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Ever feel like you’re just not where you want to be in life and love? 

Meet Daniel Chidiac, the best-selling author who transformed his life from rock bottom to a multimillion-dollar empire. Daniel joins us on the show to unravel the strategies behind his stunning turnaround and to share his unique insights into success, mindset, modern dating, relationships and more.

Tune in to discover: how he went from despair to selling over 30 million dollars in books, the core patterns of success he learned from the greats, the essential keys to upgrading your health and mindset, the power of visualization in manifesting your desires, and how to shift away from a victim mentality. 

We also dive deep into the world of modern dating and relationships — where we’re nailing it, where we’re missing the mark, how to cope with break-ups, dating without apps, and how to have a wildly fulfilling love-life.

So if you’re ready to reshape your life and relationships and accelerate your journey to personal mastery, then press play now… this episode is for you.

About Daniel Chidiac

Daniel Chidiac is a writer from Melbourne, Australia. He went on a journey of self-discovery after becoming awakened to his power over his own life and developed this program to share with others what he discovered inside himself. Who Says You Can’t? You Do was first published in 2012 and became an Amazon bestseller in eight different countries. His writing has now reached millions of people around the world. He has a following of hundreds of thousands on Instagram.

In this episode we chat about:

• How he went from rock bottom to best-selling author (3:48)
• The phone call that changed his life (11:27)
• How reshaping your thoughts can reshape your reality (12:22)
• Developing healthier energy habits (17:43)
• How to take full responsibility for your life (and why this is so transformative) (23:10)
• The surprising relationship between health and success (25:12)
• The modern dating scene: where are people getting it right and where they are missing the mark (30:17)
• How to date without apps (35:33)
• His best-ever advice to uplevel your relationship (37:20)
• His unusual definition of success (40:54)
• The #1 book he would put in every school curriculum (43:20)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
• Who Says You Can’t? You Do by Daniel Chidiac (book)
• The Modern Break-Up by Daniel Chidiac (book)
• Thoughts and Feelings : Volume One by Daniel Chidiac (book)
• The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz (book)
• Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (book)
• The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (book)

Prefer To Read?

The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

Melissa: [00:00:00] In episode 579 with Daniel Chidiak, we are talking about modern dating, deepening your relationships, how to get out of victim mentality, how to upgrade your health and mindset for success, how to manifest anything you want through visualization, plus so much more. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini show.

I’m your host, Melissa, best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, and Time Magic. And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word. Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the world, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life.

Life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready? Beautiful. Hey, beautiful. And welcome back to the show. I’m so excited about this episode [00:01:00] because I love talking about mindset, manifestation, visualization. And if you are someone who needs a little refresher in that area, you are going to love this conversation.

And for those of you that have never heard of Daniel, he is a 36 year old entrepreneur, speaker, and author. And after dropping out of university, he was working a variety of unfulfilling jobs in his twenties to pay off his debt. And he then burnt himself out from the partying lifestyle that he had fallen into as a form of escapism.

Then he hit rock bottom. But despite this, he instinctively knew that he was destined for something greater. And after quitting the partying scene, he turned inwards, harnessing the power of gratitude for the small things and writing about what he was learning about himself. Now this sparked a fire within him that he hadn’t felt before.

Fueled by his passion for self discovery, transformational impact of visualization, personal development, and writing, his moment of rock bottom propelled him into creating [00:02:00] what would become his first book, Who Says You Can’t, You Do, which two years after self publishing was picked up by one of the biggest publishing houses in the world, Penguin Random House in New York, which Mastering Your Mean Goal was published with.

Now, Daniel realized that everything that he had visualized was coming to fruition. And then he was taken on by Penguin Random House, receiving a six figure advance, which is amazing. And this book is now published in 15 languages. Just incredible. Then he released his second book, The Modern Breakup, and once again proving wrong those that advised that this genre of book wouldn’t be suitable for translation deals.

Now Daniel has now turned over $30 million in book sales. And has recently launched his third book, Thoughts and Feelings, Volume One, which is so awesome. And on top of all of that, across all of his platforms, he has a following of 1. 3 million people. Yes. Yes, [00:03:00] he does. Now, for everything that we mentioned in today’s episode, as well as the transcription, Head to melissarambrosini.

com forward slash 579. Now my friend, let’s dive in.

Daniel, it is so wonderful to have you here with us today. But before we dive in, can you tell us what you had for breakfast this morning? 

Daniel: Oof, a banana and a coffee. That’s my daily breakfast. 

Melissa: I always love hearing people’s answers and some people are like, oh my gosh, please don’t ask me this. Please don’t ask me this.

But I just love the diversity of answers. 

Daniel: Yeah, that’s it. That’s my thing. And also a green water. It’s like, I’ve got like this green powder super foods that I have every morning. 

Melissa: Yeah. Nice work. Now, for those that don’t know you, you are an entrepreneur, a writer, a multiple best selling author who’s turned over 30 million in book sales, which is just incredible.[00:04:00] 

Amazing. But when you were in your twenties, you were at rock bottom. Can you tell us that story? How you got from rock bottom to where you are today? 

Daniel: That’s a long story. I hope you got enough time. 

Melissa: Let’s do it. 

Daniel: I’ll put it in a nutshell. Yeah. So I went to university, which a lot of people, you know, do after high school because that’s the, you need that piece of paper, right?

