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Ever wondered what separates great leaders from everyone else? 

What habits, routines and mindset hacks do high achievers rely on to hit their goals?

And can getting up at 5am really change your life?!

In this enlightening episode, I’m joined by none other than Robin Sharma, bestselling author of books like ‘The 5am Club’ and ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ (among many others) and one of the world’s leading experts on personal development and leadership. 

Press play on this EPIC episode to discover: the 5 surprising forces that influence your leadership capacity, the “20/20/20 formula” that billionaires use to set themselves up for success each day, the different forms of wealth that can radically transform how you live, how to escape the victim mindset and unlock your true potential, how to establish healthy boundaries that foster growth, why high achievers are great at rest and recovery, and the crucial role of inspired daily action in personal transformation.

If you’re eager to elevate your leadership skills, break free from limitations, and discover the secrets to a wildly fulfilling life, then press play now…this episode is for you.

About Robin Sharma

Robin Sharma is a globally respected humanitarian who, for over a quarter of a century, has been devoted to helping human beings realize their native gifts. One of the top leadership and personal mastery experts in the world, he advises organizations such as Nike, FedEx, Microsoft, Unilever, Expedia, GE, HP, Starbucks, Yale University, PwC, IBM Watson and YPO.

His #1l international bestsellers, such as The 5AM Club, The Everyday Hero Manifesto, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, The Greatness Guide and Who Will Cry When You Die?, have sold over 25,000,000 copies in more than ninety-two languages and dialects, making him one of the most widely read authors alive.

In this episode we chat about:

• His journey to become one of the most successful personal development authors on the planet (04:09)
• How to rapidly improve your leadership skills (06:11)
• The 5 surprising forces that impact your capacity for leadership (08:31)
• The best way to break out of a victim mindset and unlock your full potential (11:07)
• Why our ego arcs up when a relationship breaks down (14:34)
• The 8 different forms of wealth and how can they transform our lives (17:97)
• Why daily inspired action is the key driver of personal transformation (22:42)
• The 20/20/20 formula that sets billionaires up for success every day (26:47)
• The #1 tip for parents who want a nourishing morning routine but feel stretched for time (29:09)
• Why healthy personal boundaries are critical in order to thrive (34:34)
• Why high performers prioritize rest and recovery (40:07)
• His massively inspiring definition of success and how he lives a rich life (44:58)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
• The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams & Reaching Your Destiny by Robin Sharma (book)
• The Wealth Money Can’t Buy by Robin Sharma (book)
• The Everyday Hero Manifesto: Activate Your Positivity, Maximize Your Productivity, Serve The World by Robin Sharma (book)
• The 5AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life. by Robin Sharma (book)
• The Greatness Guide: 101 Lessons for Making What’s Good at Work and in Life Even Better by Robin Sharma (book)
• Who Will Cry When You Die? by Robin Sharma (book)
• The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein (book)
• Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach (book)
• Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (book)

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The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

Melissa: [00:00:00] In episode 597 with Robin Sharma, we are talking about leadership. Money, wealth, daily habits, mindset, the eight forms of wealth, the morning routines of billionaires, plus so much more. Welcome to The Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa, best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready beautiful? Hey, beautiful. And welcome back to the show.

I am so excited about this episode because I have [00:01:00] wanted to have Robin on the show for a long time. One of his many books, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, was one of the first books I read back in 2010. And he has been on my dream list for so many years, so I’m so excited that it’s finally here. And for those of you that have never heard of Robin, he is a globally respected humanitarian who has been devoted to helping human beings realise their native gifts.

He is one of the top leadership and personal mastery experts in the world. He advises organisations such as Nike, FedEx, Microsoft, Expedia, GE, HP, Starbucks, Yale University and so many more. His international bestsellers such as The 5am Club, The Everyday Hero Manifesto, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, The Greatness Guide and Who Will Cry When You Die have sold over 25 million copies in more than 92 languages and [00:02:00] dialects.

making him one of the most widely read authors alive. Isn’t that just amazing? And for good reason. Honestly, if you’ve read any of his books, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I’m so excited for this conversation and for everything that we mentioned in today’s episode, you can check out in the show notes.

And that’s over at melissaambrosini. com forward slash five, nine, seven. And we had such a great conversation that he was like, please, can I come back on again another time? So he’s going to be coming back on Probably towards the end of the year, but I am so excited for you to dive into this because he shares so many nuggets of wisdom.

You are going to want to take notes. So without further ado, let’s bring on the incredible Robin Sharma.

Robin, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here. You have been on my dream list for so many years, and I’m so glad that this is finally happening. But before we [00:03:00] dive in, can you tell us what time you woke up this morning and what did you have for breakfast? 

Robin: Well, I have a flight today and I wanted to make sure I did your show before I flew.

So I was up at three today. I guess 3am is the new 5am. And I haven’t had any breakfast. I usually don’t have breakfast. I have. a cup or two of espresso, and that’s how I start my days. 

Melissa: Okay, well, what time is it now? Because you’re in Italy, what time is it there? 

Robin: Five minutes after six. 

Melissa: Okay, awesome. Well, thank you for getting up early for me.

I’m so grateful. And I’m so excited that we get to have this time together because One of your books, you’ve written so many, but one of your books in particular, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, was one of the first personal development books that I read on my journey. I don’t remember exactly when it was, maybe 2011?

And it was so inspiring, it’s such a brilliant read, I absolutely loved it, so thank you for writing that, and [00:04:00] you have since written so many other books. You are an amazing speaker, you are named one of the top Leadership experts in the world. Now before I start picking your brain, how did this all start for you?

How did you get into this work? Can you take us back and tell us how this all unfolded for you? 

Robin: Sure. Well, the grand plan was it to be an author, but it’s fascinating where life and destiny will lead you if you pay attention to the open doors and trust your instincts. I really believe, Melissa, that instinct is so much more powerful than our intellect.

Our intellect is what the world has taught us is possible. Our instinct is really the voice of wisdom within us. And if we trust it, it leads us to amazing places. So, long story short, I used to be a litigation lawyer. I became a litigation lawyer because society teaches us, in many ways, if we get a profession like that, we will wake up happy.

