(Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeart or TuneIn)

Before I had my daughter, I had a vision in my head of what it would look and feel like to be both a mother and a business owner. 

But the reality? Well, let’s just say it was very different to how I imagined! 

Figuring out how to navigate the dance between motherhood and business has been a steep learning curve.

While I certainly don’t have all the answers, I’ve gathered some powerful lessons along the way that have been hugely transformative for me and have ultimately helped me become both a better entrepreneur AND a better mama.

Press play to hear 7 game-changing things I’ve learned, plus how I’m integrating them into my life.

In this episode we chat about:

• How to be okay with your work output changing (1:26)
• Your identity as an entrepreneur after babies (and how it may shift and evolve) (4:14)
• The critical importance of having help in your business — and how to get started with delegation (5:26)
• Why I now build in extra buffer-time to all my timeframes (7:47)
• How to prioritize like a pro (11:10)
• Why embracing flexibility is such a game-changer (12:38)
• Why I’m not drawn to the idea of ‘balance’ — and the framework I find WAY more helpful! (15:54)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
• Voxer (website)
• Dr. Steven Cabral (website)

Prefer To Read?

The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

Melissa: [00:00:00] In episode 5 5 2, I am sharing with you seven lessons I’ve learned about navigating business and motherhood. The Melissa Amini Show. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa bestselling author of Mastering Your Main Girl Open Wide Comparisonitis. And time magic, and I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the building, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready? Beautiful. Beautiful.

Welcome back. My beautiful friend. I’m so excited to share with you seven big lessons that I’ve learned about navigating business [00:01:00] and motherhood. Oh boy, no one can really prepare you for motherhood and no one can really prepare you for business and motherhood. It’s been two and a half years and by no means am I an expert, but I just want to share with you seven lessons that I have learned along the way so far.

And I hope that one or maybe more of these resonate with you. So let’s kick off with number one. The first one is your work output might change and that’s okay. When you become a mama, you have to be okay with your work output changing. So I want to share a story with you. A few months after I came back from maternity leave, I had a beautiful year long maternity leave.

I had a whole batch of podcasts ready to go, which was awesome. Nick stepped in for me and he did some podcast episodes for me, but I was able to have the most [00:02:00] beautiful maternity leave. And when I did come back, I began beating myself up for not getting as much done as I used to get done, even though I was only working three hours a day, not the usual eight hours that I used to work or however long it was.

So although I knew on an intellectual level that it was perfectly natural for my work output to decrease, I had to accept and integrate that knowledge on a semantic level. And once I did, everything felt so much easier and more joy filled for me. This is really important. I know that you might know that your output might change, but do you know it, accept it, and have you integrated it on a semantic level into your body?

Okay? So there’s also something that I want to mention here, and that is your self worth is not dependent on your productivity or your work. Please [00:03:00] remember that. Write that down, stick it somewhere you can see it. Because so many women that I work with in SheLaunch, they come to me and they really beat themselves up because they’re not doing as much as they used to do.

This is a thing. It’s about working smarter, not longer and harder. And that’s what we teach inside SheLaunch. But, you have to know deep in your core that your self worth is never dependent on how productive, how clean your house is, how many things you tick off your to do list, uh uh. You are inherently worthy, overflowing with worthiness.

Because you are who you are and because you are here on earth, you were born worthy. There is nothing that you could do or nothing that you could say that would diminish your self worth. You are worthy. So please never forget that and just know that your work output might change and [00:04:00] that’s okay. And if you are listening to this and you are a business owner.

And you are yet to have children, you can just take these on board. And if you are a working mama like I am, you’re probably nodding your head going, yep, been there sister. Okay? So the next one is, your business vision might shift. This happened for me when I became a mama. It has changed my perspective on so many things, including my vision for my business.

So some of my big business goals that once felt really important to me, they just didn’t after I became a mom. Meanwhile, things that I previously overlooked suddenly grew so important. So I found that really interesting. Because so much shifts when you become a mother, so much shifts, and that was really interesting for me.

