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The questions we ask ourselves each day shape our experience and how we view the world. 

So with that in mind, let’s take a look at the life-changing art of asking better questions.

This is a skill that’s so much more powerful than you might think. It can transform your mindset, deepen your relationships, amplify your creativity, and unlock doors you didn’t even know existed. 

Honestly, it’s one of the most powerful life hacks around. So let’s dive in…

In this episode we chat about:

• How the right questions can lead to breakthroughs in your personal and professional life (1:48)
• Potent questions to unlock new levels of connection in your relationships (3:28)
• Why the questions we avoid are often the ones we most need to ask (6:01)
• How to harness the power of open-ended questions (6:57)
• How questions can be a tool for greater mindfulness (PLUS: swipe the 5 questions I use to expand my sense of possibility) (7:46 )

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)

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The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

[00:00:00] In episode 588, I’m going to teach you how asking better questions can literally change your life. Let’s dive in. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa, best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready, beautiful?

Hey, beautiful, and welcome back to the show. Today, I am breaking down the life changing art of asking better questions. Now, [00:01:00] this is a skill that’s so much more powerful than you think. It can transform your mindset. Deepen your relationships, amplify your creativity and unlock doors that you didn’t even know existed.

Honestly, it’s one of the most powerful life hacks around. And I’m not joking. And I think as a coach or a consultant or whatever business you’re in, Learning how to ask better questions is essential. It is essential. So I’m going to give you some tips on how asking better questions can instantly upgrade your life, business, and relationships.

So let’s just dive right in. If you can, write these down, type them in the notes in your phone, and If you can’t, you can come back and listen to this at any time. But here we go. Number one, questions shape your focus and perspectives. Now, the questions we ask ourselves each day shape our experience and how we view [00:02:00] the world.

Imagine you’re having a challenging day. Consider the difference between asking yourself, why does this always happen to me versus what can I learn from this experience or how can I improve this situation? Now, the first question, as you can imagine, breeds a victim mentality and makes it hard to find a solution.

And you usually then just spiral down into that victim depression, right? Now the second two questions, on the other hand, they empower you and open up a world of possibilities and solutions. So can you see how asking yourself better questions can literally change your state in an instant? And I’ve got a little hot tip for you, a question that I love asking myself on those extra stretching days.

Where positivity feels a little further out of my reach is this, what can I do right now to make myself [00:03:00] feel 1 percent better? The answer usually appears instantly for me and it’s either like, go outside, take a deep breath, get off your phone and soon enough, I literally feel better than 1%. But that is something that I do each day.

What can I do right now to make myself feel 1 percent better? So, my friend, can you see how asking better questions to yourself can change your day, okay? The second thing I want to talk about is how great questions can unlock new levels of connection. Let me explain. Now, asking insightful, thoughtful questions of the people around you is a powerful shortcut for deepening your relationships and unlocking the wisdom in others.

This is something that people often compliment on me. Is that when I meet someone new, I always ask great questions because I want to get to know that person and I don’t want to talk about me. I want to talk about them. So in casual conversations, instead of the usual, like, how [00:04:00] are you? What do you do? Try asking, what’s been the highlight of your week?

It’s a simple shift, but it invites a much richer and more meaningful interaction. Okay. So instead of, how are you? And most people will respond with, yeah, good. You? You know, like that there’s nowhere to go. There’s nowhere to go. So instead of asking, how are you? Ask, What’s been the highlight of your week or another one I love to ask is what’s something that’s really lighting you up and exciting you right now.

And also like when your child gets home from school or kindy or whatever, instead of asking, did you have a good day? Try asking what was the best or the funniest or the most unexpected thing that happened to you today. Now, with this one simple shift, you’ll be gently helping your child develop a positive mental filter through which to view life.

Now, I remember when I’d pick Leo up from school, when he was in primary school and high school, and I’d be like, how was your day? And he’d be like, good. That is [00:05:00] usually the response you’re going to get. So asking something like, what was the best or what was the funniest or what was the most unexpected thing that happened to you today is going to open up so many more doors for conversation.

Okay. And this point has a necessary flip side. And that is great listening. Thank you. So, be sure to truly listen to what the other person has to say. Not project onto them, or anticipate their words, or race and add your own thoughts the second they finish. Just listen. Listen. Let them speak. Wait until they have their full stop, and then you can ask another question or let the conversation just go wherever it needs to go.

So that’s the second one. Great questions can unlock new levels of connection, which I love. I’m all about going deeper in my relationships. And not swimming around in the shallow end of the pool. I want to go deep. I want to go in the deep end. So asking better questions is going to help unlock that new level, that [00:06:00] deeper level of connection.