To be worthy in today’s society and especially when I was growing up. And, and I was in school, that was the thing we didn’t sort of have this new thought about entrepreneurship and all that kind of jazz. So I went to uni to make my parents happy as well as things that I thought I needed to do. And I was doing accounting there.

So commerce, which is very far from what I’m doing now, but it never really resonated with me. And I remember I was in a lecture room one day and this guy came to speak and he was just talking, he was probably in his late fifties. He was talking about. The income that he was making and traveling the world and, but it just didn’t resonate with me.

I just thought, but, [00:05:00] you know, good on people who want that. But for me, it wasn’t for me that, you know, like you’re still working for someone. And I always wanted to work for myself. And I remember I just had this gut feeling and 19 at the time. And I was like, I just got to get out of here. So I closed my books, literally left and never looked back.

And. Probably not something I would advise for everybody because I was a tad insane, I think, for doing it. Because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. And I had all these different jobs. And then me and my brother went to Italy for a holiday and we came across this clothing brand that we loved and we brought some clothes back and everyone was going crazy over them.

Like, where’d you get them from? Can we get some? So we decided to start a business. So we hit them up and we asked if they had a distributor for Australia and they didn’t. So we borrowed 70, 000 unsecured from the bank, which I don’t know, I don’t think they’d ever do that ever again. We had this business plan that we made up in our bedroom, which again, [00:06:00] was pretty crazy, but we got the money, started the business that was running for three years and then the GFC hit in 2000 and I think it was 2008, 2009.

And people didn’t want to spend 500, 600 on a pair of Italian jeans anymore. So we had all this stock, the business was not going well. And that’s when I hit rock bottom. So we found ourselves in a lot of debt and I was 22 at that time. So I just had multiple different jobs to try and pay off my debt. And I remember in that moment, I was sort of experimenting with a lot of partying and just, You know, doing things to try and cloud the stress and worry of it, which I think a lot of people resort to and didn’t obviously fulfill me and hit rock bottom.

And I remember when I was at my lowest point, I was in my bedroom after a very big weekend and it all just dawned on me and I don’t know what happened. I [00:07:00] still say that it was a bit of a mystery, but I was awakened. I was enlightened. Something came over me. I found this peace. In turmoil amongst the chaos, I sort of found this piece, everything was my fault and it sounds so strange to take it for that accountability to come waving over you.

But I had never done it. I was always living on the outside and it was this and it was that, and this was the problem and that was the issue. But I realized that I was creating all of this. And as time went on, as the weeks went by, I was. Literally waking up at three in the morning, coming to all these new realizations about how my thoughts create my life.

And within this time I had friends who were on a bit of a spiritual journey, I guess. And they’re like, you’ve got to, you’ve got to watch this person and you’ve got to listen to Deepak Chopra and all these people. And I was like, what are you talking about? You know, I had no [00:08:00] idea about how your thoughts create your life, how you can control your emotions.

I was a 22, 23 year old kid. You know, I had no idea. And like I said, back then it probably, it was just really starting to surface with the internet and stuff. So it was really starting to get around. So I think. In saying that it was meant to be unique the way I was writing it and writing, I was just writing for two years and I was writing as I was going through this awakening.

So all the steps and all these questions I was asking myself, something was driving me to wake up and to write. And I almost became addicted to it. And then about a year and a half into writing, I decided to Turn it into a book and that’s my first book who says you can’t you do and that was another journey in itself So when I did decide to write it I think I was a little bit naive because if I had have known what it was gonna take I probably wouldn’t have done it.

So I had absolutely no idea about the process but I was just, I just felt [00:09:00] like it was my calling. I just knew it deep in my gut and I had so many people reject me. I had so many editors reject me and I wanted to self publish because I wanted to get it out into the market. And I researched everything on my own.

I mean, barcodes and ISBN numbers and typesetting and just everything. I self learned everything. And I remember one of the biggest editors in Victoria at the time, she. Basically said to me, cause I told her that I’d left my job as a PT at that time. I had multiple different jobs. We won’t go into all of them, but just, you know, I was trying new things out.

And she basically said, I don’t want to be the one to tell you this, but I probably like wouldn’t leave your money making job to pursue this. And I remember at that moment, it was the most overwhelming feeling and this wave of just darkness and doubt came over me. And I remember I put my phone down and this is in the Penguin edition of the book.

We’ll get to that in a minute. Uh, I ran and I ran down at my local park until I literally could not run [00:10:00] anymore and I was just bursting into tears. I was just like, I’ve just spent three, like two and a half years writing this thing and I’ve had the biggest editor in my state basically tell me, don’t give up your day job.

And the crazy person that I am got up and went back home, did not leave my bedroom. Until I, she spurted something inside of me to fix it. And I was like, okay, things need to be done. I’m going to go and do it. And I literally had this new energy and I ran and breathed did the whole thing. And I was inspired more than ever before, released it.

And then about a year into it, Penguin Random House picked up the book. 

Melissa: Which is a dream for so many people. One of my books was picked up by Penguin Random House in New York, mastering Your Mango. And I have written five books and an audible original. And so when you said if I had have known what was involved before I did it, I might not have done it.

One of [00:11:00] my girlfriends said to me, how did you do that in less than eight years you did that? I’m like. Well, I just did it and this was like pre my daughter. It does take a lot. It takes a lot. And it is work. It is so much work. It’s not just like, Oh, I’m just going to get off and I’m just going to like tap away for a couple of hours.

It is so much work, but it’s worth it. It is so worth it. And the end. Okay. Penguin Random House call you and say, we want to publish your book. Tell me about that phone call. Like, where were you? Tell me what they said. How did they get it in their hands? 