So the big takeaway is allow your identity as a business owner, an entrepreneur to evolve and shift as you [00:05:00] go through different life seasons and allow your business to reflect those shifts. Remember, if you are building a personal brand. It’s okay for your business identity to shift as you shift and you grow because we’re all always evolving and growing and our businesses are always evolving and growing as well.

So your business vision might shift and that is okay. It’s okay. Okay. The third thing, the third lesson is that you cannot do everything yourself, my friend. And I’m laughing because. I have tried to do everything myself many, many, many times and I end up just burning myself out. I honestly don’t know how I would have got through the last two and a half years of business and life without my team and without my support around me.

So if you are used to wearing all of the hats in your business, now might be the time to start delegating. And if you’re not sure where to start, you can ask yourself. [00:06:00] What tasks aren’t in your zone of genius? Like what activities could someone else do faster or better than you? What do you not love doing?

Your answers will reveal the ideal place to start delegating. And I know, especially for me at the start of my business journey, I just had that mentality of, I can just do it myself. I’ll just do it myself. It’s faster if I just do it myself, but I don’t have. All day to work. I have a certain amount of hours in the day to get my work done.

So I need to delegate and I need to trust that my team can do it. And I need to let go of control and surrender. And sometimes things get done way better than I could have ever imagined or done myself. Right. But sometimes they don’t, and that’s okay too. It’s all a learning, but you cannot do everything yourself, my friend, for your business and your personal life.

Ask for support in your personal life. Ask for support from in laws, from your parents, from friends, from [00:07:00] whoever you can and be okay with receiving. I see so many women that really struggle with receiving because their inner mean girl says, Oh, I can’t possibly. Bother that person or they might not really want to do it.

If someone has said yes, I’ll help you or yes, I can do that, that means that they want to do that. So allow them, allow them. I love it when people ask me to help them with something and if I can’t do it, I’ll say, sorry, babe, I can’t do it. I’m not available. Can we do it another day? Or I’m just sorry, what about someone else or can I send Nick or whatever it is?

So delegate, delegate, delegate, delegate. You cannot do everything yourself. Okay, so the next thing I’ve learned about navigating business and motherhood is You need to make space for the unpredictable. So the truth about life as a mama is that [00:08:00] sometimes things happen that are outside your control. Maybe your kid gets the flu or they stop sleeping in the day or your childcare unexpectedly falls through.

And if you are running on a tight timeframe in your business, these unexpected events can be incredibly stressful. So to sidestep this trap, build in extra buffer time to your business timeframes as a way to quote unquote plan for the unpredictable. Now I’ve also accepted that although I’ll always do my best, there are going to be instances.

Where I cannot meet deadlines and I may disappoint others because my daughter needs me. And instead of beating myself up in those times, I focus on how grateful I am that I have the option to drop everything for my child if she needs me. And not everyone has that privilege and I’m immensely grateful for that.

But if you can have [00:09:00] loose deadlines in your business or set one, but then allow a buffer for. The unpredictable so that you’re not beating yourself up so that there’s flexibility and room for movement. I do this in my personal life too. Like whenever I know we’ve got to be at gymnastics by a certain time or nature play at a certain time, I start getting in the car half an hour before, even though it’s 10 minutes down the road, I start getting in the car.

I’ll tell Bambi, especially if she is playing, I’ll be like, okay, baby, we got to go to nature play now. And I’ll start the process because it is not fun rushing your child. If you are listening to this and you have children and you’ve been in that position before where you’re rushing them out the door.

It ends up, everyone’s in tears. It’s not fun and it’s not pleasant. It’s not a nice energy and it just spoils the whole experience. So I always [00:10:00] include a buffer in my travel time to get places and to get home because. I want it to be a beautiful experience. I don’t want to be rushed and I don’t want her to rush.