All right. Number three, uncomfortable questions can reveal powerful truths. So often the questions that we resist asking are the ones that hold the key to our growth. Now if a question makes you uncomfortable, it can be a sign that it’s worth exploring. So some of my favorite questions for unveiling hidden barriers and paving the way for breakthroughs are you.

Number one, what am I avoiding? Number two, what am I pretending is working but really isn’t? And number three, what am I afraid to admit to myself? So I’ll repeat those again for you guys. Number one, what am I avoiding? Number two, what am I pretending is working but really isn’t? And number three, what am I afraid to admit to myself?

Uncomfortable questions can reveal powerful truths. Okay. So ask yourself these questions at the end of the day in your journal and see what comes up for you. All right. Number four, open ended questions can lead [00:07:00] to profound innovation. Now the most successful entrepreneurs and creatives are those who consistently question the status quo and seek new perspectives.

Now in your business and creative projects, great questions to ask to put you and your team in the right mindset for innovating and problem solving include open ended, constructive questions like, what if, or how could we do this differently, or what would this look like if it was simpler or easier? What are we overlooking here?

What assumptions are we making in our current approach and how might they be limiting us? And what would happen if we reversed our current strategy? So asking open ended questions can lead to profound innovations in your business and your creative projects, okay? And finally, questions can also be a tool for greater mindfulness.

You can also use questions to become more present and mindful. Make it a habit to regularly ask yourself questions like, what am I grateful [00:08:00] for? That is one of my favorite questions. And I ask myself this every single evening, sometimes twice a day in the morning and evening, but at least once a day. And I write that down in my journal.

So that’s one of my favorite ones. What am I grateful for right now? Another one that I love is what’s beautiful in this moment. And the third one is, how can I release my expectations right now in this moment and be even more present? So they are three of my favorites. Now questions like these are one of the simplest ways to transform an ordinary day into a deeply fulfilling experience, okay?

So questions can also be a tool for greater mindfulness. And I’ve got five game changing bonus questions for you that I love to ask myself in my journal to expand my sense of possibilities. And hit my goals with more speed and alignment. Are you ready? Write these ones down. Number one. What makes me feel fully alive and how can I incorporate [00:09:00] more of it into my life?

So what makes me feel fully alive? Things like being outside in nature, ocean swims, being at the beach. Moving my body, time with loved ones, feeling my feet on the grass, dancing. What makes you feel fully alive and how can I incorporate more of it into my life? And when am I going to do it? So that’s the first one.

The second one is how do my daily actions align with my long term goals? I love asking myself this because Sometimes our daily actions don’t align with our long term goals and we need to be honest about that. You know, is scrolling social media for 30 minutes, 40 minutes, an hour, every evening, is that aligning with your long term goals?

Mostly the answer will be no. So, Ask yourself that question. How do your daily actions align with your long term goals? The third one is, in what ways am I living accordingly to my deepest values? Where is there room for [00:10:00] improvement? Okay? So I like to identify where I’m living according with my deepest values and where there is improvement.

Number four is who is inspiring me right now? I love this question. Like who is inspiring me? Whether it’s people I know personally or people I follow online or authors of books that I’ve read, who is inspiring me right now? And then I ask which of their qualities am I drawn to most and why? Why am I drawn to them?

It’s such a beautiful reflective question that allows you to Help you identify what qualities you see in these inspiring people and then you can embody them more yourself. Yeah. And then the final one is how can I turn the biggest challenge I’m facing right now into an opportunity for learning and growth?

These are five of my favorite game changing questions that I love to ask myself that really do help me expand my sense of possibility and hit my goals with more speed and alignment. [00:11:00] So, what questions will you ask yourself today to change your life for the better? Just a little recap, just to remind you that asking better questions, it is going to help shape your focus and perspective.

It will unlock new levels of connection. It will reveal powerful truths to yourself. It will lead you to profound innovation, and it will also lead you to greater mindfulness. So what questions are you asking yourself today? Come and tell me on Instagram. I would love to hear what questions you’re going to ask yourself today.

And if you love this episode and you got a lot out of it, please do come and share your question that you’re going to ask yourself today in your journal and connect with me at Melissa Ambrosini. I would love to hear from you. And if you did get a lot out of this, please follow the show and leave me a review.

That would just mean the absolute world to me. If you haven’t already done that, please do that. It means so much to me and it [00:12:00] allows me to continue this podcast and to continue to get amazing guests on the show for you. And before I go, I just wanted to say. Thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest, and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you.

You rock. Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.

P.S. If you’re looking for a high-impact marketing opportunity for your business and are interested in becoming a sponsor for The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, please email pr@melissaambrosini.com for more information.

P.P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.