And the world around me, Suggesting if I became a lawyer, or a doctor, or an engineer, [00:05:00] everything would be great. The only problem is I would wake up every morning and I’d look in the mirror and I didn’t really like the person looking back at me. And what’s the point of being successful in the world and losing your soul or your, maybe even your self respect in the process?

So I went on a long journey working with healers and reading books and interviewing elders Experiencing different modalities that would help me really feel more peaceful and more happy and more aligned with who I knew I was. I made a profound transformation. Self published a book, as you mentioned, called The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

It wasn’t on a lot of big shows, etc. But people started to read it. And the most interesting thing happened all around the world, it became a bestseller and it led to this career. 

Melissa: Hmm. And how old were you when that transition happened? 

Robin: Early thirties. 

Melissa: Wow. Wonderful. It’s just incredible what you have achieved.

You’ve sold over 25 million [00:06:00] copies of your books and it’s just wonderful. So congratulations on all of that amazing success. But what you’re sharing is deeply resonating with people. And you’re an expert on so many different things, but I want to start with leadership because a lot of people listening to this show are leaders.

We have our own businesses or we’re leaders in our family or in our community. So how do we become a great leader? Are you born with that leadership gene or is it something that you can cultivate and flex and get better and better at? I 

Robin: think it’s both. My son, uh, Colby. Who’s also an author and speaker is visiting the farmhouse.

And last night we watched Gandhi. I haven’t watched it for years, but father and son watched Gandhi. And when he started out, he was very heartbroken at the way he was treated, but he started giving speeches and he wasn’t very good at them. But as he came more clear on his [00:07:00] cause and his mission, he just developed these skills that electrified his followers.

Then he became Gandhi. And so I think we can definitely learn the skills of leadership. And then some people are born with a natural gift to express and to excite people and to get big things done. You know, if I was to summarize it, Melissa, I’d say leadership is simply the opposite of victimhood.

Victims are all about CBE, complaint, blame, and excuse. I believe we’re born ingenious and we’re resigned into mediocrity. And all of us have incredible gifts and talent, but we get programmed, and I talk about that in the new book, The Wealth Money Can’t Buy, the Hennum Principle, the five forces that shape us and in some cases make us small and cause us to disbelieve in who we’re meant to be.

Many people become victims and they become all about Pan versus Ken, and they become all about their past. I think the past is a, not a prison to be chained in, but a school to be [00:08:00] learned from. So, victims are about CBE, complaint, blame and excuse, leaders are about APR, absolute personal responsibility. You want to run the marathon, you want to launch the business, you want to write the book, you want to find the spiritual enterprise, you want to find true love.

You’ve got to do your part to get the mission done. 

Melissa: 100%. This is what I teach in my program, SheLaunch, which is helping female coaches grow and scale their business. It’s about taking personal responsibility. That is such a big piece. So I really love that. What are those five things that you said? You mentioned five things?

Robin: PANEM. It’s an acronym for the five forces that cause us to become who we are. Now, before I get into those five forces. Just a macro principle that might bring value to all your many listeners and viewers. We see the world not as it is, we see the world as we are. And maybe I should repeat that again because it could be very valuable to people.

We see the world not as it [00:09:00] is, we see the world as we are. We wake up every morning and we think we see reality, but we don’t see reality. We see reality through our perceptual filter. Or our stained glass window, to use Joseph Campbell’s term, made up of our programs, our beliefs, et cetera. And the next primary principle is our daily behavior always reflects our deepest belief.

Our income and our impact reflects our self identity. And so as we start to shift our self identity through all the tools I talk about in the book, or we can talk about Right now, our behavior starts to change. So what are these five horses that really affect our self identity and cause us to lose sight of our personal genius?

Penham. Our parents teach us how to see the world. So if our parents say be reasonable, or people who are [00:10:00] financially free are thieves and liars, or if our parents say, you know, don’t trust people, be all about yourself, that affects The way we see the world and our self identity and our programming. PENM, the E stands for our ecosystem.

Our environment dramatically shapes us. The way your home looks, the way your work area looks, all our environment dramatically shapes the way we see ourselves. And the N in PENM is our nation. If you’re in a war torn country, that’s going to affect the way you see the world and your ability to prosper in it.

A, our associations. So we become our conversations. If you’re around victims and dream stealers and energy vampires, that dramatically affects your creativity, performance, prosperity in life. And the M in the acronym of PENM, Is media, especially this age that we live in social media, all the input, all the advertising, et cetera, it [00:11:00] dramatically affect the way we see possibility, the way we see the world.

Melissa: 100%. I absolutely love that. That’s so good. I want to talk about toxic and negative beliefs because if they’re stuck in that victimhood, I know for a lot of people, it can feel like, how can I get out of this? Maybe there’s a story that they’ve been telling themselves for 50 years, or there’s something that happened to them, some sort of trauma, and it feels like, I don’t know how to get out of this.

Like, how can we start to release that story so that we can step into our full potential and greatness? 

Robin: A few things I would say, starting point would be you can live your finest life or be around energy vampires you can’t do. Second thing I would say is people come into our lives, Melissa, for a reason.

Some people come into our lives for a season, and a few get to stay with us for a lifetime. And just because someone has been a friend for 10 years, I’m sure so many of you, if [00:12:00] not all of your followers and your listeners, your viewers, they’re on a path of growth. And that’s not really that common. And so people, your friends, maybe even your intimate partner, maybe a family member, if they’re not growing with you, you’re going to get to a point where they no longer see the world the way you do to a point where they might be bumping in against their own fears and limitations.

And so every time you share your next level of work or your next level of health, or your next level of love, or your next level of bravery, or your They’re going to smother what you say because they’re scared. You might have to let them go. And then the next thing I would humbly offer is selective association.

Sometimes it’s a mother or a father or a brother. People often say to me, you know, how can I let them go? And I would say, Well, maybe don’t text them every day or chat with them every day. Maybe it’s once a week, [00:13:00] maybe it’s once a month, maybe you only see them once in a while. And for some, you’ve got to make a hard red line and make a decision and love them from afar.

