I am truly honoured to be part of this beautiful Soul Sister Success Stories series that pays tribute to the amazing women who are choosing to each day face their fears and master their Mean Girl! A few years ago I didn’t really even know I had a Mean Girl (I know, I know … I’ve studied psychology for goodness sake), I just thought she ran the show and boy was she loud! I don’t have a fancy story and haven’t hit rock bottom but I can say that things in my life now flow more effortlessly since learning the skills to master my Mean Girl (which is and will continue to be a daily practice). Now according to my hubby I am some kind of cult follower but I like to refer to Melissa as my guru! I have done all of her programs, read her book, I listen to all of her meditations regularly and keep abreast of her blogs and what not. Don’t get me wrong, my Mean Girl isn’t ‘mastered’, she still sneaks in, but I am so much more aware of her and can now kindly acknowledge her input but close the door on her with a lot more ease.

For me, attending the Goddess Groups was probably where my journey really started. I learned all about self love, forgiveness, the importance of morning rituals, why not to dim your own light, how to cultivate healthy relationships and the difference between the masculine and feminine energy (woo woo right?!). During these beautiful sessions I learned from Melissa and my fellow goddesses that they too had these inner thoughts that were loud, negative and a total downer that were stopping each of us from stepping into our true selves (you know, the ones you think absolutely no one else has!). From here things just started to shift for me. I started to believe in myself, I chose love instead of fear and started saying no and the next thing I knew things were falling in place. There is nothing wrong with believing in yourself when you have worked your butt off, or feeling your happiest and shouting it from the roof tops but we live in a society that likes to knock people down and keep ‘em down.

Like Melissa, I am an A type who only has one pace – a million miles an hour (ask my boss!), but eventually, every couple of months I would come crashing down. I would be so empty and drained from all the people pleasing, long hours and going out of my way to do things for others that it was to the detriment of my own health. I learned to stop, take a breath and fill myself up. The simple shift of a little daily self love has made a huge difference to my health and happiness, I no longer fall in a heap and things now move more effortlessly.

The second biggest lesson for me was to drop expectations. I, like many people, had big (huge even) expectations of myself and others, which got me nowhere but into disappointment city. Don’t you love arguing with your partner over stupid stuff like the dishes because you were not clear in what you actually wanted? Silly huh! Since learning to move beyond this my relationship with disappointment city has significantly reduced and my relationships have begun to flourish – both at home and in the workplace. Earlier this year I became a first time mum, if my Mean Girl was going to come out this was surely going to be it I thought. I was prepared, I had read everything – the first 12 weeks were going to be hell (no sleep, pj’s until noon, rare showers and cold cups of tea right?) … So you can imagine my surprise when I showered everyday and managed hot cups of tea but I like to think this is because I just made it happen. I had no expectations of what life would be like and wanted the journey to be ours and not compare it to anyone else’s. Sure my Mean Girl has made some brief appearances but because I have dropped the expectations and am choosing love in every situation it is very hard for her to sneak on in as often and when she does I listen then just say ‘cya later’. I enjoy my hot cup of tea and 5 minutes of peace as I am hopping into bed and know if that’s all I can manage that day it’s my little self love ritual that will keep me going the next day. I pay gratitude for people like Melissa who continue to pay it forward to the future goddesses.