brain like I do my physical body every day. And it doesn’t matter if I’m in Australia seeing you and artica, London, pa, it doesn’t matter. My routine to activate and use my brain better happens every day.

And so when we [00:23:00] innercise, we can strengthen key neuro muscles. So one of the key neural muscles we wanna strengthen is our beliefs, neural muscles, and do we have empowering beliefs or disempowering beliefs? They’re just patterns that have been reinforced. Self-image, self-worth, self-esteem, identity. Do you have an identity that matches your destiny that you want?

Or is there a disconnect there? There’s something called sympathetic resonance, and I, I like to study the, the neuroscience, but also quantum physics a little bit and understanding wave function and, and particles and waves. And in the quantum field world, something called sympathetic resonance. And sympathetic resonance is when your vision, your goals, your beliefs, and your behaviors are aligned.

And so in the ocean, for example, which I. I’m sure where you live your, you go to [00:24:00] imagine there’s a five foot wave. And the five foot wave is shing along in the ocean and it intersects with another five foot wave. Most people don’t know this, but it becomes a 10 foot wave. Now if you have a three foot wave and it intersects with a seven foot wave, the wave gets collapsed, and that’s called destructive interference.

So when we have a vision or goals that are X, but we believe I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, it’s not the right time. We have destructive interference. So what are we? We are energy, right? Hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon. We are a molecular structure, an atomic structure. And thoughts have a frequency In resonance.

Emotions are the, is the energy in motion? And if your thoughts and your emotions do not match up with your behaviors. To move you towards your goals and dreams. You have destructive interference. And if we [00:25:00] know that we wanna get into sympathetic resonance as much as possible, then the question becomes, what are my daily rituals to get myself aligned with the vision I have for my life, my family, my my business, the world?

What are the goals that I have to move towards, right? What are the beliefs I must have in order to make this a reality? And then what are my behaviors that’ll help me achieve the goal? And what I tell all of my students is think of any, any area of your life, health, wealth, relationships, career, business, money, it doesn’t matter.

Ask yourself, what’s a goal you’d love to achieve? Whatever it is, and ask yourself this question, if you were committed, is how to achieve that available in one minute. Right now using ai, one minute I have the how the planned. For any goal you want to achieve. And that means that just because you don’t know how, [00:26:00] doesn’t mean you can’t have the vision and the goals ’cause the how is the easiest part of the equation.

But you’re probably in your own way. Either you believe you don’t deserve it, you believe you’re not good enough, you believe you’re too old or too young, or you’re, you’re, you’re too Asian or Caucasian or male. Or you have beliefs that disempower you. You have habits that disempower you. You have self-talk that disempowers you.

You have emotional states that disempower you because you’re not in control of them. 

Melissa: So powerful. So let’s do this practically. So someone who has like a limiting belief of I can’t make $20,000 a month in my business, whatever it is, I can’t make $50,000, whatever their income goal is. How would you help them move past that?

Yeah. 

John: So first we help them understand what is a limiting belief. What is a belief? Forget about a limiting belief. What is any belief, right? You weren’t born with it as a baby, you have it now. I [00:27:00] can’t make 20,000. I don’t know how to make 20,000. I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy enough. It’s impossible to do it.

So I have this belief and I got that belief either through my mother, my father, my sister, my brother, my parents, my teachers, the people I worked with went to school, whatever. It’s, but that is a pattern in the brain that’s been reinforced. And now I have evidence for that belief. I have evidence and with evidence while it’s the truth, and now I have biases towards that truth.

But in the brain, it’s nothing more than a pattern that’s been created. So what if I start off with this simple technique and if I have a belief that I can’t. Then your brain says, okay, let me make that your reality. It just does. That’s the way our brain works. It projects whatever you believe. It’s the lens by which you see the world, but it’s also the lens by which you act because you have to make your beliefs, your reality, or else you’d go crazy.

So your brain looks for evidence in the form, right, of what [00:28:00] it deletes and distorts. So what if we just started off and said, Hey, would you like to change that belief so that you can be more empowered? And most people say yes. And what if we just started for the next two weeks? I want you to write this down.

In the past I used to believe and write now the disempowering, negative, destructive, I used to believe blank, blank, or blank. And now I’m deliberately choosing to believe that I am smart enough, good enough, capable of enough to achieve the goal of at least $20,000 a month or more. Excites me beyond belief.