I think that’s a powerful idea. You know, you can let people go and still love them from afar and wish them a beautiful life. They don’t get to pollute your days with their fears, disbeliefs and doubts. And if I could add some science, because it could be helpful, Nicholas Christakis at Harvard University has found this profound fact.

We are influenced not only by our friends, by the friends of our friends, and the friends of our friends. And because of two primary reasons, mirror neurons, which is a type of brain cell which causes us to think. To actually mimic the behavior of the people we’re around. And secondly, emotional contagion, which is [00:14:00] the scientific phenomenon where we actually subconsciously over time adopt the dominant emotions of the people we spend most of our time with.

And so what’s the cost of being around people who are. Angry, apathetic, toxic, negative, causes us to form a block where we don’t have intimacy with our gifts and our talents and we begin to play small because the people around us. 

Melissa: Wow, that’s huge. So it’s not just your friends, it’s your friends and your friends.

That is really big. So why does our ego really struggle when friendships and relationships dissolve? Why does it want to hold on with white knuckle grip? 

Robin: God day for the ego is a great day for the soul. And our ego is the voice of fear. Our ego is not our true selves. Our ego is the part of us, Carl Jung called it our shadow self, that has been formed as we’ve [00:15:00] journeyed from the perfection and innocence of childhood to where we currently are.

And as we go through life, all of us experience this trauma, could be macro trauma, death, Of a loved one, war, pandemic, divorce, bankruptcy, accident, emergency, or could be micro trauma. Little slight, someone says something that hurts us, we get cut off in traffic, etc. And I talked about this a fair amount in The Everyday Hero Manifesto, that was the book before The Wealth Money Can’t Buy.

And I talked about this journey and I called it the field of hurt. As we experience micro and macro trauma just by going through life, this subconscious field of hurt gets created and we don’t, most of us don’t know how to, we’re not taught in the world how to process through these things. And so we have this huge shadow self called the ego that gets built up, we don’t know [00:16:00] we have it, so we often point the finger and we blame, oh it’s because of the economy, because of my parents, because of my children, because of my job, etc.

We give away our power but. We don’t realize it’s our inner shadow that’s limiting us from our greatness. And so the whole goal in so many ways of personal growth, which is the first form of wealth I talked about in the book, the form of wealth, is to start the process of dissolving our shadow selves and building intimacy with what I call not our heroic self, but our heroic self.

And the more steadily, little bit by little bit every day, we build a relationship. And this is a key point I humbly suggest. As we build a relationship with our heroic self and get to know it better, that primary relationship lifts every other relationship in our life. Our relationship with our family, with our coworker, our relationship [00:17:00] with our work, our relationship with our money, our relationship with our health, our relationship with the world.

Melissa: Wow. So big. What are the eight different forms of wealth? You mentioned them just before, so I wanted to dive deep into those. 

Robin: Okay. So primary principle is that the world has taught us that wealthy is money. I believe there are seven other forms of wealth that money can’t buy. Is money important? I’m not going to sit here and say money’s not important.

That’s why it’s the. Just form of wealth and the wealth money can’t buy. And there’s money puts food on the family table. Money allows us the freedom not to get backed into a corner to make choices we don’t want to make. Money allows us to take care of our family. Money allows us to do beautiful things for people in need.

So there’s 25 chapters in the book on how the billionaires do it. I’ve worked with billionaires, sports stars, entertainment, royalty, movement makers for 15 plus years. 25 chapters, how they think, their habits, [00:18:00] etc. But there’s seven other forms of wealth. If you want me to go through them, I can very quickly.

First form of wealth is called growth. Our culture doesn’t say, oh, you meditate and you journal and you reflect and you work with healers and you have mentors and you read and listen to audiobooks, et cetera. You’re rich. Getting to know your bravest, highest, wisest, most loving self is worth more than money in the bank.

Second form of wealth. I use the term wellness for that second form of wealth. In one tradition, they say when we are young, we would sacrifice all of our health for wealth. And when we get old and wise, we’d sacrifice all of our wealth for one day of good health. Health is one of those things we take for granted until we lose it.

Third form of wealth, family. The more years I get under my belt, the more I realize with family relationships, Worth its weight in gold. Fourth form of wealth is mastery, using your work as a platform [00:19:00] for purpose and mastery and building understanding of your gifts. Fifth form of wealth is money. Sixth form of wealth is what I call community, being surrounded by people whose lives you want to be living.

Seventh form of wealth is adventure. So how to bring the sparkle in your eyes back and feel more alive. And the final form of wealth is service to find a cause that larger than yourself is to find true and lasting joy and inner peace. 

Melissa: I love these so much. I feel like everyone could benefit from writing those down and sticking them on their fridge and reflecting on them every day and making sure that each of those forms is getting a top up every day.

Making sure that you’re depositing into each of those forms. And it doesn’t take a lot, doesn’t take hours, it doesn’t take a lot, but just like something little for your health, going for a walk and connection and just having a conversation with someone or sharing a meal with someone. Like there’s just so [00:20:00] many little things that we could do each day.

And I absolutely love that. And I’ve got a three year old and an 18 year old stepson, but I feel like this would be beautiful to get your kids involved and like get them to pick one, you know, pick one of these and let’s all do it together as a family that day or something like that. I just feel like incorporating these eight forms of wealth into your family principles and your family dynamic would just benefit everyone so greatly.

Robin: Well, Mother Teresa said, if each of us would only sweep our own doorstep, the whole world would be clean. And we all want a more peaceful world, we all want a more loving world, we want a wider world, we want less. Wars and less social polarization. Where’s the starting point. It’s for us to become our truest, greatest, biggest, wisest, strongest self.

I really believe that if the whole world would focus on these eight forms of wealth, and as you say, work on them a little bit every day, we would be such [00:21:00] happier, healthier, stronger, giving excellent people, and maybe an exercise because you talked, I believe, about putting it on the fridge. I have the actual model at the beginning of Wealth Money Can’t Buy and you mentor, coach it, imagine taking that model and actually doing an evaluation where you go through each form of wealth over half an hour in your journal or with a good cup of coffee and you rate yourself, zero is poverty, ten is rich and mastery and you rate yourself.