Daniel: Well, I was actually half asleep when I read the email.

So I got, I woke up in the morning and I remember I went down, I think I was about to check my sales or something. I was using a platform called Lightning Source at the moment and I was checking my sales and then I remember I opened up my emails and it was an editor, a senior editor from Penguin Random House.

And I [00:12:00] opened it up. I thought it was like a junk mail. I thought it was a joke and I was reading it. And then I had to click on her email and saw penguinrandomhouse. com or whatever it was at the end. And I’m like, Googling penguinrandomhouse. com, is this like some, is this the legit website? And then I was like, wow.

So it was an overwhelming feeling. Couldn’t believe it. You know, jump on the phone to everyone. It was like, yeah, what a surreal moment it was. 

Melissa: So you have a very strong mind. You are told don’t quit your day job and you still persevered. Like that is. Not the case for many people. How do we move past those setbacks?

What did you tell yourself? What reframing did you do? Because you emphasize the power of belief in shaping our reality. How do we actually do that? Cause we can understand it, but then put it into practice as a different story. 

Daniel: I think there’s. Two kinds of critics. One of them is [00:13:00] coward enough to tell you that people never make it.

And the other one is courageous enough to tell you that you can do anything and that will give you constructive feedback at that moment. I feel like you have to be that for yourself. If you believe in something and you see it in your mind, you can achieve it. You have to have that feeling that this is not the end.

It’s just an obstacle. You have to keep your mind on the bigger vision. To me, it all goes down to visualization. So I remember when in those moments of doubt, and when I was writing, you know, pages of my book, looking outside my bedroom window and the overwhelming doubt would come in, like, what are you doing?

You’re not a writer. Who’s going to, who’s going to read your work? How are you going to publish it? Overwhelming thoughts. And that’s what, that’s when we give up when all these thoughts and all the steps of how we’re going to do it. [00:14:00] Overwhelm us, but in that moment you have to stop and it doesn’t matter even if you put down your work for a day or two days or a week, you just have to go back to visualizing that end result.

Don’t focus on the obstacles, focus on the end result. And that’s when you realize it’s not really the external that’s stopping you. It’s the internal, it’s your energy. And once you break free of that energy, you realize success is all energy. It’s all the energy you cultivate within yourself. Something that can seem so far from existence, which was my book, you know, when I was looking outside my bedroom window at my suburban house in Melbourne and no one had ever read my work, what got me through that was that vision.

And that only took a couple of years. A year and a half from that moment when it seems so far. So I think in that moment, you have to go [00:15:00] back to visualizing. And I do that by recognizing that, you know, something as simple as I can imagine writing my name on a piece of paper. And then I can physically write that piece of paper, write my name on that piece of paper and hold it in front of me.

And I’ve literally brought that into physical existence and that’s the power of the mind. Everything we see around us began in someone’s mind. I’m sitting on someone’s thoughts right now. I’m sitting on a chair, which was once somebody’s thoughts, everything started with a thought. And I think that when you keep your mind on that end result, the universe, God will open up the doors for you.

It will show you the way, just don’t focus on the how, focus on the what you want, and then you will always find the way through. 

Melissa: Absolutely beautiful. Absolutely beautifully said. So inside my program, SheLaunch, I say to the girls all the time, like, if you can see it, if you can see your goal, then it is for you.

[00:16:00] Yeah. It’s for you. If you can see it, it’s for you. You wouldn’t see it if it’s not for you. A lot of people get so in their head of the, how am I going to get to six figures? How am I going to manifest the soulmate? How am I going to heal from this? How am I going to, you know, whatever it is. But like you said, don’t worry about the how, just keep visualizing and taking inspired action every single day.

You don’t just visualize and sit back and fold your arms and do nothing. We take action every single day, but it starts with the visualization. And that is literally how I have been able to manifest everything that I have in my life. And I’ve manifested some amazing things. And it’s literally started with visualizing.

And I didn’t grow up with this wisdom. Like I grew up in a very Catholic Italian family. And we had to say sorry for our sins. And, you know, it was a very different upbringing to [00:17:00] someone who grew up with this sort of wisdom. And I had to learn from hitting rock bottom as well. And I was around 23, 24, but I am so glad because it has put me on this path and the path of, you know, Taking responsibility and being in the driver’s seat of my life and creating my own reality, because one of the most beautiful things that we can do is take ownership for our life and stop blaming everybody else, blaming your parents, blaming your school teachers, blaming the system.

We have to take ownership. So I love that so much. And there’s a quote of yours that I love, and I’m going to read it to you, even though you know it, but I want to read it out to the listeners. Most people expend all their energy on things that are actually destroying their life, rather than enriching it.

We spend so much time on things that are destroying our life, the thoughts, the actions. So can you walk us through some common examples of how we [00:18:00] misuse our energy? Then talk about how we can break this pattern and start channeling our energy in the direction of our dreams. 

Daniel: Well, I’ll sum it up in this way and I’ll go into a bit more detail, but I’ll begin with this.

You’re going to go through stages in your life where you are going to do things and they’re not going to have that much effect on you. So for example, I gave up drinking two and a half years ago. I could drink and drink and party, and it was okay. The enjoyment of doing it was less than the regret of doing it.