So now what have I just done in the brain when I have a belief? That is implicit meaning in my subconscious mind, that is disempowering me. Then it’s running on autopilot. Remember? But if now all of a sudden, for the next two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, I take two minutes, three minutes a day, putting that belief in the past, I used to believe this, and now I’m choosing to [00:29:00] believe this, and here’s how I feel about it.

And as a result of this, I’m gonna take one or two action steps to prove this right, and to start believing this. Now, who’s instructing their brain now? Who’s telling their brain? I’m giving you a new instruction. In the past used to believe this ’cause we’re not our brain. We have a brain. You’re not your heart.

You’re not your your body, right? We, we have these organs and our brain is the most powerful organism in the universe. It is growing, it’s pruning, it’s creating new pathways. So if every day. I start off with gratitude. If every day I take one or two or three of my disempowering or destructive beliefs, and I just put myself on a path of firing and wiring my own brain, this is what I call as deliberate conscious evolution of myself.

I’m gonna deliberately and consciously evolve myself. And I’ve done this for money, for business, for health, for relationships. [00:30:00] I’ve shifted paradigms, my beliefs, my my perspectives, my perception of stuff. So what if I did that? And then writing after I did that, and I felt it. Like in the past I used to feel this and I felt it.

I, I added energy to this affirmation. What if I closed my eyes and I saw myself releasing the old belief? What if I saw myself and felt myself? I. Feeling empowered. I am good enough. What does that feel like? It means that I’m, I’m holding my shoulders up. I’m smiling, I’m coughing, I’m looking in people’s eyes, I’m taking action.

Whereas before I would procrastinate or self-sabotage. So I see myself doing that. And then to finish off this inner size set, I say, what’s one action step? Just one that I could start right now to move in that direction. 

Melissa: Oh, I love this. 

John: Yeah. So now I have [00:31:00] language. I have emotion. I have my visual cortex activated.

I’ve activated my motivational circuit, I’ve decreased. You talk about your voice up over there, you’re gonna see Frankie’s monster. I’ve quietened, I’ve quietened Frankie’s monster. I’m working from the Einstein part of my brain. ’cause now I am deliberately conducting what I want my brain to. And then I’m gonna take one action step.

Small, tiny action step. Just not a big one, a small one, and take one action step towards what I can do to achieve this goal that I want and to prove to yourself. Yes. And now I build self-trust. Now I built self-confidence. Now I build self-esteem. And I wanna give you a little exercise that we could do and, and to put it all into perspective of what, why this works.

I want you to imagine somewhere in Australia, you’re sitting at a coffee shop or a tea shop or ice cream shop or whatever the case is, and you’re just with some girlfriends or some guy [00:32:00] friends or your family, whatever the case is. And over the court of your eye, Russell Crow, and he’s where you’re at like, Hey, hey honey, look, look, it’s Russell Crow.

And he looks at, at let’s say your family and he comes up to you and your husband and he says, Hey, I’m Russell Crow. We say, oh, we know who you are. He says, listen, I just finished reading this script. I. I’m going to be starring in with Tom Cruise and, and Melody Griffith and maybe, what’s your other famous Australian gal?

Melissa: Nicole Kidman. 

John: Nicole Kidman. And you know what I, I’d like to have your whole family in the movie, and here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna pay you 5 million Ozzy dollars and there’s a script that you all need to learn. We just finished reading the script and, and you would be perfect for it as a family.

How many of you would do it? And by the way, we’re gonna teach you how to act and we’re gonna teach you the lines. We’re gonna teach you everything. We’re filming about six, seven months from now here in Australia. 5 million Aussie dollars are on the [00:33:00] line. Would you say yes to begin with? Yes. Yeah. Okay. So now, what would be the process?

You have never seen the script he’s talking about. It’s on, it’s on like a piece of paper. It’s just been authorized to, to be filmed. What would be the process to take a script for each one of you? Slightly different. How would you become that role so that six months from now when they’re filming you, you don’t have to hold the script and read what’s gone there.

How would you become that role? 

Melissa: You would embody it 

John: how 

Melissa: research. 

John: So you’d research it. Great. What else would you do? 

Melissa: Look to other people who have done it. 

John: Great. And then what else would you do to learn the script? Would you read it? 

Melissa: Memorize, 

John: how would you memorize it? 

Melissa: By reading it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

John: Until the unfamiliar became familiar and the familiar became unconscious or subconscious. [00:34:00] Now, in reading it, would you be firing neurons and wiring neurons around the language in the research? You’d understand the role, the incantation, the the, the volume that you need to speak at, whether it’s slow. If you had to learn how to be really angry for the role, or, oh my God, this is, oh, I’m sorry.