And then as you say, this really is the key because one of the brain tattoos in my methodology is small daily. Seemingly insignificant improvements when done consistently over time lead to stunning results. So it’s not what you do once a year that’s important, it’s what you do every day. Consistency is the mother of mastery and our days are our life in miniature.

And [00:22:00] so just by doing a little bit every day, even in a few of the areas of the forms of wealth, the gains begin to multiply and compound into exponential wins. So it’s just getting the day right and making a few gains and doing it steadily versus being all about distraction. Amazing things. Will happen in everyone’s future.

Melissa: Absolutely. My husband and I always say it’s the little things you do each day that add up to big results or big consequences. It’s those little things. And we always say as well, this is the discipline, like and discipline is freedom. This is like showing up each day and doing these little things. They really do move the needle.

And I love what you said. And I talk a lot about this in SheLaunch is taking responsibility. And like you said, if everyone just swept their own doorstep, Then the world would be in such a different place. And I know a lot of people like, Oh, I’ve got to change the world and I want to do this, but like, just focus on [00:23:00] what’s in your four walls, how you are showing up, how your family is showing up and clean up your doorstep.

And that is going to ripple out into all the other areas of your life and then ripple out into your community, into your country, into the world. So I love that so much. 

Robin: I did a prayer this morning. There’s a tool that it’s ever so powerful. And as you know, in sports, MVP is most valuable player. And in my work, working with superstar athletes and entertainers and billionaires, et cetera, et cetera.

I have a term called MVP, which doesn’t stand for most valuable player. It stands for meditation, visualization, and prayer. And we can get into what it looks like. And the only reason I. I want to, or even mention it, it’s because we’re all looking for a tool that will transform our lives. And I’m, I’m very careful with what I’m saying, you know, but it’s this tool, meditation, visualization, and prayer for 45 minutes every day is [00:24:00] absolutely transformational.

And in my, my, my session this morning, one of the parts of my prayer was I prayed for my family and then I did the circle like you’re, like you’re suggesting, I prayed for my neighbors. And then I prayed for the people in my country, and then I prayed for, you know, I prayed for my clients and my readers, and it’s almost like the circles of well wishing.

We’re at the center of the circle. And so three things I would apply to what you said. Number one, why should we become our best self? Why should we? Apply all the tools and strategies and principles I talked about in the book. Why should we see that first form of wealth growth? Because for a lot of people sound like hard work or, you know, I have a lot of responsibilities.

Well, I would say, you know, I wrote this book, the 5 a. m. club, some people, why would I want to get up at five? The more you do it, the more you can’t not do it. It’s so fun. You’re listening to roosters, you’re listening to birds on you’re writing in a journal, you’re [00:25:00] running on a treadmill. Well, And it gives you so much energy and joy.

The second thing I’d love to share is everyone listening and watching has a gift. And so for anyone who says, I can’t do this, or I don’t deserve this, I would love to say you have a gift. And the gift is neuroplasticity. And neuroplasticity, as you know so well, Melissa, is the human brain’s ability to adapt and grow.

We all can. All new habits, do amazing things, develop great skills, but most of us don’t remember that we get strong at the things we practice, and we want the rewards of world class, but we don’t stick with the practice long enough to install the habits. The last thing I’ll say on this is, people often say, well, where do I start?

And one of the chapters early on in Wealth Money Can’t Buy is, the best place to start is to start. If you want to run a marathon, get off [00:26:00] the sofa, go for a walk. If you want to write the book, write the first paragraph. You want to find true love when you’re at the grocery store in the avocado section, go over and talk to someone about avocados.

It might be the love of your life. 

Melissa: Yeah, I love this so much. It’s so beautiful. It’s about taking daily inspired action. Not waiting, not letting your excuses stop you, but taking that daily inspired action. And like we said before, it doesn’t have to be big. You don’t have to run the full marathon that day.

You just get up and you walk. You just take that first step. That little action. And I love that so much. Then you are in the driver’s seat of your life. You are in control and you are feeling like you’re progressing and growing and evolving, which is why we’re here. So I love that. Now, I want to talk about the morning routines of billionaires.

You work with so many billionaires, with celebrities, with experts, with so many amazing people. You wrote the 5am club. Talk to us about the morning [00:27:00] routine of billionaires. I want to know. 

Robin: Sure. Well, in the 5am club, there’s a model called the 20 20 20 form. And I would actually say that’s the minimum viable morning routine peak result.

Okay. Thank you. The 2020 formula is you get up at 5 a. m. According to University College London it takes 66 days approximately to wire a new habit until it becomes automatic. So not a week and then give up. Not two weeks. 66 days. All changes hard at first, messy in the middle, gorgeous at the end. Stay with it.

Once you’re easily getting up, At 5 a. m., 20 minutes of exercise to create a pharmacy of mastery in your brain, releasing serotonin, norepinephrine, BDNF, reducing cortisol, releasing dopamine, you feel amazing by 5. 20. Then 20 minutes, the 20 20 20 formula, the [00:28:00] second pocket is reflect. Write in a journal, reflect through meditation, go for a nature walk, but do some reflection so you’re strategic, not reactive.

They understand clarity breeds mastery. They’re not reactive. They know exactly in intimate detail what their personal Mount Everest looks like. And then the final pocket of the 2020 formula is grow. So the leader who learns the most wins, and education is inoculation against disrupting. Read a book, listen to a podcast, study an audio book.

That’s the 20 20 20 formula. The billionaires spend more time on these things. Most of the billionaires I’ve worked with are very fit because your fitness determines your income, stamina, impact, creativity, prosperity. The morning routine of billionaires also involves a lot of visualization. Many of them close their eyes and inhabit their lofty ideals [00:29:00] in intimate detail.

So then when they go out in the world and they’re laughed at, their faith is stronger than their fears. 

Melissa: I love that so much. So good. I love it. Now, what if someone listening is like, I don’t have an hour, I have young kids, what do I do? 

Robin: So I do hear that and I respect that, you know, like I’m not dogmatic, you know, you could do your hour in the evening or whatever.

Having said that, I think it’s really important for all of us, myself included, to Study our excuses and see if they’re real, because the thing about a victim is we repeat our excuses so many times we hypnotize ourselves into thinking they’re real. I’ll just say I know people, parents, who have children and they find ways to get up at 5am and do a great morning routine.