And that was okay because it served me to a degree and I obviously had to still learn. It wasn’t until I started getting later into my life that I realized the impact that it was having. And the way I determine if something is not serving me anymore. Is by the fact of me regretting it far more than the enjoyment I had when I was doing it.[00:19:00] 

So if i’m waking up and I am completely beside myself saying I do not want to do this anymore I do not want to do this anymore and you will reach that stage with everything in your life that is not serving you But you continue to do it. That’s going to continue to harm your soul That’s going to continue to take a toll on your mind.

I’m someone who has Made the same mistakes for years at times And that’s just me. I’m like, I need to get burnt and then I need to feel that burn again. And then I need to jump in the fire to realize that it’s not for me. That’s just who I am. And that’s okay. I’m, I’m comfortable with that. But once you jump in that fire and you realize how much it hurts, that’s when you have to start making a change.

That’s when you have to accept. That this no longer has a place in my life anymore. And by holding onto this and continuing to do it, when I’m regretting it far more [00:20:00] than what I did, you know, then the enjoyment I had when I was doing it, that’s when you’re able to let go when you accept that. And once you let go of that, you create space for new and beautiful things to come into your life because there’s only so much space.

We don’t have space for everything. So the more you’re doing things that you regret, you’re removing space. From the things that are going to actually propel you to your dreams and, you know, beautiful emotions and things that you want to experience. And life is full of challenges. You’re going to have challenges.

We’re not, no one’s exempt from them. And this is tough. This journey is hard. It’s not for the faint hearted. You know, if you want the easy way out, don’t go on this journey. That’s just the truth. That’s just the reality. But if you want something, if you’re one of those people that really want something, you can do it regardless of your background, regardless [00:21:00] of where you come from, regardless of how much money you had.

I was in debt, you know, I was, it was like, I think it was like, we had around 70 debt of the time of me, you know, that’s for a 23 year old, that’s like 10 years over for the next 10 years, you know, that’s how we look at it. But I remember digging holes. Literally digging holes when I was doing laboring to pay off my debt and having mud up to my knees and the boss screaming at me to run because they’re pumping concrete into these holes and Just stopping and not knowing what I wanted to do next I was just writing at that time before I’d even written my book and I remember stopping there and just being like one day Something is going to get better, even when you can’t see the light, still believe it’s there because you’re not always going to see it.

That’s the truth. There’s going to come times in your life where there are waves and waves of darkness. But if you just hold onto that tiny [00:22:00] little bit of hope that someday something’s going to get better and I am going to find my way. I promise you, it’ll happen. Just don’t ever give up on that hope.

Even if you don’t believe it at the time, it doesn’t matter. Just say it. And you know, God will respond accordingly. God wants you to be honest. Don’t fake it. Don’t say fake it till you make it. I don’t do that. I accept that it’s hard. I accept that this is a really hard period of my life and I’ve got to get through the gutter now, but the gutter that’s going to teach me how to rise.

That’s going to give me everything that I need to achieve my dreams. God bless. 

Melissa: One of my favorite sayings is this too shall pass, you know, when I go through really challenging times, I just remind myself of that. And I know that you’ve got to go through the mess to get to the magic. And I know on the other side of this challenging time, there is magic.

And I might not be able to fully see the lesson or have the clarity [00:23:00] during it because it’s all messy and muddy. But I know that everything happens for a reason. And on the other side, there is gold. And so, we don’t want to play the victim, right? And a lot of people are really, really good, like award winningly good at playing the victim, right?

When things aren’t going to plan, they can get into that. Why me? So what do you suggest for people if they can feel themselves sliding into that slippery victim slope? Like, how do we start taking full responsibility of ourselves in those moments where it might feel really hard? 

Daniel: I’ve got three questions that I think that people should ask themselves in that moment, who thinks for you, who feels for you and who acts for you.

Because you think your thoughts, you feel your feelings and you act. So if you’re blaming anything and everything [00:24:00] else around you, and you may do that for a period and that’s okay, we’re all human. We’re all going to do that. You’re not wrong. You’re not bad for doing it, but you have to go back within self and say, I am thinking my thoughts, I am deciding to act in a way I am speaking the way I want to speak.

No one’s doing that for me, regardless of what happens in my life. I have control of those things. And I think once we come to that realization that we have control of those fundamentals, that’s when we can make change. You know, things might happen in our life. Someone might leave us, someone might reject us from a job, it’s out of our control, right?

But what can we control in that moment is how we are going to respond. And once again, it is okay not to respond so positively. It’s okay, go through it, go through all the emotions that you have to, feel it, feel everything, but just know that at the end of the day, [00:25:00] you are the one that is in control more so of your life than anybody else.

So they’re the questions that I’ve always asked myself in those moments. 

Melissa: Wonderful. Beautiful. I love that. Now let’s talk about the relationship between health and success, because you’ve devoted a whole chapter in the book to creating a healthy, physical existence. I love health. I have been obsessed with it for most of my life, but really from when I hit rock bottom when I was 24, and that’s when my love for health really amped up.

So what do you wish people knew about the link between physical health and their level of success? 

Daniel: Well, I can tell you from my own experience, the last two and a half years since I’ve stopped drinking. And have really dedicated myself to living a healthier lifestyle. I’m not someone for diets, but I can tell you that I haven’t been sick once.[00:26:00] 

So since I’ve cleaned up my diet, stopped drinking, I have literally not been sick once. And that was a big thing for me because I was getting sick like twice a year and it has given me more clarity. We still have challenges. So this, you know, cleaning up our diet and doing all these things, it doesn’t make us exempt from the challenges in life.

