(Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeart or TuneIn)

Are you living your life according to a set of imaginary “rules”… that might accidentally be holding you back from the life of your dreams?

If so, you’re not alone. So many people are unwittingly following a set of self-imposed “rules”, without ever realizing that these rules aren’t real and they’re blocking them from success.

There’s good news though: if your mind can create these rules, it can also dismantle them.

So let’s talk about how to do that by examining 3 of the most common imaginary rules I see in my coaching clients…

In this episode we chat about:

• What to do when you feel locked into a path you’ve chosen that’s no longer serving you (1:36)
• Why it’s crucial to be aware of sunk cost bias (2:56)
• What most people get wrong about confidence (4:13)
• Why being liked is overrated (and what to aim for instead) (5:56)

Episode resources:

• SheLaunch (join here)
• Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Open Wide by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Comparisonitis by Melissa Ambrosini (book)
• Time Magic by Melissa Ambrosini and Nick Broadhurst (book)

Prefer To Read?

The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.

[00:00:00] In episode 596, I’m going to be sharing with you three imaginary rules blocking you from success. Let’s dive in. Welcome to the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I’m your host, Melissa, best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, And I’m here to remind you that love is sexy, healthy is liberating, and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Each week, I’ll be getting up close and personal with thought leaders from around the globe, as well as your weekly dose of motivation so that you can create epic change in your own life and become the best version of yourself possible. Are you ready, beautiful?

Hey beautiful. Welcome back to the show. Bye. Bye. Bye. I have a question for you. First up, are you living your life according to imaginary rules? You might be like, what are you talking about, [00:01:00] Melissa? But so many people are operating under the assumption about how life works that simply just aren’t true.

And if that’s you, you’re not alone. Like so many people are unwittingly following a set of self imposed rules without even realizing it. These rules aren’t real, and they are blocking you from success. But here’s the good news. If your mind can create these rules, it can also dismantle them. So let’s talk about how to do that by examining three of the most common imaginary rules that I see in my clients.

So rule number one, the rule of misguided commitment. There’s so many times I’ve heard this with, it’s too late to change my degree. I better just keep going. I better just stick to the five years of being a doctor at university or whatever it is. because I’ve already committed to it. Have you ever thought that?

Or have you ever said that? Now, many of us feel locked into a path that we have chosen, whether [00:02:00] it’s our career, our business, our relationship or something else. You know, so many people I’ve heard, well, we’ve been together for 10 years or we’ve been friends for 10 years, so I may as well just stay. Guys, this is crazy.

So we think that I’ve invested so much time and energy here that I cannot change direction now. But the journey to success is rarely a straight line. Have you seen the memes where it’s like success and it’s like a squiggly line? It’s not a straight line, it’s not linear. And sticking with something that is not lighting you up, or worse, that is actively sucking the life out of you, is doing you no favors.

Okay. So break this rule by listening to your truth, embracing impermanence and accepting that growth is not linear. Remember that it’s not just okay to change course. As you learn more about yourself, it’s actually the fastest way to fulfillment. Okay. But I’ve got a little hot tip for you. Beware of the [00:03:00] sunk cost bias.

So I have a question for you. Are you hesitating to change course because you fear that if you do you’ll have wasted your time or money? Now this is a classic example of the sunk cost bias. The idea that you should continue doing something simply because you’ve already invested time and money into it.

But here’s the thing, time that passes and resources that have been spent cannot be recovered and they shouldn’t dictate your future decisions. The key is to make choices on what promises the best outcome moving forward, not on recouping past investments. Okay? So give yourself permission to let go of what is no longer serving you, even if it’s been part of your life for a really long time.

Just take a breath right now with me and give yourself permission to let go of what is no longer serving you. It will take guts, but doing so will open the door to new opportunities that align [00:04:00] better with your current goals and aspirations. Okay. So that is the imaginary rule. Number one, the rule of misguided commitment.

Okay. And I know so many of you can relate to that. I definitely can relate to that one. So let’s move to rule number two, the imaginary rule, number two, the rule of total confidence and how this shows up is I must feel 100 percent ready before I start. Have you ever thought or said that? I must feel 100 percent ready before I launch, before I start.