Some of them switch child care responsibilities according, and they do it three times a week or four times a week. There’s other ways to do it. I know some who get up at a little earlier and before their kids get up. [00:30:00] Be a hacker. To build a great business, you’ve got to hack the status quo to build a great life.

Don’t sit there and go, here’s the problem, I can’t do it, sorry, no thanks, can’t join the 5M club, can’t get fit, can’t meditate, can’t do this, can’t. Don’t be about, and be a possibilitarian, and be about, because often we just go, I can’t do it. And it keeps us ever so small. 

Melissa: So good. Amen. It’s so good to hear that because if you want it enough, you will create the time and the space.

Like I often say to my clients, just let me see your calendar. I want to come and spend a day with you and I will show you where that time is. I can help you create that time in your calendar. And it’s about prioritizing and it’s about being really honest with yourself. And like you said, evaluating your excuses and being honest about them and going, well, this actually just isn’t a priority for me to get up and do this.

And that’s the truth. It’s not a [00:31:00] priority. I don’t value it enough because I haven’t experienced the benefits of it yet. So just be honest. Don’t make the excuses. Just be honest with where you’re at. And I know for me, it has depended on. The season that I’m in, like when I was in early motherhood and you’re at breastfeeding, that hour looked very different for me, but something that really helped me was.

Going to bed when she went to bed. Like I was in bed at seven o’clock when she went to bed. And you know, I know a lot of people, they stay up and they watch things. And I’m like, go to bed early. If you go to bed early, you can wake up early. And I’m one of those people that I love going to bed early because it means I wake up early.

I love waking up before my daughter. So I have that time for myself. It’s about prioritizing. It’s about being honest with yourself. And when you do this and you feel the benefits, it’s so delicious. It’s like you have to keep going back for more because you just love the [00:32:00] way that it makes you feel. 

Robin: Yes. I couldn’t agree with you more and I was suggesting, you know, it’s easy to look at maybe the model, the eight forms of wealth and say, well, that’s overwhelming.

Why should I start the process of working on these forms of wealth that money can’t buy? Why should I get in, start this process of building intimacy with my heroic self and my strength and my wellness? Why should I work on my family life? Why should I build adventure, et cetera? It’s because few things feel as good as being true to your greatest self.

Self respect is a form of wealth that money can’t buy. I believe integrity is worth more than money. I believe that peace of mind is the new luxury. And so when you do these things, you feel you’re living your finest life. Or at least you’re in the process of climbing that particular mountain top. We all [00:33:00] want joy.

This is how you get to joy. We all want happiness. This is what creates happiness versus being on social media all day. Let’s go to the research on an average day, the average human spending 4. 7 hours on their phone. At the end of one year, that’s 90 days playing with your phone. If you’re playing with your phone.

People, I’m not judging, I’m just reporting, I’m not criticizing, I’m just saying. People say, well, I don’t have time for this, I don’t have time to build my family life because I’m scrambling in this. I don’t have time for the first form of wealth growth. I don’t have time to build my community, to strip out the energy vampires, to calibrate a great ecosystem where I’m in places that inspire me.

Because I have so many responsibilities. And then if you were to follow them for 24 hours and see what they’re doing, you’d see they’re spending hours [00:34:00] addicted. Like that’s addict behavior, looking at videos or feeds. Or chit chatting or over texting. I mean, texting is so easy. We over text. I don’t know if you’d agree with that, Melissa, but like so easy to communicate with everyone and now there’s groups and it’s so easy to share things that don’t need to be shared.

And then these things become our new normal. We don’t realize how much time we’re wasting. We had more time to do the things that are important, but we’re wasting the time that we have. 

Melissa: It’s kind of like, we really do need to set these healthy boundaries with ourself around our time. And not only around our time, like going back to what we were talking about before, like around our relationships, we need to set these healthy boundaries and these healthy boundaries are what allow us to step into our full potential and what allow us to truly thrive.

And so for me, I have hard boundaries with my [00:35:00] phone. And that is because if I don’t, then it’s going to be dinging and pinging all day long and I’m going to be a slave to that thing. So. I know what works for me and I know that having my phone on airplane mode most of the day, having it on silent, I have no notifications, I don’t have any social media apps besides Instagram on my phone, setting these boundaries for myself, and I speak about this a lot in Time Magic, my latest book that I co authored with my husband.

And it’s so important that we set these healthy boundaries. Otherwise, if you don’t, that time is going to get sucked up by something that is not in alignment with your highest self and how you want to live your life. So I really believe that. We all need to just take some time to set these healthy boundaries for ourselves.

Robin: Sure. And two tools might be helpful. So one of the chapters in, on the seventh form of wealth in the wealth money camp, I called it [00:36:00] go. Ghost for a year and a lot of readers, the book’s been out for about two months now and a lot of readers have found this chapter fascinating and, and many have found it inspiring.

And so what I say is, you know, go ghost for a year. Go to the place you’ve always wanted to go. Maybe it’s Vietnam, me yin. Maybe it’s the archipelago outside of Stockholm, but go to the place you’ve always wanted to go. Take some classics with you, learn to meditate. Build yourself into your strongest self.

And return to the world born anew to live out the rest of your life in an amazing way. Or, a lot of people will say, I can’t go ghost for a year because I have a family and I have a job, etc. Then I’d say, go ghost for a month. And if you can’t go ghost for a month, go ghost for a week. What my point, Melissa, you’re asking, if you can’t go ghost even for a week, once a week, go ghost for a day.

And what I’m suggesting is for 24 hour [00:37:00] turn off. Your phone could be every Sunday, you do a digital Sabbath and you go out into nature or you have a family meal or you listen to beautiful music, or you read some of the class that it’ll transform your life. Second tool, the two phone protocol. So I have the phone that I’m doing this interview with you on.

It loaded, it has social media, et cetera, my apps, but I have a second phone and it’s got a different color skin on it. This is my Spartan phone. Pretty much only has SMS and there’s no shiny toys that are attractive. And most of my day, if I have a phone, I have my Spartan phone with me. And so there’s no book or attraction to check anything because I can.

