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How do you keep your head above water when you’re struggling, when the world feels heavy, or when you receive heartbreaking news?

Earlier this year, I found myself in this position.

In those moments, when your heart is crushed, it’s all too easy to forget to take care of ourselves. We might even start to think that self-care is selfish or trivial. 

But I want to remind you — and myself — that tending to your wellbeing and caring for yourself is incredibly important, especially in times of sadness.

This episode walks you through a list of simple things you can do for yourself when you’re struggling. They’re the exact things that helped me, and I hope they’re useful to you too.

In this episode we chat about:

• The healing power of feeling your feelings (1:52)
• Permission to switch off the news and limit your media consumption (3:27)
• Why you should never underestimate the power of community (4:20)
• How to give yourself a break from your worries (5:50)
• The best natural medicine for a broken heart (7:36)
• Simple actions to give yourself time and space to heal (8:57)
• Why it’s always a good idea to help others — but especially when you’re sad (11:32)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)
• BetterHelp (website)

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The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

[00:00:00] In episode 604, I’m going to be sharing with you six self care tips. To use when you are struggling, when you feel like you are in a challenging time, when you’re overwhelmed, when you’re stressed, I want you to use these self care tips. Often when we are in those times, self care gets pushed to the bottom of our priority list, but it is essential.

So let’s dive in. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini show. I’m your host, Melissa, best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, and Time Magic. And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word. Each week I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life.[00:01:00] 

Hey beautiful, welcome back to the show. Today, I’m going to be talking about self care and using self care in times of struggle or challenge or grief or any big time in your life when usually self care is something that gets pushed to the bottom of your priority list. So, When it really should be skyrocketing straight to the top of your list.

So I want to talk about that today. I want to give you some strategies and things that you can do whenever you are in a challenging period, a stretching period of your life. Okay. So if you’re not driving, I would definitely write these seven self care tips that you can do whenever you find yourself in a challenging time.

Okay. So, let’s dive in. The first one is acknowledging your feelings. Okay? It’s okay to not [00:02:00] feel okay all the time. Like sometimes just sitting with our feelings and giving ourselves permission to feel sad or angry or confused can be so incredibly healing. Your feelings are valid and they matter. Okay? So I really want you to remember that.

And if we fully allow a feeling to be felt, it only lasts for about 90 seconds. But when we suppress it, it festers away, it bubbles away inside of us and then it will erupt. Like a volcano. Okay, so we don’t want to avoid, we don’t want to sweep our feelings under the carpet. We want to feel our feelings when they arise, okay?

So I know for me, like if I’ve had like a huge cry and I’ve allowed myself to fully release, I feel like a million dollars afterwards. It’s so therapeutic. So acknowledge your feelings and fully feel them when they come up, okay? Take a moment, go to the bathroom, close the door, and feel whatever it is that is [00:03:00] bubbling away inside you.

Feelings are like a wave when you allow them to just wash over you. And you don’t try and resist them or stop them, that’s when we can feel them and then release them. Okay? But if we try and stop it, I mean, you can’t, you literally cannot, you cannot stop a wave, you cannot stop your feelings. You can try and suppress them and sweep them under the carpet, but that never serves anybody.

So that is number one, acknowledge your feelings. Okay? Number two. Limit news consumption. So staying informed, if you want to, great. If that feels good for you, if that feels true for you, if that feels aligned for you, then great. But there is a fine line between being informed and getting overwhelmed. Like give yourself permission to take breaks from the news and social media.

It is okay to do this. It is absolutely necessary for our mental health, especially if you are struggling with something, if you are grieving, if you are going through a challenging time, Limit your consumption, [00:04:00] okay? Try and surround yourself with positive, inspiring, uplifting podcasts or books or feeds and things like that, and not negative or stressful consumption, okay?

So, that’s number two, limit your news consumption, limit what you are consuming, okay? Number three, connect with your loved ones, okay? When you are struggling, when something is going on for you, connect with your loved ones. I know it can feel like you just want to retreat, you just want to hibernate, but.

Even if it’s just a text to say, Hey, I’m thinking of you. Connecting with people who love and understand you makes a huge difference to how you feel. Like don’t ever underestimate the power of community and a shared strength in tough times. Okay. That doesn’t mean you have to share with 15 people what you’re going through, but one person, all it takes is connecting with one person, [00:05:00] sharing with one person, being vulnerable and sharing, like this is what I’m going through.

This is really challenging for me. This is how I’m feeling at the moment can allow you to feel less alone because you’re not alone. My friend, you are not alone. And I don’t want you to ever feel like that ever, ever, ever. Okay. So. Number three is connect with someone that you love. Connect, stay connected.

I know, like I said, it can feel very tempting to want to hibernate, to want to go inward, but that is never going to serve us. And if you don’t feel like you have anyone in your immediate circle, like a therapist or a coach or someone like that, there’s great websites, online coaching websites and therapy websites like BetterHelp and things like that, that are really supportive.

So connect with your loved ones. Share what’s going on for you and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, okay? Number four, do something that you love, whether that is reading a book or working in the garden or playing your favorite music. Make [00:06:00] time for activities and things that bring you joy, okay? I speak a lot about the self love menu, which is a menu of 10 things that absolutely bring you joy and that you love.

And we should be doing at least one thing from that self love menu every single day to fill ourselves up. And the more you do, the better. And it’s even better if This thing that you do is something that is so absorbing that you lose yourself in the activity and you slide into that state of flow. I find creative activities especially good for this, okay?