And we’re still going to hit them. I think what it’s given me is an outlet to be able to have a cleaner sort of direction in the way I want to handle these things. Because I feel like when I was eating junk food and I was admittedly for a long time, Even sometimes when I was writing my second book, I went on a bit of a slump, you know, I was eating just whatever because I was so busy and I was like, you know what, I’m just going to just wait till I get starving and then I’m just going to eat something.

And I would just go and eat whatever was it was available because I was like, I don’t have time to prepare food. I don’t have time to do all that. Still, I’m not a meal prep person, [00:27:00] but I have my thing set up at my office that Is ready to go. I have my tuna, I have my salads and I have my rice or whatever, the lemons.

So I know that I can go there and I’m able to prepare that food. And just on a day to day basis, I feel way more energetic. I’m sleeping better and these things all play into success. To me, it’s a healthier lifestyle, but you know, like in saying that there’s, I’m sure there’s people who eat junk food all the time and whatever else, and they’re successful in their businesses.

There is not just one way, but I do think it’s how you feel. How do you feel? I know now when I eat something and it’s healthy and generally speaking more times than not now. I do, I’ll probably say 70 to 80%. I probably still go out three, four nights a week for dinner, whatever, and have whatever I want.

But I know that I feel better. I feel lighter. I feel cleaner. Whereas when I used to have junk food or just eat whatever [00:28:00] was available, as soon as I would get hungry, it would really affect my energy. And I would feel that almost like it was getting sucked out of me. Well, I just wanted to just sit on the couch, you know, and just be like, and I think it’s so important just to go back to the way something’s making you feel.

How do I feel after I’m indulging in this with whatever it is? And it’s a personal thing for me is I just feel cleaner and I feel better about my everyday life. My body’s better physically. And the way it feels as well. I feel lighter. So I think that’s really important. 

Melissa: Absolutely. It’s all about how you feel.

I quit alcohol 14 years ago, 2010. 

Daniel: Good job. Congratulations. 

Melissa: Thank you. When I hit rock bottom in 2010, when I was in hospital, I was like, I need to sort myself out. I need to get happy and healthy again. And one of the first things I did was stopped alcohol and I was only going to do it for like three months.

Just to get [00:29:00] well again. And then I felt so good that I was like, okay, I’ll just do another month and then I’ll just do another month and then another month and then 14 years later, I. Never think about it. I don’t crave it. It’s just not part of my life and my husband doesn’t drink and I just cannot tell you how good I feel.

Like the clarity, the mental clarity, the energy, the sleep is so much better. I have a whole nother day in the week now, Sunday, because usually Sunday was, you know, I’d be in bed and eating junk food to soak up all of the alcohol. But I love the way that I feel not drinking, and a lot of my friends don’t drink, some will drink occasionally.

And there’s no judgment, like everyone is on their own journey. 

Daniel: For sure. I mean, I love the taste of wine still. Cognac and rum and, you know, I appreciate it a hundred percent. I can understand it. So that’s why I feel like it’s always, as I said before, you know, it’s, you know, If the regret of what you’re doing outweighs [00:30:00] the enjoyment you had when you were doing it, that’s when it’s time for you to take a good hard look.

Melissa: Absolutely. 

Daniel: But if you’re loving it and you’re enjoying it and it doesn’t have much of an effect, well, go for it, you know? 

Melissa: Yep. 

Daniel: Who am I to talk? 

Melissa: Yep. 

Daniel: Who are we to judge? 

Melissa: Yeah, definitely. I want to shift gears to dating and relationships because your second book, The Modern Breakup, became a viral sensation.

And had people flocking to you for your unique philosophy on dating and relationships. Can you talk to us about the modern dating scene? Where do you think people are getting dating right? And where are they missing the mark? 

Daniel: Well, getting it right. I think is understanding what we deserve and who we are as people.

I think, you know, we always like to look back at our parents and grandparents era as this notion of what a successful relationship is. [00:31:00] And to some degree, it’s very true. However, I’m sure there’s a lot of people and you’re seeing that a lot more now. Divorce rates, people in their forties, fifties, sixties, it’s happening a lot where they’ve realized that, hold on, we weren’t happy.

We do want something else. So I think that it’s the things that we’re getting right is that we’re looking within ourselves and realizing what we deserve, who we are as people and what we’re willing to offer, what we have to offer somebody where I think we’re getting it wrong is we’re too quick to cancel people out and we are analyzing things far too much.

That’s what I think. And I think that there’s. Reasons why we do that. And I think it, it comes back to insecurities. It comes back to maybe selfishness as well. I feel like this [00:32:00] generation more so than ever. And like I said, there’s positives to it as well, because we’re living our dreams and everyone’s after their, what they’re after and what they want, but relationships take sacrifice.

They take work. So if you are in this space where this is what I want, this is everything that I want. It’s like, who are you willing to be? Because you also have to provide, you also have to work. And we have this notion that we’re all perfect, you know, it’s like, we’ve got all this stuff to offer. And, but it’s like, do you really, are you going to be there when that person’s down and out?

Are you going to fight? Are you going to, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, or are you going to just look for the next thing that comes around? So I think there’s so many insecurities that are going in today’s society, especially with, you know, social media, that’s just blown things out of the water. Fast dating.

I think we’re letting way too many people’s energy in. I got off [00:33:00] online dating years ago because I just realized that it was Groundhog Day. And it was also an outlet for my insecurities and my inability to handle situations differently. If something was going. You know, haywire in my life, I’d pick up the thing and swipe.