This is so exciting. We here, you’d have to learn some of those things, right? And in the learning practice makes permanent. So you would practice the role, you’d read it, you’d, you’d audiotape yourself. You might videotape yourself, you’d see yourself, you’d get critiqued up in the practice. You make mistakes, but you tweak and adjust and tweak and adjust and tweak and adjust.

And, oh my God, this is so hard and I don’t know if I could ever do this until one day you don’t need the script anymore. You, you could do it ad-lib. You can bring on the emotions without like having to like work up and on the emotions. And so you slowly learn the [00:35:00] self-talk, the language, you slowly learn the emotions, right?

That you practice. ’cause it’s a role, it’s a, it’s a new identity. You’re creating like a, like an altered ego. And then slowly but surely, 30 days, 90 days, 180 days, you’re ready in front of the camera with all the other actors and actresses and boom, it’s show. And you start off as a clumsy beginner, and now you’re filming a movie with Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman.

So what happened in the brain? What happened in the brain is you fired new neurons, you wired new neurons, you reinforced new neurons. And then guess what? 10, 20, 30 years later, bam. You could recite that song. You can recite that, that thing you might need a little bit of of practice to get, get, get it rolling again.

But how do you develop a new identity? You practice one. How do you develop new beliefs? You practice them. How do you, how do you develop the, the emotional regulation you need? ’cause you’re not your emotions, [00:36:00] but most people let their emotions control them. So when you’re in a state of fear, do you know how to calm yourself down to use fear as fuel?

Most people What? No, that’s because you haven’t practiced and rehearsed how to do it. 

Melissa: There’s an element of fake it till you make it. 

John: No, no, no, no, no. In nose. Fake it. 

Melissa: Hmm. Practice. Got it. 

John: Yes. You don’t fake it. You practice it. There’s no need to fake it. It’s okay to say, I don’t believe this right now, and I’m choosing to start to believe this.

You’re ready to, oh, okay. You’re instructing me now. Now I’m instructing my brain. This a hundred billion dollar organism. We haven’t gotten the user’s manual. 

Melissa: Can I give you an example of how I’ve recently done this for myself in my own life? So this is how I live my life. Whatever I’ve wanted to create or call in or manifest, I’ve literally done this.

So I love your [00:37:00] technique. I love this so much and I wanna reiterate it in a moment, but I recently gave birth and I literally rehearsed how my birth was going to play out. Over and over and over in my mind. I visualized it. I wrote it down. I read it every night before bed. I literally took myself there in my meditation and my birth.

I had a dream home, water birth hour and a half at home in my bedroom. Like it was amazing. And that’s literally the power of this rehearsing. 

John: Yeah. I have something I’ve been using for literally 40 years since Alan Brown of modified. It’s called my Exceptional Life Blueprint. And in my blueprint I have pictures of my life, pictures that I’ve, things I’ve created, places I’ve been, things I’m manifesting right now, whether planes, trains, automobiles.

But right over here I have coming something [00:38:00] called the Story of my life. And I’ve taken the time to create two pages of my life. And so. I’ve written out this script, and every day I read the script. I have it recorded to listen to it so that I can teach my brain. This is what I want you to focus on for health, wealth, relationships, career, charity, contribution to the world, to to my family, to charities.

Here’s our travel experiences. Here’s, here’s the thing that I want to trade my life for so that my life ends up being exceptional. And so I have this written out. My vision, my story, everything is in you. My inner mission, my outer mission, my big why. It’s all written out in very, very clear, precise language patterns.

And then I have the beliefs that I need in order to achieve them. [00:39:00] I have the strategies of how I’m gonna achieve my health or wealth or relationship goals, and I have the path, the blueprints to follow. That allows me, when I get off track, which I do, when things don’t work out the way I want to, which they don’t, I’m always able to come back to say, am I committed to trading my life for this?

Melissa: Do you update that blueprint every year, or what’s the process? 

John: Yeah, yeah. I update it probably two, three times a year. That one of the process that I use for setting my goals is usually around November, December, around November, my wife and I will usually be away for a trip or something, and we start our thinking for the next year, and then usually in December we, we take an entire day.

She works on her goals. I work on mine, we work on ours together, and one of my new rules in the last probably 10, 15 years is when I, when I say, Hey, here’s what I’d like to achieve this year. I ask myself, John, [00:40:00] you know what it takes to achieve goals? A lot of people just set goals, but you know what it takes to achieve goals.