Melissa: I love that. That’s so great. That’s so great. I love it. It’s brilliant. And I love going ghost, even [00:38:00] if we can just try it for a day. I personally don’t do social media or try not to touch my phone on Sundays and I love it. I truly love that reset. My Sundays are for nature and family and friend time and beautiful food and being out in the sunshine and I am not on my phone.

It’s just heaven. So you’ve got to find what works for you and I love the idea of like going ghost for a month or a little bit longer. I’m going to plan that, maybe not next year or the year after, I’m going to plan that and gift that to myself. That would be so beautiful to do. So I love that so much.

Robin: Well I’d love for you to do it. Maybe take your family on a sailing adventure or maybe move to a place for a year. I’d love that. This is the last interview I’m doing after a four month book tour in about two hours. I’m going to be on an airplane with my partner, Elle, and we’re going through a little tropical [00:39:00] island for a week.

And then we’re going to South Africa and there’s a little cottage that we’ve rented and I’m going to paint and read some books. So I want to read and I’m going to nap and take long walks. I think. Elite performance without deep recovery is an empty victory. And I believe that rest is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

And one of the things in my work, I realize a lot of the titans of industry or productivity or elite, other elite performers in sports, for example, they feel guilty if they’re not working all the time. But what makes a sustainable career and what creates elite performance is a pulse. There are times to work and there are times to rest.

So this idea of going ghost is Whether for a year or a month or once a week, it refuels your well of energy inspiration, which causes gainable elite performance because the key to long legendary is longevity. [00:40:00] Not about being great in your work or in your life for a month. It’s about doing it for an entire lifetime.

Melissa: Absolutely. I’m such a big fan of rest and taking that time. And what I teach my girls inside SheLaunch is how to grow their business without burning out, without sacrificing their relationships, because I’ve been at burnout, I’ve been in hospital, it’s not fun, and starting all over from there is a lot of work, and so I get what that’s like, and I don’t want other people to have to experience that, so I am such a huge fan, like for me, everyday meditation, being in nature.

Just being a mom, you know, that’s playful for me. I try and make it as playful as possible and we try to be outside as much as possible. If it’s raining, we’re not outside, but most of the time where I live, it’s just beautiful weather. So it’s so easy to do that. And so I incorporate rest into my everyday life and you [00:41:00] know, I don’t always nail it, but it’s always my intention and I feel it.

I really feel it when I don’t. You know, working and being a mother, like I’ve got two full time jobs. If I don’t, I’m like not the best version of myself. I’m not the best creator and boss, and I’m not the best mom. And so for me, it’s like even more important now that I have my daughter to take time to rest and I don’t feel guilty about it.

To ask other people for support, and I know that’s where a lot of people sit, they have that guilt come up for asking for support so that they can rest. So I just want to hear your perspective on that. 

Robin: Well, my perspective is I totally agree. You’re right. A lot of people feel guilty. And I think it’s also a fear of missing out.

Our society says if you’re not hustling and grinding, then you’re being left behind. Absolutely. Absolutely. I haven’t been a member of the hustle and grind culture for over [00:42:00] 20 years in my work. I’ve been evangelizing the importance of deep refueling and deep recovery along with living our most creative selves and our most productive selves and our most prosperous selves.

So, I would just simply say, rest is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Not only napping and having a good night’s sleep, there’s also active rest. And so, things like painting, and things like walking in nature, and things like a family meal, and things like listening to music, or things like being around flowers and paying attention to a sunset, or etc.

Those are also forms of recovery. And if we feel guilty, The more we practice this, the more our understanding will grow. But if we feel guilt, let us each remind ourselves that it is when we are actively resting or even sleeping, that our best ideas are inoculated. [00:43:00] It is when we are resting, even if it’s active resting, that our inspiration is refueling.

So if all we do is work and hustle and grind, we are going to deplete the wells. That’s what I call the five aspects of genius, which include our inspiration, our energy, our discipline, and our time. So again, if we want to live our finest lives, our richest lives, absolutely essential that we take good care of ourselves.

And we play a very long game versus a short game. And that brings me to another key point where the fifth form of wealth is mastery. I think mastery is all about being a minimalist versus a maximalist. The hustle and grind culture is like, churn out a lot of work and don’t rest a lot. What I believe is it’s better to create one masterwork, what I call in the book, one Project X.

That’s your Taj Mahal. That’s your Moonlight Sonata. That’s youristine chapel [00:44:00] ceiling. Even if it takes you 20 years, it’s better to take time, be patient, and do one masterwork that you put out into the world that stands the test of time versus hustle and grinding and putting out a thousand mediocrities that never get any traction in the marketplace.

Melissa: I absolutely agree. This is what I teach in SheLaunch. I’m like one poor offer, my friends. In the past, I’ve had so many different things that I’ve been working on and it’s literally burnt me out. And so now it’s like, this is it. I am pouring everything into my Taj Mahal here with SheLaunch. And I love it.

And it’s growing and the girls are getting results and it’s like fueling me so much. And I absolutely love it. And that’s what we teach inside the program is like. Just one core offer, pour everything into that. Yes. You want to do all of these other things, but just start with one, give it everything and go from there.

Robin: Totally agree. 

Melissa: So I would love to know [00:45:00] what is your definition of success and what do you attribute your success to? 

Robin: Well, I think the starting point would be success on society’s turns. While betraying yourself is losing, not winning. So I believe it’s really important to take the time to set your own scoreboard.

And then even if you’re an army of one and the world is ridiculing you, you have the wisdom, discipline, and courage to honor your definition of success. I’ve met so many people, I’ve mentored so many people who are winning according to what the culture defines as winning, and they feel like fraud. Having said that, how do I define success?

It really is the eight forms of wealth. I mean, personal growth, wellness, staying fit. And energetic and living a long life. Hopefully family, [00:46:00] family is incredibly important to me. I have an amazing relationship with my partner, Al, my children, my parents. My dad just turned 87 last week. My mom’s in her early eighties.

We’re incredibly close with my brother, et cetera, et cetera. I have deep relationships with my friends, many who have been my friends for decades. So that’s a huge form of wealth for me. I mean, it’s incredibly meaningful to have those relationships, people you can love and who love you. The fourth form of wealth, mastery.