It’s like, what are we looking for in those moments? And why are we going to that? What is it about it that’s making us feel the need that we need to speak to 20 different people at one time or 30 different people at one time? It’s absurdity and you’re constantly letting so many people’s energy in. It’s a recipe for insecurities because that person’s going to reply to you.

Then you’re going to swipe on someone else. Who’s better looking than that person. That person is not going to reply to you. Then you’re going to feel insecure and then you’re going to feel secure when they message. And in that person, it’s like you are playing around with security and insecurities on a daily basis.[00:34:00] 

Think of the anxiety people get when someone doesn’t reply to them. It’s like, that’s wildfire on online dating. That’s so enhanced. So I think if we are going to be dating in today’s society, which a lot of people, you know, we have to, we want to meet someone or whatever it is, you’ve got to be really responsible with your energy and you have to really sink in.

How is this affecting me? How is dating so many people affecting me? How is letting so many people’s different energies into my life affecting me? And I think that’s when we go back to self. And realize that we don’t need that much sensory input from other people. We don’t need people’s constant validation to feel good about ourselves.

We don’t need that hit from someone to text us for us to feel worthy. And once we realize that, and we go back to ourselves and we’re really clear on what we want in somebody, I [00:35:00] think that’s when it all makes sense, because as I said, you know, having these insecurities and feeling them so on and off on an everyday basis.

It’s going to make us act out of character. It’s going to make us cling onto people who give us attention and think that we are in love with them when realistically you’re just filling your insecurities with their presence. So I think it’s all about being responsible and really understanding that great things come to those who wait as well.

You don’t have to be actively out there trying to make someone the one. 

Melissa: So if you’re not on the apps, you just trust and go out. Like, what do you suggest if you’re not on the apps? 

Daniel: I’m a big believer in like, what’s for you will find you. So I also think, you know, I mean, it depends. I’m not someone who actively goes out and searches for people, but if you’re someone who wants that, I think it’s got to be in line with your values, your morals, what you [00:36:00] do on a day to day basis.

If you’re someone who, you know, has health as your number one priority, that’s really something that you’re looking for. I don’t think going to a nightclub. And meeting a guy or a girl who’s getting drunk off their face, not saying they’re not into health and stuff like that. What I’m saying is that environment may not be the best place for you to find somebody.

So I think it’s, I think it’s knowing who you are first and then looking in the right places. If you’re someone who’s, you know, actively looking and that’s okay as well. If you are actively looking. Me, I just go about my day to day basis and, you know, do my thing and do my work. I’m very work driven, so I’m maybe in a little bit of a different category to some other people.

But for those who are, you know, that’s a very big priority in their life, I think it’s looking in the right places. Make sure to not, you know, go against your own morals and your own values [00:37:00] in order to just feel comfort of being with somebody because it’s so easy to do. It’s so easy. 

Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. You have to know yourself, know your core values, know yourself so intimately before you call in someone else.

Know what you want. It’s essential. Absolutely. And on the flip side, for people that are already in a relationship, what is your absolute top suggestion, advice for people who want to up level their relationship? and experience that true alignment and deep connection. 

Daniel: When I speak to people who have got successful relationships for long periods of time, they all say the same thing.

And mind you, the happy ones I’m talking to, the ones that are more content than others, don’t stop having fun. Cause I think that’s where, like, I haven’t, I’m not someone who’s 10 years plus or whatever it is, or, you know, [00:38:00] like, so I think that. Um, from what I’ve learned and I’ve spoken to, you know, thousands of people doing what I do, you know, as a job in my life.

And there’s that big one is don’t stop having a laugh. Don’t stop having fun. Don’t forget why you fell in love with this person. Because I think it’s so easy to do when we go about our day to day life, especially people that have kids are here all the time. You know, it becomes all about the kids and you lose.

You lose each other, I think growing together with anybody, you know, doing things where you can grow together because I think the growth together, you know, whether it be an activity, learning something new, whatever it may be, I think that just growing together in something shows that, Hey, we still have this thing that we want to be side by side and we can grow in anything together.

Melissa: Absolutely. So important. My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary last week. 

Daniel: [00:39:00] Congratulations. 

Melissa: Thank you. And we renewed our vows and it was so beautiful. It was absolutely amazing. And. One of the things that I said was I commit to having more fun and playing more and not taking life so seriously, because definitely when kids entered the equation, so much of your energy and your focus is there, especially as a mama.

And it took us kind of having a conversation and going, okay, we need to recalibrate. She’s a bit older now. a bit more independent, it’s time for us to start dating each other again. And so we started doing weekly dates again and it has been so beautiful and just so simple. We just go for a walk together sometimes or we’ll go out for breakfast or we’ll go out for dinner or something like that.

But it’s just so important. Like one of the best pieces of relationship advice that I share in one of my books Open Wide is [00:40:00] like never stop dating each other. Ever. After 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, and beyond, never stop dating each other. Get dressed up, take each other on a date, do things different that you’ve never done before.

Put yourself in those environments and it’s just, that’s the glue to your relationship. 

Daniel: Yeah, for sure. For sure. I think so. 

Melissa: Yeah. Beautiful. Oh, any other relationship tips for us before we shift gears? 

Daniel: Oh, I would say don’t forget what you deserve. Don’t forget what you deserve. The lines get very blurred.

Don’t be too hard on everybody, but. Listen to that gut. 

Melissa: Absolutely. 