Are you committed? To this new goal and I sit and I think, oh my, that’s right. ’cause I’ve gotta retrain my brain. I’ve gotta upgrade this, I’ve gotta stop that. And so I only choose goals that I’m committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve. And I update it. I take things out. We have trips that we wanna take.

So I remove trips that we’ve taken. I’ve add new ones that may have come up. I’ve got my my daily a PM rituals and sometimes they change. So I have everything written out in my playbook. This is my life playbook and I have every area of my life habits I will start to reinforce, habits I will get rid of, or addictions I will get rid of.

I used to be an alcoholic. I stopped that 18 years ago. I used to be addicted to sugar. I haven’t had [00:41:00] refined sugar in 15 months Now. I, I keep releasing what may be holding me back, adding in what will help me, and I just am very deliberate about it and I don’t achieve all of my goals. But compared to the goals I set many, many years ago, I have blown through them many, many, many times.

Over at 63, I have the physique of a 22-year-old just because I just set these goals to see if I can. 

Melissa: Beautiful. Where can we access that book? Or is that just something that you personally do yourself? 

John: It’s my book. I, I have it as a program that my, my clients purchase, so I, I don’t give that away as gifts and I, I have different gifts I can give you and your audience with pleasure.

Melissa: Yeah, that would be amazing. 

John: I just created a, the entire new series of, of small, short books that are 25 pages there, the power of visualization and the [00:42:00] neuroscience of visualization. I have one that’s phenomenal, that’s based on my app that has gone through the roof. Innercise Your Way to Success with all of the methods that you can use to rewire your brain based in neuroscience and the explanation of each one of them.

A lot of stuff we’ve, we’ve already talked about with how to, I’ve got like, I’ve got about 10 of these new little books, the Power of Self-Compassion, cognitive Behavior Therapy. You just tell me which one or two you want, I’ll give it to you and your audience. 

Melissa: Oh my gosh, you’re so sweet. Thank you so much.

We are so grateful. And let’s recap what we do so we have a limiting belief that’s popped up. Say, I’m not confident, or who do you think you are trying to sell your amazing program, or whatever it is. So the limiting belief pops up. Then we have to 

John: write it down. 

Melissa: Write it down. And the language was, I used to believe [00:43:00] 

John: writer.

Melissa: In the past, 

John: we put the belief in the past. We’re giving our brain an instruction, right? In the past and, and think about this. If I said the word, and this may not affect you because of where you live in the world, imagine that there’s a 10 foot snake that’s slithering in your house right now. It might cause a little bit of fear in you because of where you live and you live and you have poisonous snakes.

Or you might go, oh my God, lemme get my camera so I can take a selfie with it. Language fires, neurons in the brain and releases neurochemicals. So when we say in the past, I used to believe this, our brain just goes, oh, okay. In the past is where we’re putting this, and now choosing to believe this, the new power and belief also activates brain cells, electrical activity and, and neurochemicals, right?

So fear, stress, worry, anxiety is releasing cortisol. Whereas when I’m motivated, I’m releasing dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin. The [00:44:00] neurochemicals right of motivation, the motive for action. And, and so if I’m saying in the past, I used to believe this, now I’m choosing to believe this and I’m choosing to feel this right now.

Now I’m being deliberate about my self-talk and my feelings, and now what I’m gonna do to prove myself that this is the new belief I’m reinforcing. I’m gonna take this small little action. We don’t want big action, small little action. Why? Because our brain resists change. And if we just reduce it to the minimal, alright?

If we reduce it to the minimal or the minimum, then we can do it every single day. And if we do it every day, now we have consistency. And so here’s what I tell all my students. First, we focus on the simplicity of a simple habit. So we focus on a simple habit. Like one time a day, one minute a day, two minutes a day, three minutes a [00:45:00] day.

And then we work on after it becomes habitual intensity and complexity. So if you wanna run or jog a marathon, right? 40 kilometers, 26.2 miles, let’s say you’re outta shape and you’re, you’re not healthy. Could you walk one minute today? Or could you sit and stand one time today? A hundred percent right? If you did that every day, like one minute a day for seven days, maybe you would do two minutes the following week and maybe you do five minutes the following week, and maybe by the following week it would be 15 minutes, but now still have 12 months if we wanna run or jog a marathon.