My work is my oxygen in many ways. And so I find great happiness and joy from doing my work. I would measure success by that framework of the eight forms of wealth. If you were to summarize it, ask me to summarize it, maybe three things, I’d say success is service. When I was growing up, my dad said, Robin, when you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced.

Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice. So service would be success. [00:47:00] Secondly, I would say enjoying the process of life, living a colorful life, an interesting life. And the third thing I would say would be doing difficult things is success for me. Going to the jagged edges of my fears, pushing myself to do things that I didn’t think I could do.

The trophy isn’t the result, it’s who I get to become in the process. So that’s how I might define success in three ways. 

Melissa: Mm, I love that. Thank you for sharing. Now, let’s pretend you had a magic wand and you could put two books in the school curriculum of every high school around the world. What one book of yours would you choose?

And one book that is not yours, and it could be on anything. It could be on personal development, health, mindset, money. Anything for what’s one of yours and one of someone else’s for that, you know, 15, 16, 17 year old, both male [00:48:00] and female. 

Robin: It’s such a great question because I’m a huge book lover, and there’s that acronym in the book, BABL, Book Accumulation Beyond Lifetime Expectancy.

I think it’s a great way to live. Which book would I recommend? It’s the new book, The Wealth Money Can’t Buy. It took me a year to write it, but it took me 31 years of my career to write it. I really believe in that book and its ability to transform human life. A book that’s not mine, well there’s a few, I would say for sure The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

First time I read it I cried. Looks like a children’s book, but it’s a book about life. Jonathan Livingston Segal, which is not just a book about a seagull. And I would say another, maybe the final book I’d recommend going to a curriculum. It would be Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. 

Melissa: Beautiful. I love that.

I’ll link to all of those as well as all of your amazing books in the show notes. And I highly recommend reading all of yours. They’re incredible. Now, I would love to [00:49:00] hear how your day looks. I want to hear from the moment you wake up, all of your little rituals, routines, how you prime yourself for your day.

Can you talk us through like a quote unquote typical day in your life? Now I know no two days are ever the same, but just kind of like a rough guide. 

Robin: So if I’m here on the farm and let’s say I’m writing or creating video or something, normal day begins at four o’clock and here’s the key. I used to sleep at 11 o’clock and get up at five.

Now, I’m, I start thinking about getting to bed at 9. 30, and I’m almost always asleep by 10. And I don’t use my phone three hours before I go to sleep, and I have a good pre sleep ritual because the key to an excellent morning routine is a fantastic pre sleep ritual. So I get up at 4 and for 45 minutes I do MVP, I, I mentioned it, meditation, visualization, and prayer.

Meditation might be I do a body scan or I do breath work, if I’m [00:50:00] working on more courage I might breathe with my eyes closed, breathe in courage and bravery, exhale insecurity and immunity. I might do that for 20 minutes. Then I go to visualization every 90 days. I have four beautiful projects that I take on for the visualization part of MVP Melissa.

What I do is I visualize myself as if those four projects were done exactly the way I want them to unfold. And then the final part for in this 45 minute process, which is transformational is prayer. I pray for my elderly parents. I pray for My partner, I pray for my children. I pray for my entire family.

I pray for my clients who put food on my family table. I pray for my reader. So I adore, and I pray for the building of a better world. Five to six is when I work out. I love the elliptical machine. I love the treadmill and I love the bicycle. Might do 25 minutes of cardio while I’m hydrating, while I’m listening to an [00:51:00] audio book or a podcast.

So I’m getting learning as well. Then I do weights and then I do mobility, which. look incredibly important as we get older. And even if you’re not, you know, no matter what age you’re at, six o’clock to seven, I write in a journal. I have two cups of espresso. I play great country music and I ask myself five questions.

This is. tool that’ll be so helpful. Again, if you don’t do it, it’s not going to work. And if you do it once, it’s not going to work. But if you do it with consistency, the tool I’m about to share will increase creativity, productivity, energy, inspiration, like you can’t imagine. So I call this the five question morning maximizer.

Ask yourself five questions in your journal. Write about a paragraph. First question, what am I grateful for? Gratitude is the antidote to fear. Second question, where am I winning? We have a negativity bias, we focus on where we’re losing. So answering where you’re winning gives you energy, [00:52:00] momentum, focus.

Third question, what will I let go of today? In the book there’s a chapter, don’t be a resentment collector. So what will I let go of today? Some resentment, some forgiveness, etc. Fourth question, what does my ideal day ahead look like? Little paragraph. Clarity breeds mastery. One paragraph on what your ideal day ahead looks like gives you the clarity to get the commitment done.

And the fifth question, what needs to be said so that literally every morning you connect with your mortality and what you want said about you on the last day of your life so you live to the point. Seven o’clock, I take my little dog who I call super chum for a 15 minute nature walk. And I can often take a bath with Epsom salts, listen to some more audio, and then I start my day.

Melissa: Awesome. And then do you go into your work day from there? 

Robin: If I’m writing a book, yes. And there’s a protocol I have in my methodology called the [00:53:00] five grade hour rule. So if I can get five intense, undistracted hours of heroic work done, that’s a great day for me. And then at one o’clock or two o’clock, I’ll go for a mountain bike ride, et cetera.

Most evenings. Ellen and I will sit down, we’ll talk. I love watching films. I love reading in the evening or, you know, or once a week we might go to a restaurant and then 10 o’clock I’m in bed. 

Melissa: Beautiful. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. And I love those questions that you ask in the journal. I am definitely going to be borrowing those.

I think they are such powerful, really deeply reflective questions. And. You don’t need to write five pages, just a paragraph. And I think they’re just so powerful. So I love that. Thank you. I’m going to definitely be borrowing those. Now I would love to do some rapid fire questions for you. I’ve got three for you.

Are you ready? 

Robin: Sure am. 

Melissa: Okay. [00:54:00] What is one thing that we can do today for our health? 

Robin: Go for a nature walk. 

Melissa: Beautiful. What’s one thing that we can do for our wealth? So more abundance in our life. 

Robin: Wow. As you know, there’s eight forms of wealth in my work, but let’s say financial wealth, one thing you can do, ask yourself this question, how may I create more value for more people?