Daniel: Surface things can be rubbed out and they can be mended, but when it’s a deeper knowing, you have to listen to it and try to listen to it as early on as you possibly can. 

Melissa: Yeah, totally agree. I’d love to hear what your definition of success is and what do you attribute your success to?[00:41:00] 

Daniel: Success to me is finishing what you start, no matter what it is. When you commit yourself to something. You finish it. Doesn’t matter how big, how small that’s success to me. 

Melissa: What if it’s no longer aligned with you? Like, what if you change your mind about something and it’s no longer aligned? 

Daniel: Well, then I think that’s something that you have to really dig deep and ask yourself, is it, or isn’t it?

If it is, if it’s really not aligned, then of course you can stop that and go in a different direction. But if you know, deep down, you’re just stopping because things are getting too hard. Then you failed yourself and only you will know that only you will really know that where it’s like, I still want this, I still want to do this, but I’m stopping because X, X.

It’s like, that’s not going to fortify your brain in order to get things in life in anything. So finish what you start. [00:42:00] 

Melissa: And when we follow through with our commitments to ourselves, that builds trust within us. And every time we say we’re going to do something and we don’t. That trust gets eroded. And so we need to build that trust within ourselves.

So yeah, like if I say I’m going to do something, I usually try and follow through unless it’s like no longer aligned with me. And, you know, I’m honest about that. Like I liked that. Now I don’t like that, or I wanted to do that. Now I don’t want to do that. But yeah, you got to have an honest conversation with yourself about that.

Be truthful. 

Daniel: It’s a knowing. 

Melissa: Absolutely. 

Daniel: You know, when you’ve just given up. 

Melissa: Yeah. And you can try and tell yourself that you’re not, and you can try and convince yourself, but you know, no, you know, deep within, you know, whether you’ve just given up. 

Daniel: It’s the ones you can’t get out of your head. That’s how I describe it.

The ones that you can’t get out of your head are the ones that you have to [00:43:00] pursue. 

Melissa: Absolutely. 

Daniel: Yes. Yeah. You have to, you’ve like, I’ve had so many ideas and so many projects over the time and I’ve started things and, but then there were the ones that I knew, you know, I knew and they would always keep popping back up and they’re the ones that I had to finish.

Melissa: Yeah. Absolutely. All right, my friend, let’s pretend you have a magic wand now and you could put one book in the school curriculum of every high school around the world. Besides your books, let’s presume they’re in there, what is one book you would choose? 

Daniel: School curriculum. This is a hard one. The Magic of Thinking Big.

Melissa: Wonderful. 

Daniel: I was going to say a deeper poetry sort of book, but I was like, curriculum, school, I don’t think they’re going to get it. Just, yeah, they’re not there yet because I do have some other top ones that, that I like. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, which I absolutely love. The Prophet by Khalil Gibran, but for school, The Magic of Thinking Big, [00:44:00] because I wish someone gave me that book when I was 16.

Melissa: I know. I don’t know. What did I read? Probably Looking for Alibrandi. 

Daniel: Oh yeah. I don’t know what we were doing in school, but we would just, they weren’t teaching us this stuff. I don’t know. We didn’t get it. 

Melissa: I wish they were teaching this stuff. 

Daniel: I know. It wasn’t even on social media. There was none. We had nothing to flick through and to inspire us.

We were just left on our own device. 

Melissa: Yeah. Told what to learn. And even if we didn’t have any interest in it, that we had to, we just had to learn that. 

Daniel: If you didn’t, you didn’t go to uni and get a degree, you were a failure. That’s what we got told. 

Melissa: Yeah, exactly. Good luck to you. 

Daniel: We found a way through.

We’re the ones that cracked through. So let’s keep going. 

Melissa: Yeah, exactly. Now, I’d love to talk about how your day looks. You know, I know that you’re very health conscious as well. Can you talk us through a quote unquote typical day in your life? Little habits, rituals, [00:45:00] routines that you do. I’d love to hear how you set yourself up for a successful day.

And I know no two days are ever the same. 

Daniel: No, not with an artist. They’re not with a writer or a creator. They’re never the same, but there are things that I do that I will never leave the house without doing. So whenever I’m, I get up, I make my coffee and usually in the mornings, I feel because we haven’t been in control of our conscious mind.

The subconscious has time to run and I wake up a lot of the times feeling a little bit negative or, you know, like there’s things that like just aren’t sitting right with me and I never want to leave the house that way. So I’ll always go out on my balcony. I’ll get sun on my face if it’s sunny, Melbourne’s not always sunny, but I’ll get out and get some fresh air no matter how cold it is, no matter what’s going on.

And I will go towards the light. I will imagine light coming through me. I will think of things that I love. And I will [00:46:00] bring love into my heart and I will always want to keep that throughout, like to start my day that way. So even though it’s probably not going to stay that way the whole day and modern times, it’s not, I’d never leave the house.

In a negative mindset with negative energy. I always try to clear my energy before I do that. And then generally go to the office or go to the gym. Sorry. I always go to the gym after that. And then I have my little routine, go to the office, do work. I’ll go for walks in between. And then that’s about it.

My life really is ain’t that exciting anymore. When you get to my 36 and you’re so focused on your work, it’s all about just. Keeping your energy clean, trying to stay focused on where you’re going, correcting things internally that, that aren’t sitting right. It becomes a very internal journey, I feel, especially for people in their like mid thirties onwards.

It’s not really about, Oh, what are we going to do today? And what are we [00:47:00] going to do tomorrow? It’s I know what I got to do and I just got to do it. 