Well, the first two, three months is your warmup. Build the habit, months, learn the nutrition, learn the sleep, learn the exercise, learn the rest. Learn the types of running you should do. So we’re gonna be easy. The beginning. And then we’re gonna add intensity and complexity afterwards. And what happens is, is is the same thing that [00:46:00] happens with the law of compounding interest.

And here’s something I always ask people, what would you, what would you prefer to take one penny today that doubles to two pennies tomorrow, that doubles to 4 cents the next day. That doubles to 8 cents the next day pennies or a million dollars right now, and there’s 31 fees in the month. Most people say, gimme the million.

Gimme the million bucks. Well, here’s what happens. By around date 26 or 27, you have $600,000 and then that doubles you actually, you wait 31 days with 50% more money than the million dollars. That’s the law of consistency compounding effect. So if I just start off easy, reduce it to the easy, the ridiculously easy to do.

And you focus on the habit, the habit will then build you. 

Melissa: Yes. I love that. [00:47:00] Beautiful. 

John: So first, build the habit, then the habit builds you. The problem is most people have habits. They’re just keeping them stuck with whatever health, wealth, relationships, career, business, finances, they’re just are familiar with.

And that’s as of what I talked about earlier. It’s just called automaticity. Our brain has four priorities. Number one, security and safety. Number two, avoiding pain or discomfort. That’s why change is so hard. Number three can conserve energy. Glucose is the most powerful thing that the brain needs sugar and traverses to sugar, right?

And the brain uses 25% of all of our calories, and it does those three things before we do things to gain pleasure. So come about. Number three. We wanna change. We want to achieve our goals, but our brain doesn’t want us to change. It wants to conserve energy. ’cause change requires cognitive energy, emotional energy, and physical energy, everything it wants to hold onto you, [00:48:00] lead.

But if you trick it and you just go, I just need a little bit, I just need a little bit to do this affirmation. I just need a little, this visual, I just need to do a little bit in one little action step. You might go, but you’re gonna do it anyway. And what you need to do is teach yourself counter strategies.

So for example, people are gonna say, yeah, I’m gonna do this starting tomorrow. Then tomorrow what? You’re gonna wake up and you’re gonna hear this little voice that goes, I don’t wanna do it today. You have to teach counter strategies, right? Because our brain, okay, Frankie’s monster wants to get active over here and keep you stuck in your familiar zone.

And so when you, when you hear words like, I don’t feel like it. Here’s your response. I know, I understand. And you gotta do it anyway. I, I know I, I know you, you want to eat that. I know, but, but you’re not going to eat it later, but not now. And you teach yourself to give yourself a command and follow through.

And if the command of what you’re going to do is small enough, [00:49:00] then you can start to interrupt the pattern that is, and create the pattern that you desire. And if we just start off by creating a small little pattern that’s positive, constructive, and empowering, we can then build it. But if we allow, I don’t feel like it.

I’m too tired. I’ll do it later, I’ll do it tomorrow. That’s you holding you back. You’re having an internal battle. And that is destructive interference. And you start to rationalize, which means you start telling yourself, rationalize why you don’t wanna do it. So now you’re not in control again. You’re letting your old conditioning, most of which you didn’t create on your own.

It was your environment. Your parents probably loved you, teachers loved you, siblings loved you. But most people have never been taught thinking, you know, empowering beliefs, [00:50:00] constructive habits. We haven’t been taught that how, how we develop them, how we get rid of them, and how we create and reinforce new ones.

Like, my father and mother didn’t have to use this man. He knows how you raise this child to be confident that I got my dad, beat the shit out of me as a kid, and told me things that a father should never tell a son. So, but fortunately as you and I mentioned before, I had a stroke of luck. My brother was concerned for, for my wellbeing.

He introduced me to this mentor. This mentor took me under his wing, and I, I’ve had mentors. It’s funny, about two weekends ago, I have a whiteboard in my studio over here, and I have the name of about 12 people from the time I was 19 to today that have been the influential people in my life that I get to stand on their shoulders and, and share and teach and pay it forward to other people who may find what we’re talking about of value that maybe it’ll help them break free of something that is holding them [00:51:00] back or maybe holding them hostage and maybe gives them the, the little sparkle in their eye, in their heart that maybe I can do this.

Melissa: Hmm. Absolutely We can. We all can. I love this. 

John: That’s right. 

Melissa: Let’s pretend you have a magic wand and you could put one book in the school curriculum of every high school around the world. Besides your books, what is one book you would choose? 

John: It depends on the age group. 

Melissa: I’m thinking like 17 year olds, females and males.