So I always allow more time and do this in your business to allow a buffer and let go when things unexpectedly happen, like your kid gets sick or whatever it is, and just be okay with that. Cause there’s times where podcast interviews. And then my nanny calls in sick, okay, I just have to work with it, like I just have to go, okay, cool.

I have to cancel those, move those. And every time I send an email saying I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to move this interview because my nanny has called in sick or whatever it is. And I don’t have any care for my daughter. They’re like, no worries. Cause usually they’re parents and they get it too. And even if they’re not parents, they get it.

So just practice crystal clear communication of things come up, but [00:11:00] always include a buffer and make space for the unpredictable and be okay with things. Shifting, be flexible, my friends, be flexible. Okay, the fifth one is prioritize like a pro. With just a few hours to work each day, I have learned that it is essential to pinpoint what tasks truly matter and which ones don’t.

So by zeroing in on activities that truly drive progress. What I call the needle movers. I ensure that every minute counts and I am continuously moving my business forward. So Nick and I will always have a meeting and we’ll be like, what are your needle movers? What are my needle movers? And we sit down and we work on those first before we do anything else.

Or we call them our time magic tasks. So these are our three most important tasks that we do for the day. So do those things first. Those are the needle movers. Do those [00:12:00] first, and then you can do the other things if you have time. And I know for me, then, you know, if my daughter wakes up or if she needs me.

I can be there, right? So what are those really important tasks? Three of those really important tasks that you can do first, before you do anything else. I also love to create before I consume. So before I am consuming content, I’m always creating, whether that is Something for social media or a podcast or a new module for SheLaunch, whatever it is, I always create before I consume.

So prioritize like a pro. Yeah. Okay. The sixth lesson I’ve learned about navigating business and motherhood is embrace flexibility. So I used to have some pretty clear preferences about how I liked to work. For example, I liked to have long, uninterrupted stretches of time to write, especially when I was writing my books, and I pretty much only ever worked from [00:13:00] my home office.

These days, I have got so good at working in whatever time and space is available to me. So if my daughter is sleeping in the car or the pram, I am happy to whip out my phone and do as much work as I can from my phone and tick off a bunch of tasks. So that’s when I would do those not so important tasks, maybe not the needle movers, but that’s when I can do those tasks.

And I think for this season in my lifetime, and I was chatting to one of my besties, Rach, on Voxer about this the other day, because usually I would go for a walk before I had Bambi and I would not take my phone and I would just be present and breathe and take in the beautiful scenery. And now I often do take my phone and that is when I am either returning all of my messages or I am listening to my podcast.

So I listen back to every single episode before it goes live. [00:14:00] So my team edit the episode and then I listen to it again. To do a final listen to make sure that it is all perfect. And then it goes live. So I will listen back to an episode in that time. So I’m usually working when I am walking. So this is just for the season that I’m in in my life right now.

And I have to work when she’s sleeping. And sometimes that means I do a bit of work before she wakes up in the morning, or I do a bit of work when she goes to bed at night. Now, before she was here, I never did that. I never worked first thing in the morning and I never worked in the evening. I had really strong, healthy boundaries around that.

But for this season in my life, I am choosing to do that so that I can have more time with her in the day so that I don’t have to worry about work things in my time with her, because. I’ve had the time to do them. So embrace flexibility and just be okay with [00:15:00] things shifting and moving for this season in your life.

And the seasons are always changing. The phases are always changing. You know, they go from three naps to two naps to one nap to no nap. And so at each phase, you shift, your routine shifts, the whole family dynamic shifts. So just be okay with things moving and embrace flexibility. I think one of my mentors, Dr.

Stephen Cabral once said to me, the key to longevity is infinite flexibility. And he meant that in, you know, flexibility in your body and flexibility in your mind. And I’ve never have forgotten that. He said that to me on a call once, and I was like, Wow. Because I was being rigid in my mind about something, about a belief, and he said, Melissa, the key to longevity is infinite flexibility, and I was like, yes, you’re right.