Melissa: Absolutely. What are you working on right now? Work wise? 

Daniel: I’m working on a couple of things, thinking of writing another book soon. I don’t want to say, really say what it’s about because I don’t want to give anyone else ideas at the moment, but I’m seeing a bit of a trend with something going on online and I want to, I’m sort of working on a new book with that.

And I’m also working on another business, which once again, I can’t really say what it is because it’s new and it’s fresh. It’s going to be fresh in the market and I’ve got. Yeah, this one’s been going on for about a year now, we’ve been building the website. So sort of in line with what I do, it’s in, I can give you that part.

It’s in the writing sort of space, but it’s never been done and it’s got real global potential. So it’s, yeah, working on a [00:48:00] website business at the moment as well and planning on moving to LA. Just got my three year visa, so yeah, got some stuff going on over there as well. 

Melissa: Wonderful. So exciting. I cannot wait to see.

What unfolds for you? That’s awesome. 

Daniel: Thank you. Yeah. Looking forward to it. Just getting started. I’m always saying that. Just the beginning. It’s always just the beginning. 

Melissa: Yeah. Beautiful. Okay. I’ve got three rapid fire questions for you now. Are you ready? 

Daniel: All right. Let me sit up. 

Melissa: What is one thing that we can all do today for our health?

Daniel: Bring light into your heart. Beautiful. 

Melissa: What’s one thing that we can do for our wealth? 

Daniel: Save, even though people are against that. 

Melissa: I think it’s important. 

Daniel: Um, people are so against it though, right? Like you’re here today, like don’t have any money, but I know that if I didn’t save, people are like, Oh, but you know, you could have invested at the end of it.

It was like. Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have what I’ve got now to go and set myself up in LA and I’ve always had that plan. [00:49:00] So I think just be conscious. I’ve blown so much money in my life, blown some, and I look back now and I think, geez, you know, like what could I have done with it? But you know, could have, should have, would have, it’s all good.

I went through regret with that for so long and as we do, and I was like, nah, you got to get past it. You know, I could have done this with that money. I could have done that. It’s all good. Stop and just have a plan. 

Melissa: Yeah, it’s all a learning. 

Daniel: It’s all a learning. It’s all a learning. 

Melissa: Yep. And last one, what is one thing that we can do for more love in our life?

Daniel: Love others. Love the people around you. 

Melissa: Totally agree. What is something that you’ve recently changed your mind about? 

Daniel: Letting go. How so? Understanding that letting go of things that no longer serve you isn’t always as easy as we think it is. If there’s something that we have to let go of, that’s [00:50:00] hard.

But when we choose to let go of something, that’s going to be equally as hard, but you have to go through it because there’s pain, there’s confusion, and then there’s freedom. 

Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. This has been so beautiful. I’ve loved this conversation. Is there anything else that you want to share with us?

Any last parting words of wisdom? There 

Daniel: was something I thought of the other day that I heard that I would like to share. 

Melissa: Go for it. 

Daniel: When someone is at war within themselves, they cannot bring you peace. 

Melissa: So how do we help that person? 

Daniel: Sometimes it’s not your job to. You can help them to a certain degree. I think accepting that some people are just that at that stage of their life, and that you are at your stage of your life, and understanding that it’s just probably not right for you at this time.

Melissa: In terms of a romantic relationship? 

Daniel: Yeah. [00:51:00] If you’re not at peace, if you’re constantly not at peace with somebody, And they’re making you feel on edge. They’re making you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time. You’re not getting the responses that you want. It’s not always your job to continue to fix them because you could be ruining your own life in the process.

You don’t have to keep trying to convince someone how to treat you. 

Melissa: No way. And you can’t really fix anybody. 

Daniel: That’s right. That’s right. People are on their own journey. 

Melissa: And you can’t save anybody either. 

Daniel: That’s true. That’s exactly true. Come to that realisation as well. 

Melissa: Yep. Yeah, beautiful. You are helping so many people with your work.

In your books and everything that you share, you’re inspiring so many people. So how can I and the listeners give back and serve you today? 

Daniel: Nothing. I’ve gotta be honest. That’s the first thing that comes to my mind and it’s always, I always say the answer. The first comes nothing. If you resonate with my work and you wanna read my stuff, read it.

[00:52:00] If not, that’s okay. I just do what I do. 

Melissa: Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being courageous enough to follow your heart. And to write and to share and to do what you do. It’s been such a delight having this conversation with you. And I am so excited to see what is next for you in LA.

Daniel: I appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me on. 

Melissa: Pleasure. 

Daniel: Take care.

Melissa: I hope you got a lot out of this conversation and. are reminded of the power of your thoughts and the power of visualization. Whatever you want, see it, visualize it, feel it, and then take action. And it will happen. Remember, if you can see it, it is for you. Whether that is a business goal, a relationship goal, a health goal, whatever [00:53:00] it is, if you can see it, it is for you, my friend.

So I hope you loved this conversation. And if you did, please subscribe to the show and leave me a review on Apple podcasts, because that means that we can inspire and educate even more people together. And it also means that all of my episodes will just pop up in your feeds so that you never have to go searching for a new episode.

Now come and tell me on Instagram at Melissa Ambrosini what you got from this episode. I love connecting with you and hearing from you. So jump on over there right now. And before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you.

You rock. Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do my friends to get this in their ears.

And until next time, my darling. Don’t forget that love is sexy, [00:54:00] healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

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