Now, I definitely have been there. And waiting until you feel fully prepared and 100 percent confident before you do something is like waiting to get wet before you jump in a pool. It is backwards. The truth is confidence is a result of action, not a prerequisite. Okay, let me say that again. Confidence is the result of action, not a prerequisite.

Successful people didn’t start something because they felt ready. They [00:05:00] started because they are willing to learn and adapt along the way. Now this willingness to step into the unknown is what leads to high levels of success and personal growth. So embrace the idea that readiness comes from taking inspired action toward your goals.

Not from endlessly waiting on the sidelines. Every step, no matter how big or small builds the very confidence that you are seeking. And this is so true for business. Inside SheLaunch, there is a whole module on confidence because when you have confidence in yourself and your business, that energy radiates out to your clients.

And I know so many women who do not launch because they don’t feel ready. And I don’t want that for you. I want you to move forward even if you don’t feel a hundred percent confident. Okay. Keep showing up and keep moving forward. So that’s rule number two. Now imaginary rule number three, the rule of universal [00:06:00] approval.

And how this shows up is, I need everyone to like me. Have you ever thought, or maybe you’ve even said it, but most likely you will have thought this, that you want everybody to like you. You need everybody to like you. There is a tiny part of you that needs approval and to be liked by other people. And the harsh reality is that not everyone is going to like you, no matter what you do.

Even the most admired people in the world still have haters. Even the people who are out there doing incredible things still have people that say nasty things about them. So instead of stressing out over what other people think of you, why not fully embrace being yourself? Being authentically you is not only less stressful, it also sets you up for real success.

It’s what makes you remarkable, irreplaceable, and truly unique. So the next time you catch yourself trying to be [00:07:00] more palatable so that you don’t offend anybody or you’re holding yourself back, remember this. Being liked isn’t as important as being true to yourself. Your own approval is what really counts and that’s what matters most.

You are the one. that puts your head on the pillow with yourself every night and have to be okay with how you have showed up that day. And if you can hand on your heart, say, I showed up fully wholeheartedly as my most authentic self, then you can sleep easy at night. But if you’re constantly trying to appease everybody else just to be liked, then that is exhausting and not sustainable.

So, let go of the need to be liked by everyone and just simply be your true, amazing, authentic self. Okay? So, these imaginary rules, they aren’t just barriers, they are margins. Now these imaginary rules, they seem [00:08:00] real until you examine them closely and realize that they were all smoke and mirrors in the first place.

So which of these rules have you been following? And more importantly, which are you going to break? Let’s shake off these invisible shackles and step boldly into a future where we consciously and intentionally define our own rules. So just to recap, imaginary rule number one, the rule of misguided commitment.

Rule number two, the rule of total confidence, and rule number three, the rule of universal approval. These three imaginary rules are blocking you from success. It’s time to let them go. It’s time to step into your true, authentic, amazing self, because That is what the world needs. The world needs you to own who you truly are, to step into your full potential, your genius, your goddessness, your godness, and to fully own it.[00:09:00] 

Not to appease anybody else, but to simply be true to your heart. So let’s commit today, right here, right now, that we are going to let go of these three imaginary rules, blocking us from success. Let’s do it right here, right now. Okay. And I want you to come on over to Instagram at Melissa Ambrosini and tell me that you are committed.

Come and jump into my DMS and tell me you are committed. And if you liked this episode and if you got a lot out of it, please follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts and leave me a review if you haven’t already. I would be so grateful. And just know that you don’t have to live your life.

in accordance to these three imaginary rules. Okay? So thank you for being here. Thank you for being the best, the healthiest, and the happiest version of yourself and for showing up today for you. You absolutely rock and the world needs your magic. Now, if there [00:10:00] is someone in your life that you can think of that would really benefit from this episode, please share it with them right now.

They need it. And they need you to send this message to them today. If you just send this episode to one person, you may change their life. So do that right now. You can take a screenshot, share it on your social media, email it to them, text it to them. Do whatever you’ve got to do to get this in their ears.

And until next time, don’t forget that love is sexy, healthy is liberating and wealthy isn’t a dirty word.

Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire and educate even more people together.

P.S. If you’re looking for a high-impact marketing opportunity for your business and are interested in becoming a sponsor for The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, please email pr@melissaambrosini.com for more information.

P.P.S. Please seek advice from a qualified holistic practitioner before starting any new health practice.