So do something that you love every single day. And I just want to be real here for a second that you might not feel your usual sense of happiness or joy while you’re doing these things. And that is okay. It’s also totally okay. If you do feel happy doing those things, like either way, these moments are important.

They can act as a respite from your worries or your grief, giving your mind a break and allowing you to reconnect with [00:07:00] parts of yourself that need love, attention and nurturing. Okay. So, when you’re struggling, when you feel like you’re in a challenging, a stretching, an overwhelming, going through grief, do something you love.

I know it may feel very easy not to, but just do one thing off your self love menu. One thing for yourself every single day. One thing. That is it. Okay? Maybe it’s a meditation, it’s moving your body, it’s putting your feet on the grass, getting some sun on your face. Whatever it is, just do one thing.

something for yourself every day. Okay. The next one, number five, get moving. So physical movement, physical activity is the best medicine. It is one of the most powerful, nourishing, constructive coping mechanisms on earth. The planet. Now, you’re not aiming to break records here, but a gentle walk around the block or a yin yoga session or even just dancing around your living room can lift your spirits and clear your mind.

If you [00:08:00] find yourself having an unexpected spurt of energy or emotions, channeling it into an intense, sweaty exercise session can be incredibly healing, okay? But, often, again, like with a lot of these things I’m sharing with you, when we are grieving, when we feel like we’re struggling, or overwhelmed, or moving through something really challenging, often movement is the thing that we push to the very bottom of our priority list.

But we need to catapult it back up to the top of our priority list, okay? Movement is so important. Move, move, move. I recently got a walking pad. So for my stand up desk, I will walk whilst I’m working. And I love it. I love it so much. It’s so much better than sitting or standing still. So move your body as much as you physically can.

It is so good for your physical body, but also your mental health as well. Okay. Number six, set boundaries, create [00:09:00] space and simplify. If you are not up for something, say no thank you. Simplify your life and your schedule as much as you possibly can when you are going through something challenging. Create space in your calendar to just be.

Lots and lots of white space in your calendar. And questions to ask yourself that may help are like, what is essential for me right now? What can I reschedule? What can I delegate or let go of entirely? Do I need to say no to someone else in order to honor my own needs? I think for me, as I get older, this is becoming easier and easier for me to do.

I am very good at saying no, and really pulling back on things that just don’t feel like a full body hell yes. My number one priority is me and making sure I feel good. And then my next priorities is Nick and Bambi. They are my next priorities. And so I have to put [00:10:00] me first and then them. And then anything that comes after that is a bonus, right?

So all the social things, all those other things, like, yes, they’re amazing, but I can’t do 15 in a week, not for this season in my life. Okay. So I know that and as I get older, I’m just getting better and better at saying, no, thank you. No, thank you. Of course I want to do all of the things, but if it is not a full body hell yeah, then it is a no thank you for now.

So set healthy boundaries, create lots of white space and simplify your life. Okay. Look at your calendar on a Sunday. This is what Nick and I do. We look at our calendar on a Sunday and we look at the whole week ahead and we go, okay, cool. What do we need to move? What do we need to delegate? What do we need to let go of?

And we create more space and flow in our calendar. And then we do it again every evening. So as we wrap up for the evening and we go to turn our computers off for the night. We will quickly look at our calendar for the next day and just make sure it’s all [00:11:00] aligned and everything’s going to flow and everyone knows who’s doing what in the family.

So definitely add that to your daily task list and then your weekly Sunday check in with yourself to make sure that your week is going to flow. I also put in all of my workouts for the entire week. When am I working out so that I know when I’m moving my body? Because if it’s not in my calendar, guess what?

I won’t do it. Okay. So set healthy boundaries, create lots of white space in your calendar and simplify your life. And the final one, number seven, help others. Sometimes helping others can help us heal too, whether it’s volunteering, supporting a friend, or just offering a kind word or a smile to a stranger.

These actions can remind us of the goodness in the world and our power to contribute to it. Okay. So there you have it, seven things that you can do when you are feeling like you are struggling or grieving and overwhelmed or stressed. [00:12:00] These are seven self care things that you can do in times of struggle, okay?

Now the bottom line is that self care is not a luxury. It will literally help you survive through the tough times and then return to thriving when you are ready. So take care of yourself because you matter more than you realize right now. And you really matter to me. I hope you know that. Now, whenever you do find yourself in one of life’s valleys, Trying to make sense of it all and finding ways to stay afloat.

Please remember that you are not alone. I promise you this. You are not alone, my friend. Ever. Reach out to me on Instagram, at Melissa Ambrosini. You are not alone. I am here, okay? So, I hope these seven self care tips that you can use in times of struggle or grief or any challenging moment in your life, I really hope that they support you.

And please, if you got a lot out of this, please follow the show, subscribe to the show and leave me a [00:13:00] review on Apple Podcasts because that means that we can inspire and educate even more people together. And it also means that all of my episodes will just pop up in your feed. So you never have to go searching for a new episode.

Now, like I said, come and connect with me on Instagram and tell me your biggest key takeaway from this episode. I absolutely love connecting with you and love hearing your key takeaways. So come and share them with me. And before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being here, for wanting to be the best, the healthiest and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you.

You rock. Now, if there’s someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them, do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears. And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty [00:14:00] word.

Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.

P.S. If you’re looking for a high-impact marketing opportunity for your business and are interested in becoming a sponsor for The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, please email pr@melissaambrosini.com for more information.

P.P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.