John: Yeah. It would have to be something around. Setting and achieving goals and the power within you. Right? So I did write a book like that, but it’s something around why set goals, what’s the difference between setting goals and achieving goals and, and helping them understand like, do you really know who you are 

Melissa: in school?

For me, we never spoke about goals ever. There was never like, what is your goal for this assignment? What is your [00:52:00] goal for this test? Like the word goal was never mentioned. I have an older sister who’s six years older than me, and she is the one that sat me down at the start of year 12. And she was like, what do you want?

What goal do you want? What do you want? And I was like, what do you mean? Like, what do I want? And she was like, this is your goal and we’re gonna go for it. And I was like, okay. So I’m so grateful to her for doing that with me, but. Yeah. We are not taught this and we should, and all of your work absolutely should be taught in schools because it’s so important that we get our mind, our brain, in the right space to create the life that we wanna create to be the best version of ourselves and to call in what we want.

John: Here’s something that most people don’t know that, that it’s fascinating. Would you agree that functionally the cars in Australia work like the cars in the United States? Sure. Whether they’re electric [00:53:00] or gas, they work about the same. 

Melissa: Yeah. 

John: Here’s something magical. Every brain functionally works the same.

Melissa: Mm. 

John: Einstein’s brain. Hitler’s brain, Wan’s brains, Nicole. Kid’s Brain. Your brain. My brain. Every brain. Of course there’s anomalies, right? But functionally how it works, the fierce circuit in your brain. It is like wearing the fierce circuit is in my brain. The, the doubt, the worry, the panic circuits, they’re the same in yours as they are in mine.

The motivational circuit, the memory, how it works the same. So here is the real trick. Can I use my brain better once I understand a bit about how it works? And then can I train a toddler’s brain, right? A kindergartner’s brain, a grade one, grade five, grade seven, grade 12. Can I, can I train their brain to, to love themselves, [00:54:00] to believe in themselves, to, to understand that failure is not a flaw.

To understand that because they failed at something, they are not a failure, that there’s a process. For self-esteem and self-worth and self-image that’s humble and gentle and kind and beautiful, not egotistical. And we understand that whatever, whatever the creative intelligence that created us is within us.

And we are spiritual beings, the spiritual intelligence, and we have faculties of mind. We have emotions, six core emotions, and we have this body that we, we can, we can take really great care of and it will take care of us. And we master our self-talk and master our emotions, which create feelings. People don’t know the difference, any emotions and feelings.

And what happens at the subconscious level, it releases neurochemicals that are felt in the blood as a feeling, we call it in the [00:55:00] English language. And so we’re not taught some of the fundamental things. We learn how to drive a car, a motorcycle, whatever it is. We, we don’t learn how to use our own brain.

I think we, we have to start teaching children, men, women, everybody. You own the most powerful organism in the entire universe. You can’t replicate the human brain. We don’t have use manual. So, so that’s what I would be putting in the different, different grades that’s age appropriate for their cognitive abilities to understand and implement.

Melissa: Yes, I have two children and my daughter, she’s almost four, and I look at her like, she’s not come in with any limiting beliefs. She is like downloading from her environment from us. And I’m not saying I’m perfect and I get it always right, but I’m very conscious of what we expose her to because she is a sponge and she is taking [00:56:00] in everything.

And it’s so important that we remember that not just for our children, but for ourselves too. 

John: I have two sons, 30 and 28. And this is, this is how they were raised. And, and they are this, this is how they think, this is how they talk to their friends. ’cause they don’t know anything else. They don’t, they don’t know how not to be loving, caring, and kind.

’cause that’s the environment they grew up in. They, they knew how to, like, from the time they were toddlers, boys, always a hug, always a kiss. Always. I love you. Whether they were on the sports field, they would always run over and give me and their mom a hug and kiss and I love you. But during, during play, after play, girlfriends around, guy, friends around, everyone would look at them like they’ve got horns or something.

Age 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. It’s never changed. Even, even now at 28 30, every focal, I love you. Every text, I love you. Every I encounter a hug and a kiss and, and they know that [00:57:00] they can achieve whatever they choose to achieve. 

Melissa: Mm-hmm. It’s so nice. I was just thinking, my daughter this morning we were having breakfast and I usually get a place mat out for us each, and I just could not be bothered to get one out for myself.

So I put hers down and I came over and I sat next to her and I said, can I share place mats with you? And she goes, yeah, sure. Because we love each other. And that’s because I say to her, can I hold your hand? Like she might just say, why mama? And I’m like, because I love you. Or like I’ll say, come here, deli, or something like that.