You are right. So embrace flexibility, my friends. Okay, the seventh lesson I have learned about navigating business and motherhood is The [00:16:00] perfect, and I’m doing air quotes right now, work life balance does not exist. Now I don’t ever strive for work life balance and this lesson is a biggie. For me, this concept of balance isn’t overly helpful.

Now, the truth is sometimes your child or children will need 100 percent of your time, love and energy. Now they need that all the time, but you know, sometimes they’re okay to go with the grandma or they’re okay to go with the carer or whoever it is, but sometimes my daughter only wants me. Okay. So she has just recently had her molars come through.

Oh boy. Oh boy. So during that period, she just wanted me. She just wanted me. And I just embraced it. I just embraced it because I knew it was just a season. It wasn’t going to be forever. Now we have to remember that there are [00:17:00] times, like I said before, when your child is sick or going through something emotionally or whatever it is that they will need more of your love, attention and energy.

Then other times your business will demand more of your time and energy and love, like in the middle of a launch, for example. So is that bad? No. Should we be made to feel like we are failing because one part of our life needs more of us than the other? Absolutely not. My friend, instead of worrying about whether I’m giving equal parts of myself to both spheres of my life, I personally find it more helpful to aim to be fully present with whatever part of my life I’m currently focused on.

So right now I am working Bambi is with our nanny and I am fully present right here. Working, recording this episode for you, okay? And then, when I’ve finished work for the day and I [00:18:00] close my computer, I go into mom mode and I am fully present with her. And this really helps me. This really helps me be with what is in front of me.

If I’m working, I’m laser focused on my work. If I’m with my daughter, I am with her. I have found that whenever I’ve tried to do both at once, That is when the wheels fall off and I end up doing a crappy job. At either of them. But when I aim for presence, I am able to bring the best of myself to both my life and my work.

So when I know that in a day, even if I’ve got so much work on, I know that, okay, the first half of the day solely dedicated to Bambi, and then we’ve got our nanny for a few hours in the afternoon, then I can do my work. Or if it’s, I’ve got my nanny in the morning, then I can do my work then. And then the rest of the day is for Bambi.

So that’s what works for me. I do not strive for work life [00:19:00] balance. I just strive to be fully present with what is in front of me. So the big picture here is navigating motherhood and business. Is not about perfection or fitting into a perceived notion of what quote unquote balance looks like. It is a dance, fluid, dynamic, and ever changing.

Now some days it will feel like a waltz. And some days a cha cha and others a wild jive, but whatever steps you are doing, it is the sweetest dance of your life. I love being a mother and I love my business so much too. And I have chosen to do this dance between the two. And it may change, who knows? I have no idea.

I don’t have a crystal ball. I have no idea. But right now, in this moment, I love this [00:20:00] dance so much. Is it a perfect dance? Absolutely not. Does it look messy some days? Yes. Come and see my house right now, but I’m not striving for perfection. I am just doing my best in every moment, showing up the best I can.

That is all we can ever ask for, is that you, my love, show up as the best version of you in your business and in your life and let go of the rest, okay? So there you have it, my beautiful friend, seven lessons I’ve learned about navigating business and motherhood. I hope you got so much out of this and if you did, please subscribe to the show and leave me a review on Apple Podcasts.

Because that means that we can inspire and educate even more people together. And it also means that all of my episodes will just pop up in your feed so that you never have to go searching for a new episode. Now come on over to Instagram and let [00:21:00] me know what you got out of this episode. I would absolutely love to hear from you, connect with you.

And I want to hear about your motherhood and business journey, how you navigate it. So come on over there and share with me. And if you are interested in taking your business to the next level, make sure you check out shelaunch. com. If you are a coach or consultant, come and check that out. And before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you.

You seriously rock. Now if there is someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please be an angel and share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them. Do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears.

And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy [00:22:00] isn’t a dirty word.

Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.

P.S. If you’re looking for a high-impact marketing opportunity for your business and are interested in becoming a sponsor for The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, please email pr@melissaambrosini.com for more information.

P.P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.