Because the marketplace rewards magic rendered. The marketplace will not just give you income. The people making billions are serving a billion people. The people who make a million are helping a million people. So stop asking, how can I get? And start asking, how can I give and be generous? And the reward It’s money.

Melissa: Hmm. Beautiful. I love that. And last one. What is one thing we can do for more love in our life? 

Robin: Well, I’d say two things. Ask for the love. There’s nothing wrong with asking for more [00:55:00] love. If it’s your family, tell people what you need. They’re not mind readers. And then the second thing, and we’ve heard it a lot, but it’s true, is give love.

Because when you give love and are generous, even love isn’t just to your romantic partner. As you know, love is in your work, love is with your family, love is something to do with your health, love is something to do for the world. And the more you take the leap of faith, maybe it’s a conversation with a stranger where you say, wow, that’s a great hat.

I was in Dubai in an elevator. And there was a gentleman who had the Icester race motocross when I was much younger and there was a gentleman who had a baseball hat and it was a Fox. Fox is a motocross brand, as you probably, as you might know, and I just went great hat and he literally took it off his head and said, here, take it.

I’ve never forgotten that man who just went here. What’s yours? And [00:56:00] if we could be more like that, these leaps of faith, I believe it’s not just a gift to other people. It’s a gift we give to ourselves because that does build self respect and self respect builds self love and self love, it’s the wealth money can’t buy.

You can’t put a price tag on loving yourself. 

Melissa: No, that’s a beautiful story about the guy with the hat. I had a friend, I was with two different friends at an event. And I had just met this other person, didn’t really know her that well. And my friend said, Oh my gosh, that coat is so beautiful. It’s I love it.

It’s gorgeous. And she literally took the jacket off and gave it to her and said, have it. And I was like, what just happened? That level of generosity is just so easy to do, but we forget, you know, we forget, like even just offering a smile to someone or offering a hat or, you know, just these little things that make a real difference.

They really touch people. [00:57:00] They can impact someone’s entire life. Like, you’ve never forgotten that moment. I’ve never forgotten that moment. I was just a witness. I wasn’t even involved and I just witnessed it and I’ve never forgotten it. So, yeah, we can all be more generous. I love that. 

Robin: You know, Pau Gasol, the former center of the Los Angeles Lakers, came to one of my live events and we got to know each other over the weekend and I dropped him off at the airport.

And as we walked past the kiosk, people would. We’re coming towards them, adults and children, people wanted autographs, people wanted pictures, people just wanted to stop him and say hello. And Melissa, to a person, he stopped for each and every one of them, and he had a gentle smile for every single one of them, and he did it all the way through the airport.

And once we got to his departure gate, I said, pow, [00:58:00] it’s amazing how you stopped for every single person. And he said something we have never forgotten, and it’s very meaningful to me and it’s helped me a lot. And he said, Robin, it takes so little to make someone happy. I’ve been traveling a lot recently, like I suggested.

It takes a little to chat with a doorman, door woman outside of a hotel, and then go to the coffee shop and come back with two and just go, I got this for you. It takes so little on a bus to say to someone, Hey, how are you? Or just on that book, you’re reading interesting or et cetera. And I really do believe that when we give gifts and we’re generous, I believe in karma and I believe that good things happen to good people and I believe that it might not look like you’re winning, but what’s the game you’re playing, what’s the game you’re playing.

And if you’re, if the [00:59:00] game you’re playing is to be a good human being, then it doesn’t matter if the world celebrates you because. You know, you’re being true to yourself and that builds a great reservoir of self respect, joy, peace, 

Melissa: beautiful, beautiful reminder. You’ve inspired me to be more generous and it can be as small as a smile or a hello or a little conversation, and it can be as big as you want it to be, but it’s such a nice reminder and.

It literally can make someone’s day, their year, their life. Never underestimate the power of your generosity. Never underestimate that. Thank you for that beautiful reminder. This has been so delightful. I have loved chatting with you. I have loved hearing all of your wisdom. You are helping, you are serving, you are inspiring, and you are supporting millions of people all over the world with your [01:00:00] work.

So I want to know how I and the listeners can give back and serve you today. 

Robin: Well, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that question on our podcast, but I think the best thing that anyone could do for me is if I’ve been helpful in this podcast with you, take the ideas and some of the tools start small. I wish we had more time.

Maybe we’ll do this again because those five questions, I moved through them pretty quickly, but their science behind them and they’re very powerful. The five question morning maximizer, but the best thing anyone could do for me is just take the message I’ve shared and. In our time together, start small and start applying it and living it and integrating it so it becomes a part of your way of being.

Because we live in a messy world right now and we live in a very beautiful world right now. But if all of us just did our own part, I mean, the sociologist Margaret Mead [01:01:00] said, Never doubt that a small group of people can change the world. That’s the only group that ever has. And so if all your listeners took the messages and the tools and the principles I shared and just lived them and worked on them a little bit every day, we would have a cascade effect for millions of people over the next months and years, and I think that would be a magnificent thing to come.

From our time together, Melissa. 

Melissa: Beautiful. And like I said before, I’ll also link to all of your amazing work in the show notes for people to check it out. This has been so delightful. I’ve absolutely loved connecting with you. I have loved hearing your wisdom. You’ve inspired me so much along my journey and.

even more so after this conversation. So thank you for being here. You’re always welcome on the show. 

Robin: Thank you so much, Morrison. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.

Melissa: So good, my friends. Wasn’t that amazing? I hope you [01:02:00] got so much out of it. I feel completely inspired to take all of the areas of my life to the next level. And I hope you got a lot out of this too. I hope you took some notes. And if you did, please subscribe or follow the show and leave me a review. If you haven’t already, please do that.

That would be so amazing. You can send a screenshot and DM it to me on Instagram and I’ll send you a little thank you gift and come and tell me on Instagram at Melissa Ambrosini what you got from this episode. I absolutely would love to hear what your big key takeaways were from this. I would love to hear.

So come and share them with me. And before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you. You rock. Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now.

You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. It [01:03:00] could be the one thing that changes their life. Okay. And until next time, my friend, don’t forget that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

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