She’ll say, why? And I said, because I love you. So now that is programmed into her. Can I share place mats with you? Yeah, sure. Because we love each other and I was just like, it was so sweet. 

John: Exactly right. And that’s, it’s the most beautiful thing to, to see the, the, the, the, the work that you put in, the love you put in and the teaching that you do.

Come, come back. I heard something beautiful the other day. There was a psychologist talking to somebody else on the podcast and she said, your children won’t treat themselves like you [00:58:00] treat them. Your children will treat themselves the way you treat yourself. 

Melissa: Yes. Let that land, they are watching everything you do, everything you say, 

John: everything you do and say how you react or respond, how you get angry or patient.

They watch it all. And, uh, I, I’ll never forget, uh, in one of my favorite movies, gladiator with Russell Crowe, his, his sister, I can’t remember her name, but she’s with Marcus Aurelius. And, and, and he says to her, he says, I wonder what kind of a Caesar you would’ve been? And she proudly looks and says, I would’ve been what you taught me to be.

So this is so much fun. 

Melissa: I know. Before we wrap up, I’ve got three rapid fire questions for you. Are you ready? Of course. What’s one thing we can do [00:59:00] today for our health? 

John: Create a food plan that you’re willing to stick to for the next 20, 30, 40 years. Nutrition. Whole food. Whole food. Like I’m a pescatarian. I was a vegan for 10 years.

I’ve been a pescatarian now for two years. When I, I used to be 243 pounds, 33% body fat, borderline diabetic, hypertensive with a fatty liver. I decided to stop drinking, start exercising, to get on a proper food plan and to make a decision for my life instead of for a season or a reason. 

Melissa: Well done. You I love that, 

John: that shape of my life between 48 and 50, and I’ve maintained it ever since.

So I nutri food for me, giving up certain things, starting certain things was a game changer. ’cause it affected everything else in my life. 

Melissa: Well done. So good. Okay, wealth. What’s one thing we can do for our wealth today? 

John: What kind of wealth are you talking about? Money? 

Melissa: Yeah, money, [01:00:00] business, whatever. 

John: Sure. So, so if you’re in business, I’m gonna give you a couple different ones if I can.

So in business, you must focus on this magic formula. In business traffic times conversion equals revenue. What does that mean? It means your ability to get in front of people with your ability to convert them into paying customers is going to equal how much revenue you earn. And most business owners do not have a process to generate leads or traffic.

They don’t have offers that are irresistible for people to buy now, and then they wonder why they’re not making enough money. So that’s business. So that’s kinda like a magic formula. We have to create a lead generation system, lead qualification system, lead conversion system, and a lead or prospect nurturing system.

And we can build all of it using AI today a hundred times faster than before. 

Melissa: I teach all my clients how to do this inside my [01:01:00] program she launched. That’s exactly what we teach them how to do. 

John: Perfect. So then for an individual, 99% of people that I ask this question to, don’t answer it, right, and here it is.

Give me your top three income producing activities you did in the last three, four days. Well, you can answer if you like, but I’m saying most people don’t know the difference between a high impact activity and a high income producing activity. They confuse the two. So they say, well, well I was working on my website.

I said, that’s great, but that’s taking you a penny. Oh, oh, I wrote a new blog. Oh, that’s great, but you’re not making a penny off of that. And so they confuse the stuff that might be impactful, high or low impact with what is the thing that you do that when you do that, it makes you money. 

Melissa: Yeah. You’re moving the needle forward.

Like that’s having 10 conversations in your Instagram dms [01:02:00] via voice message with 10 potential clients. Like that’s an example of one. 

John: That’s exactly right. So most people don’t understand the difference, so I highly suggest that anybody wants to make money. You better know your money making activities, and then do you know how much you are worth per hour When you do that, when you do your highest income producing activities, your revenue, income, whatever you want, will skyrocket when you do the trivial many versus the critical few.

You’re diffusing your energy. So think about your energy, the behavior like sunlight. Are you scattered energy doing a lot of stuff? Are you like a magnifying glass focused, or are you like a laser hyper-focused with a laser? We cut through steel with a magnifying glass, we could burn a piece of paper, and with diffused energy, you can get a nice tan for a short period of time.

