If you’re looking outside of yourself to gauge whether you’ve ‘arrived’, you will never get there. The truth is, it’s all a journey and of course I am still on mine. I always will be. No I am not perfect. What is perfect anyways?! There are still moments where my Mean Girl pops up. I am constantly refining and reminding myself of the truth (and let’s be honest, there are moments — even whole days — where I forget it completely). But meditation always brings me back.
In saying that, I do feel as though I have been through the thick of it now and I no longer fear the future. I know that I will experience whatever I need to experience, and always at the most divine time.
So why did I feel like it was a race?
Because I was comparing myself to others.
I was experiencing lack and I thought that others had something that I didn't. I felt like I needed to fix, change, and improve myself in order to ‘arrive’.
But the truth is:
We already have arrived and we already are love and our natural state is presence! We don’t need to fix, change, or improve anything. We are perfect exactly the way we are.
So, if we already have all those amazing things, why are we constantly trying to overhaul ourselves? The answer is simple: it’s easier that way. It keeps us from really looking at the dirty mess we have created and piled up all around our life. It’s ‘easier’ to just point, judge, and blame things outside of ourselves instead of looking within.
But if you’re serious about sparking change in your life, it’s time to clean up the mess you’ve created, just as you would a messy bedroom. It’s time to fold and put away the clothes. Let go of the old, smelly socks. Throw the rubbish in the bin. Make the bed. Pull back the curtains and open the windows. Ahhhh! Now you can see clearly. Now you can see what was there under that dirty mess all along: a perfect room.
Don’t get disheartened by the mess. Simply choose to clean it up. You can try and race to the finish line by buying new furniture and putting it on top of the old dirt and mess, but you’re only masking what’s really going on underneath. And if you don’t deal with it now, you’ll only have to deal with it later — whether it’s in two months or two years, it’ll inevitably rise to the surface.
So stop comparing yourself, my love. Address your mess, embrace your truth, and enjoy the journey. Remember it’s not a race to the finish line and above all...