Melissa: Yeah, yeah. [01:03:00] I love that. Yeah. It’s so important. I teach my girls that, what are your needle movers? What are your revenue drivers today? Because I do, I see so many people get caught up in the fluff. I call it like tweaking the website or whatever it is. So yeah. I love that you mentioned that. Now, last one, what is one thing we can do for more love in our life?

John: Well, the fir, the first answer that that came to my head is love yourself. Right? Because if you love yourself, then you’ll feel like giving a love is okay. When I was a little boy. My father never, ever, ever said, I love you to me, my brother or my sister ever. And he used to beat me ’cause I was getting into a lot of trouble.

So maybe I deserved it. I don’t think anybody deserves to be beaten. But in my early twenties, I went to an event and I went an event to deal with the anger that I had with him and the hatred I had for him because he really, he really did use his strength to overpower me as a little boy and [01:04:00] spanked me with pants and underwear off with a belt.

And I, I would be sore for days. And in my twenties I went to this event and one of the teachers told him the story and he said, well, have you ever, have you told him you love him? He said, fuck that. He is an asshole. He says, he says, stop. Have you ever considered that? He just doesn’t know how to say I love you.

Have you ever considered that? That he is just behaving the way he was taught? And he said to me something, he says, that hurt people, hurt people. And so he said, I’m leaving you a challenge. And the challenge is every time you speak to your father, and I was living in Toronto at the time, as I mentioned, I moved to Toronto.

He was in Montreal. I mustered up the courage on a phone call with him because I’d speak to him every week and speak to him and my mom and I, and he’d hang up. We’d, we’d be about to hang up, said, Hey, dad, what? What? I says, I love you, I love you. He goes, okay, hang up. Week one, week two, week three, week four, week 5, 10, 12, 15, 18, 20 weeks.

Sometime like six months later, [01:05:00] I said, Hey, dad. And I got comfortable just saying and not expecting anything back. I said, I love you. And he goes, I love you too, boy. Thank you, dad. And every time we got together on the phone, he said it in person and ended up being a hug. He started saying, I love you to, my sister started saying, I love you to my brother.

So the reason I, I shared that story is she, yes, love yourself, but maybe share and gives some love to somebody who needs it. And feel, feel that kindness coming from you and feel what that may mean to them if they don’t know how to say I love you, and they don’t know how to love themselves. 

Melissa: Beautiful.

That’s so beautiful. This has been so amazing. I’ve absolutely loved it. Thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom and for all the work that you do in the world. I’m so grateful that you are out there blazing this trail. So how can I and the listeners give back to you today? What can we do to serve you?

John: Uh, just make a look at the [01:06:00] work that I do. If you are sole client to look at some of my books. Innercise is amazing for unlocking your brains hidden power. The Innercise app is a game changer with there’s over 625 inter sizes for health, wealth, relationships, sales, entrepreneurship. Career business where you train your brain using all the methods that we know scientifically work, and it’s like a hundred US dollars per a year, which is insane.

And there’s also world renowned mindset and mental fitness experts in there as well that either have given us their courses or have created courses for our app. Just follow the work that I do and share it if it resonates with you. And I’ll do the same with you for sure. I wanna find out more about what you do.

’cause I’m gonna, I’m gonna look you up even more now. 

Melissa: Aw, thank you so much. It’s been such a delight and I just love this. It’s been such a beautiful reminder for myself as well, to really be super mindful of what I’m saying, the words that I’m [01:07:00] saying. And I like the reframe of, in the past I used to say, it’s just something so simple.

That can really make such a huge difference. So thank you for your wisdom today. I’m so grateful, and I’ll see you in America sometime soon 

John: in San Diego, or I’ll see you in your neck of the woods in Australia. My love, love Australia. 

Melissa: Let’s make it happen. Thank 

John: you so much.

Melissa: I loved this conversation. I am always wanting to grow and learn myself, so I loved learning from him and I hope you got a lot out of this episode. And if you did, please subscribe to the show and leave me a review on Apple Podcasts, and then you can send me a screenshot of the review to hello@melissaabrini.com, and I will gift you my wildly wealthy meditation totally free.

As a little thank you for taking the time to leave the review. Now come and tell me on Instagram at Melissa Ambrosini, what you got from this episode. I love [01:08:00] hearing from you and connecting with you. And before I go, I wanted to say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest, and the happiest version of yourself, and for showing up today for you, you rock.

Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy.

Healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

---

Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.

P.S. If you’re looking for a high-impact marketing opportunity for your business and are interested in becoming a sponsor for The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, please email pr@melissaambrosini.com for more information.

P.P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.